@gearmom That was the agreement before I got a full-ride. Neither of my parents are contributing anything to my education.
I’m not sure I feel comfortable asking my mom’s lawyer to attempt to get more money out of my dad. That would strain my parents’ relationship even more.
@thumper1 No, I haven’t taken out any loans at all.
I know I can take out $7,500, but I still need $3,500 from another source plus another $3,500 that my dad can’t/won’t contribute.
Even if you can’t go to admitted students day, you can still inquire about possible additional aid with MHC. Contact their financial aid office and speak to a financial aid advisor…which is not usually the person answering the phone! So ask to speak to your financial aid advisor. Find out that person’s name and contact information…and call and send an email.
You just never know unless you ask.
@MiddKid86 You would think that my dad would have to pay half of MSSU’s tuition, but only he can decide whether or not he’ll help me.
Talk to your dad first and remind him that under the terms of the divorce agreement, he was on the hook for up to X dollars over four years, based on MSSU’s cost per credit hour, and so far he hasn’t paid anything (right?) because up until now you’ve had a full ride. As far as getting a lawyer involved or not, that’s obviously a judgment call that you will need to make based on a number of different factors.
@thumper1 I plan on doing that as soon as possible.
When there’s a legal agreement, a judge can help with the decision making process.
@MiddKid86 I know, but I don’t want to cause more tension between my parents.
I’m sorry to hear you are in this situation. It sounds like your dad doesn’t understand what the child support pays for…
This really isn’t between your parents…this is between your dad and you. You have to tell your dad that he’s under court order to pay XX amount.
edited- question answered later in thread…
If they were married, I assume he would pay half of your college costs.
But since they are divorced, which is not your issue, the judge decides what he pays.
He is responsible for up to half of MSSU. He will end up having to pay $7000 total, which most parents would be quite happy about.
@onceuponamom It’s not ideal, but something will work out, I’m sure. If I’m not meant to attend Mount Holyoke, hopefully Richmond’s FA package will be slightly more generous.
I would think the discussion about the court order would take place between the parents. The student was likely not in the court when the order was given, nor has read completely the divorce decree.
I DO think the student should discuss college financing with her father. But in my opinion, any discussion about the divorce decree and and court orders are between the parties who established the divorce decree…the parents.
I will say, i feel badly that this student is being placed in the middle of a divorce financial issue. But if her mom isn’t prepared to enforce the court order, really, there isn’t a lot that the student can do alone.
OP, with Mt Holyoke - indicate that you would come to admitted students’ day with your grandmother if the cost to attend gap could be closed - that Mt Holyoke is where you want to attend but are still looking for a way to financially. Be straightforward with them.
Sounds like you have not got all the info from Richmond FA yet?
Your mother and father’s relationship is strained and they are divorced. If he is complying with his other financial responsibilities, your mother may not want to ‘rattle the cage’. Also if he has not been paying anything for your college (due to scholarship) there is a legal interpretation on what his responsibility is with the divorce decree - which I would encourage your mom to see her attorney with you to spell out exactly where things stand and how he/she thinks the courts would interpret the college situation. It may be he is responsible for 1/2 of the COA with your local school, and that amount can clearly be computed from school information. It may be that if you have full tuition scholarship that his responsibility would be interpreted as very little.
What does your mom advise? Grandma?
You are now an adult and it’s up to you whether you want to pursue legal action to get out of your father what is legally due you. My DH did not in a similar situation, but he has always wished he had, as he never got anything from his father ever and that man got away without paying for a lot of things. It was a way of life. On the other hand, a lot of people let it go, especially for future harmony and relationships. It’s rare a student goes this route. You would likely have to take a year off to pursue that avenue but then your father would likely have to cough up the funds.
This is something available to you as a child of divorced parents with such an agreement on file. Many kids from intact families find themselves in your situation where the numbers from fin aid say they can afford $X and the parents just say they can’t, and won’t. No recourse there.
"In my parents’ divorce papers, it says that he will pay half the cost of tuition at MSSU. I don’t know if that still applies if I attend Mount Holyoke or Richmond.
MSSU’s cost per credit hour is $173.20. If you multiply that times 15, you get $2,595.
When I filled out the CSS Profile, he told me he could only contribute $800, which I know isn’t the case.
I can talk to him about a loan, but it seems like I’ll have better luck asking other family members.
I guess I could tell him the reason I’m staying at MSSU is because he didn’t want to help. But that would be mean…"
“That was the agreement before I got a full-ride. Neither of my parents are contributing anything to my education.”
“I’m not sure I feel comfortable asking my mom’s lawyer to attempt to get more money out of my dad. That would strain my parents’ relationship even more.”
“You would think that my dad would have to pay half of MSSU’s tuition, but only he can decide whether or not he’ll help me.”
You can ask you Dad for money; you can reason with him that you should be able to use the money he would have provided if you hadn’t earned the full ride. But he probably isn’t telling you all the details of his finances, and if he says that he doesn’t have that money available and he cannot do it now, then you simply have to accept that as how it is going to be.
@FCCDAD Wow, so dad gets a free pass and pays nothing for college and that is fine. I think that it completely violates the spirit and intent of the agreement he made for his daughter when he agreed to pay half the cost of tuition.
@thumper1 “I will say, i feel badly that this student is being placed in the middle of a divorce financial issue. But if her mom isn’t prepared to enforce the court order, really, there isn’t a lot that the student can do alone.”
Well, that’s not how OP describes it. She said the decree says her Dad must pay half the cost of attending MSSU, and that the cost is zero with her full ride. As she said, neither parent is paying anything because there is no cost. There is nothing for Mom (or Dad) to enforce because they are both already complying with the decree.
And she is not “being placed in the middle of a divorce financial issue.” She is trying to CREATE a financial issue; Mom and Dad already had it worked out and decreed, and it sounds like they have been reasonable adults about it. They addressed college payment in their decree and they thought the issue was over and done with. Now she comes to them years later and wants to change schools; that’s not inherently wrong, it could be the right path for her, but let’s please keep track of who is creating (or trying to) the financial tension here.
@gearmom I think she has reasoning to present to Dad about why he ought pay the equivalent. Legally, she has no argument (unless her description of the decree is wrong).
Yes, Dad AND Mom get a free pass and have to pay nothing for college because she earned a full ride, and that IS fine.