Nominations for best CC one-liners of all time

Parent Cafe
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<p>and recently</p>

<p>“I think I broke my poodle”</p>

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<p>“Pass the drama to the mama” on DCs taking out frustrations on their parents</p>

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<p>I do. What a wise, funny, human voice. I wonder what happened to her.</p>

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<p>Shrinkrap classic: </p>

<p>"Perhaps the definition of helicopter parent is like that of alcoholic; someone who does it more than me! "</p>

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<p>I still remember the clam fart…</p>

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<p>My fav recent thread:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1213438-upenn-faux-pas-no-show-professor-has-been-dead-months.html?highlight=professor+dead[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1213438-upenn-faux-pas-no-show-professor-has-been-dead-months.html?highlight=professor+dead&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>And the best post in the thread:
Guys, you have to pick one: either the dead should be given the freedom to find jobs (including teaching undergrads in Pennsylvania) and earn a liv-- um, I mean… earn enough to l-- … earn enough to provide for themselves and their families or they should be allowed to retire and collect the pensions and annuities that they’ve earned. I mean, what do you expected them to do? Just drop d… oh.</p>

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<p>Love curm, also love Hunt, but some of the posts by G# on the 2014 and Beyond thread and coffee-spitting funny. The problem is that they’re kind of “You had to be there.” I’ll try to find one that translates …</p>

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<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/5579-what-happened-election-analysis-10.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-confidential-cafe/5579-what-happened-election-analysis-10.html&lt;/a&gt; </p>

<p>Go to post 391 and then read 393. I still find myself chuckling at sgiovinc’s response (Are you the UNABOMBER? ) from time to time , even after all these years.</p>

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<p>Whoever started the meta-thread to save us all time deserves an award. I think it was Violadad. Schmaltz also makes me laugh on a consistent basis.</p>

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<p>garland started the meta-thread, but violadad’s didgeridoo-playing daughter who came in 5th in the Iditarod is the best “character” on it.</p>

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<p>YES…hardly a one liner, but worth repeating:
From Violadad '08</p>

<p>"I know it’s off topic, but
can either of you tell me if my adopted daughter (half Polynesian/half Inuit) has a chance at Yale? She’s been playing didgeridoo since the age of 3, and studies with a world class teacher, is under pro contract.</p>

<p>She has perfect SAT’s, but her GPA is 2.1 unweighted. Long story, but her performance schedule screws up her grades. She’s in the bottom 20% of her class.</p>

<p>She has a full ride to The University of Tasmania Conservatorium of Music in Hobart Australia, based on her audition, but we can’t afford the travel expenses.</p>

<p>Or, should she take a gap year, continue to study privately, and reapply to Yale or Princeton next year? She really wants to pursue quantum mechanics as an undergrad, quit performing, and take religious orders after graduating.</p>

<p>Her only EC is competitive sled dog racing, but she is really passionate and placed fifth in last year’s Iditerod. Could this be a hook?</p>

<p>Also, we’re concerned about financial aid. Once she hit 7 figures from her performing career,(6 or so years back) the wife and I quit our jobs. D supports us completely and we have no other income. We have not invested any of D’s income (nor has she in fearing of having it effect aid). What we and she doesn’t spend for monthly expenses, she gives away to friends. With D no longer performing, our income will be minimal. How much will Y or P give her? Could a work study at Yale include a pt adjunct faculty position at Yale SOM? (They don’t currently have a didgerdioo prof on staff.) Will we have to go back to work or will we have to sell 2 of the 3 houses? We really need to keep the Suburban, Range Rover and the Bluebird Travel Coach for the sled dog stuff. Any similar experiences?</p>

<p>I realize I should have asked the financial stuff in the other forum, but we’ve gotta let U Tasmania know soon. "</p>

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<p>“any similar experiences?” being the best one liner ^</p>

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<p>I second Schmaltz for giving the best one liners.</p>

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<p>I remember Jamimom with great fondness and appreciation for all the laughs she provided and hope all is well. </p>

<p>My memory (that’s the only kind of search I’ll do, given my skills, and really, if you have to do a thread search, it wasn’t that memorable) of the funniest post was Curmudgeon’s description of the day he drove himself off to college. For the skilled, it IS worth finding and re-posting.</p>

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<p>I would agree with You don’t say and vote for Gsharp</p>

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<p>Maize&Blue22: Some people just can’t handle their coke</p>

<p>another one who loved those Jamimom stories</p>

<p>any posts by sluggbug and blossom</p>

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<p>“let me google that for you…”</p>

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<p>Thread Title:
“Colby Bowdoin Bates”</p>

<p>My post:
Based on the thread title, I thought this was a baby announcement</p>

<p>I was serious too; I’d never heard of those schools, but I have a great-nephew named Colby.</p>

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<p>I fail to see the humor in this, but I think that was a response to one of my questions.</p>

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<p>Here are a couple from Curmudgeon about moving child to school:</p>

<p>“Every time the wheels made the trip over one of Rhodes’ 30,000 speed bumps you could hear a redneck get his wings.”</p>

<p>“…I’m afraid that since Elvis week starts Sunday there may be a lack of hotels on Friday.”</p>

<p>“I’m sure most of you have heard me describe my physique before. Gone to seed is not even close. I wore the Xterra like a mohair sweater vest.”</p>

<p>“As I sped past 5 feet from his hood I did accidentally spit on his car. It appears that I had misjudged both windage and elevation. My bad.”</p>