The exact wording of those decrees do not usually specify the name of the college. I know a number of such situations where the NCP is required to pay half the cost of college. Sometimes it’s the whole cost with no caveats, sometimes there are stipulations, limitations. What it says in the OP’s parents papers is unknown, and if the OP wants to pursue it, she needs to get a copy of the papers and have an attorney look at it. My husband’s father was required to pay the full cost of college, by the way, with no restrictions, other than the fact it was for 4 years, and he had agreed to this for each of his 3 children affected by the divorce. My husband did see an attorney, and was told that he would almost certainly win the award and the language was clear and put together by a most competent law firm. As it turned out, he got a NCP waiver which made him eligible for a lot of financial aid so that tax payers and the university funds took the hit of what that dead beat father should have paid. As did the children of a close friend of mine. That the children chose not to go after their father who is wealthy with a then annual income of over a half million a year, cost the tax payers a lot, as they got full PELLS based on mom’s financials, and other state and federal aid as well as what the colleges gave in fin aid. They chose FAFSA only schools because they were eligible for zero aid from most any PROFILE school.
So unless this divorce was recent or there is some special reason that MSSU was specifie d in the the decree, it likely is a provision that makes the OP’s dad culpable for more than he paid and is paying. If that 's the case, the OP does not have to accept this, but can sue him. He’ll have to cough it up somehow. Depending on the jurisdiction, he may get little sympathy being a dead beat dad of which there are too many. He will likely get away without paying because few kids have the nerve or heart to sue their own parent without a parent heavily involved and directing this. So this OP will likely have to stay at MSSU when if s/he had a true tiger mom, mama grizzley or a father who had the principles to stick with his part of what is legally his obligation (if the decree is written the way i suspect it is–I could be wrong), she would get the money out of him with legal action which is usually what is needed to get what the courts grant to children of divorce.
@SOSConcern I have not heard anything from Richmond since I submitted my application about 6 weeks ago. I like Mount Holyoke and Richmond equally. I will attend the one from which I get the best aid.
Mount Holyoke’s transfer coordinator said that I could visit another day in April if the 12th and the 13th don’t work. I hope I hear back from Richmond by then, but I don’t know.
My mom is very stressed. The most she could give me this year is $5,000. However, she doesn’t think she can give me the same amount next year. Also, affording MH would require me to use all of my savings and all the money currently in my checking account as well as any money I earn over the summer. I also don’t want my mom to give me everything she has because I worry something might happen to her, my brother, or our house.
My grandma (and my grandpa) dealt with losing their farm a few decades ago because they couldn’t afford the payments. They don’t want me (or my mom) to be in debt. They believe that being debt-free is the way to go.
@FCCDAD I doubt that attending MSSU was dictated as the college that OP HAD to attend. That value was to be contributed. So dad will win and pay nothing but I am sure that OP will not forget the broken promise for something as important as her education. Maybe he doesn’t win in the long term.
@FCCDAD Except that MOM has stepped up to plate and agreed to pay HER share and keep HER word to her daughter when there is a financial need with a transfer. I would do an awful lot to keep MY word to my children even if it meant taking on more work. At least making an effort to contribute even 1 or 2k would mean the world to OP.
@HelloImChelsea What are you gaining by switching school? Can you plan for a year abroad or do the National Student exchange http://www.nse.org/ to enrich your experience. You could always go on to grad school debt free.
@gearmom, I think the switch has to do with her major. The one she wants to declare doesn’t have a lot of courses available. MSSU does apparently have her major, though, so maybe it can be a viable financial safety.
The NPC, and breakdown of awards appear to be $13,100 for the mother to pay and $5600 for the dad to pay. The student contribution would be included in the custodial parent’s part of the breakdown. Dad is being asked to pay about $3500 which is about 2/3 of what the calculators indicate he should be paying and less than what he would have been paying each year if OP did not get scholarship at current school and Dad paid what he agreed to pay in the divorce decree. . Student is willing to take out $7500 in loan, and mom can scrape up $5K for this year, and student also can come up with $6200 from savings. Since she is already two years into college and can get out in two more, I think it 's doable. Work with dad to get a little bit. yes, he’s a dead beat two faced heel, but still your dad. I 'm sorry you have such a parent.
@gearmom My dad and I already have a strained relationship. He made other promises years ago (even when he and my mom were married) and never kept them.
@HelloImChelsea I am sorry. There are many men out there who keep their word. See if you can work out a livable situation at your free choice. Being debt free will give you so much freedom in two short years.
