Nominations for best CC one-liners of all time

Parent Cafe
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<p>Name of Thread: "Daughter finds a non college student to date at expensive dream school :(</p>

<p>Topic of Thread: Daughter is dating a dishwasher who is not attending college.</p>

<p>Response by ClassicRockerDad: </p>

<p>"OP, I think she digs the fact that it annoys you.</p>

<p>Come to think of it, I dig the fact that it annoys you.</p>

<p>At least her house will have clean dishes.</p>

<p>Hey, she’s dating a dishwasher, at least she’s not dating a toaster-oven or a microwave.</p>

<p>I definitely think dating a major appliance is a step up."</p>

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<p>There are so many funny one-liners in that thread, that anyone who needs a chuckle should read it:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1243773-daughter-finds-non-college-student-date-expensive-dream-school.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1243773-daughter-finds-non-college-student-date-expensive-dream-school.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>The latest from the ^^ thread</p>

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<p>Posted by JHS on the How Important is Security thread:</p>

<p>“Princeton IS highly dangerous! Who knows what flowers you might be allergic to?”</p>

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<p>“I understand that none of us can do much more than lead a horse to water, but … we can sure take the TV out of the stable.” Glido</p>

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<p>Posted by interesteddad on the diet/exercise/health support thread:</p>

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<p>Posted by beniben in response to a CCer who was freaking out over a grammatical mistake (forgot a period) in a college essay:</p>

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<p>badum-tiss</p>

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<p>The Anthony Weiner thread was funny! Just one example:</p>

<p>And if he is forced to resign,perhaps he can he a spokesman for</p>

<p>1-800-GOT JUNK</p>

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<p>Thank you, fellow CCers, for keeping this thread alive, and for pointing me to hilarious one liners and threads that I hadn’t found on my own!</p>

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<p>From the “Six TV’s and five XBoxes in ONE HOUSE” thread:</p>

<p>“Why do people get so judgemental about the choices of others?”</p>

<p>“It’s a Favorite sport here on CC.”. Alwaysamom</p>

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<p>I couldn’t find one sentence of this to pick out, but it is easily one of the two funniest things I’ve seen on CC (the other being, of course, clam fart):</p>

<p>"In the Yale Committee Room, also known as “The Room of Broken Dreams” there are a dozen or so people sorting through a pile of applications, shredding every few 2400s just for fun, pulling an application out of the 1900-2000 pile to accept, finding the child of two legacies to defer, and eliminating every third person with a hard to pronounce name.</p>

<p>With the applications that are left over, readers read the opening and closing paragraphs of each essay, check to see if the teacher recommendations are over a page in length, and look for a specific correlation between number of ECs and SAT scores, known as the Coefficient of Social Life. Those applications that do not pass those rigorous three criteria are rejected, except every fifth; they are deferred.</p>

<p>The remainders, about 1200, and pinned up on the walls of the Skull and Bones lair. The Bonesmen then fire paintball guns at the applications. If at the end of the firing session the name can still be made out, the applicant is accepted. If the Bonesmen make it so that less people are accepted than the required number, the admissions personnel select the lowest SAT scorer, the highest SAT scorer, the one with least ECs, the one with most ECs, the one with the funniest name (John Longdick, for instance), and the ones with semi-original essays from the rejected pole to accept to fulfill numbers.</p>

<p>Yale admissions is a party. They even needed more people to be on staff this year. That looking for a funny name was just becoming too tedious."</p>

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<p>Had to bump this back up since it’s the stressful March Admissions Madness time:</p>

<p>From “The Neurotic Parent’s Guide to college admissions is out” thread:</p>

<p>My D had terrible apgars! She did better on the retake though! (went from a 3 to a 7). Ya know, breathing just doesn’t come naturally for some people–she had to work at it! She did end up going to college, so all that effort paid off in the end. --Garland</p>

<p>Performancemom’s response is hilarious too!</p>

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<p>I thought this from Latichever was hilarious:</p>

<p>*
You tend to relax as you have more children.</p>

<p>When our first kid was born, and dropped his pacifier, we’d sterilize it in boiling water.</p>

<p>For our second child, we’d rinse it in the sink.</p>

<p>Our third child? We let the dog lick it.*</p>

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<p>If it is spring (and it is in Chicago) it is time to bring back the Meta Thread for All of Us.</p>

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<p>Posted by tseliot</p>

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