@gearmom I want to learn Arabic too. I was originally a finance major, but I didn’t like the courses I was taking.
My dream career is to work for a think tank analyzing American foreign policy in the Middle East. My Econ professor this semester has opened my eyes to data science. MH actually will offer a major in data science in the fall.
I would like to study abroad in the MENA region, but it’s seems less practical than transferring. My parents don’t think it’s safe for a blonde American girl to go to Jordan, Morocco, or even the UAE.
Well, then you know how it is with him. He’s likely not going to pay unless forced. Unfortunately, typical of the dead beat dads in divorce situations. See it and hear about it all of the time and the tune is a familiar one.
You can try to squeeze what you can out of him. Schmooze him into taking a PLUS parent loan, if he’s turned down you get $4-5K more. But tell him you’'ll make the interest payment on it while you are in school, and do so, and will take it over when you graduate. IF you want to be tough, then go after him for the college money he owed you, as determined by the actual agreement and offset with that. Two can play the game sometimes.
I’m being harsh, because I know a lot of kids in your situation. I know several moms filing suit agains their exes to get money that is stipulated in the decree, and these men are refusing to honor the terms because they think they can get away with it, which many do. Each year the same story, a new crop of deadbeats. The few, very few women who are NCPs that I know, are more than happy to pay more than stipulated. My friend’s daughter is married to someone who has a son for whom payments are due, and she, the stepmom is more diligent and generous than her husband about paying for things for the kid. He has already said, he’ll only pay up to one half of a community college or cheapest option available for college contributions for his son. He has some language in the divorce decree that may let him do that, or close to it. He won’t pay a dime in child support either the day after his son graduates from high school. He’s counting the days.
I do understand about how the grandparents’ situation has debt aversion.
Can you finish a similar degree ‘debt free’ with current school. Then with degree in hand, you can pursue other education (graduate with assistantship perhaps) more with being able to be able to finance yourself. Perhaps your current school FA office or advisor, or dept can point you in the right direction.
Have you contacted Richmond FA office and asked if someone can look into your application and see if perhaps your status can be updated from no information to perhaps having the information soon - with them knowing you are interested enough to attend with follow up.
I’d go for the sure thing and stay where you are. Being the poorest kid at school is not fun. Being in a small town in Massachusetts and not able to afford a ticket home is not fun. Begging your parents for the next installment is not fun (this I know from experience). Your father doesn’t want to pay. Every dime you get from him is going to be a battle.
Finish where you are. Take Arabic on line or through another source like a summer program. If you don’t borrow $15,000 for the last two years of school, you will have more options when you graduate.
Have you looked into scholarships from the State department? They often want foreign language majors. There are summer programs.
@HelloImChelsea You’ll never really learn if you don’t go abroad. It would be invaluable. Not the same sitting behind a desk in Mass. And you would have you hair covered probably. If you can’t ever travel there, pick somewhere else to concentrate on. China? And your major does not have to match your career. You can always transition in grad school.
We don’t know your Dad’s finances; don’t assume he can afford more than he says he can.
We don’t know the specifics of the decree. If it specifies half the cost at MSSU, then your Dad is doing exactly what the decree says, no promises broken here. A quote from the decree would help a great deal to clarify, but OP might not have access to it.
It’s extremely offensive and uncalled for to deride someone as a “deadbeat” when he is, so far as we know, paying everything he is supposed to pay (OP says he is still paying support for her brother). There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with him complying with decrees and court orders and paying exactly what those say he should.
If I were the Judge and the case as described came to me, I’d say NO, you can NOT transfer and hold someone responsible for the increased costs, two years into college; there is no fair notice of such a possibility with the facts given. I’d simply hold him to the original decree, unless he could show hardship. But the exact wording of the original decree is determinative here.
@SOSConcern If I stayed at MSSU, I could graduate in May 2016. However, I think it would be very difficult to find a decent paying job after graduation. A guy in my literature class last year graduated with a 3.9 from the honors college and double majored in math and economics. He works a teller.
I don’t want that to happen to me.
I will email Richmond’s FA office tonight. I would assume that my admission and FA decisions have been made, but I’ll check.
@FCCDAD I doubt the original decree said that she MUST attend MSSU. You don’t think that was a baseline value? I’m sure that college expenses were not specifically included so that each party paid their fair share of nothing. The expectation was to help actually pay for her education. She is far overqualified at her current school.
@HelloImChelsea You should plan on grad school. With your GPA you could pick a good one. Don’t continue with Middle Eastern studies if you are afraid to go there.