Two acquaintances (female 52 and male 64) started dating each other. While he is a very nice guy with assets and ok looking, I keep thinking, ewww, how can she kiss his mouthful of brown-tinged crooked, cracked / chipped teeth?
The wife and I had a talk about a week ago as to what we would recommend to our kids as dealbreakers and it came to only two things:
- If the parents are divorced, they will need to have a frank talk about the existing relationships;
- No psychotropic medications. Mrs. Mags is in healthcare and sees the strain of mental illness on families and would prefer our kids play the odds to avoid it.
Past that, it is up to them. We really would prefer that our kids seek our approval for a future spouse, but if S1 is any indication, dating a girl for 10 months I have never met, it is unlikely.
A bald head does not bother me in the least and I think a shaved head can look very powerful on the right guy. I also like long hair on men, but very few can carry that especially corporate guys.
I wanted a man with a sense of humor who was honest, self-possessed, and wanted children. I met DH by chance when friends and I went out one Friday night. The first thing I noticed about him was his laugh. It was so joyful I actually turned my head to see who had that amazing laugh. It didn’t hurt that the owner was drop dead gorgeous. I was nearly 30 and he was several years older, which I think helped us. We both had a pretty clear idea of who we were and what we were looking for by then.
The grammar thing actually came up when we were dating because I was just finishing putting myself through college when we met. Schoolwork always came easily to me and DH was worried that he wasn’t smart enough for me. Turns out, DH is dyslexic so schoolwork didn’t come naturally to him, but he’s actually very smart. We just have different learning styles. His grammar never bothered me though.
A bald head means significant $$$$ in haircuts, shampoo, and conditioner savings, folks! 
it can be hundreds if not thousands of dollars over the lifetime! As long as they do not look like Jim Cramer (or his great grand uncle Vlad Lenin), bald dudes are fine in my book! 
Yep, Chris Daughtrey, Vin Diesel, Andre Agassi and The Rock are all bald.
This is still my idea of hot:
http://www.zoomerradio.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/barrygibb-400x300.jpg
Sigh. :x
(I went to beauty school after high school, so I’ve saved my family a lot of money in hair care over the years.)
Lol^^ That much hair maintenance says to me that a guy is really into himself.
Sad, I know, very sad, but the heart wants what the heart wants…
@choatiemom you know he is about 70 now? Too dated of a look for me and that is a lot of hair!
Jason Aldean is my ideal:
https://northernoutlaw.files.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2015/01/jason-aldean-countrymusicislove2.jpg
He’s still got it:
http://www.cowsonthecouch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Barry-Gibb.jpg
(Of course, I’m not fantasizing about the 70-year-old.)
Non smoker. Likes animals. My next husband will like cats and dogs, not just tolerate them, but like them. Current H puts up with cats who have found us, likes the idea of a dog but has never been ready to get one.
I may be wading into it when I say this, but I think people who like cats are better able to put up with people who don’t agree with them. People who like cats can say “I respect you, but don’t agree” and then let you do your own thing.
Deal breakers were discovered as I rejected/was rejected back in my twenties.
Someone at least as intelligent as I am was definitely on the list, then and now. I did not want to run circles around my H. As well educated came along with this. Valuing these was a must.
Religion is definitely a deal breaker for everyone. The two need to be on the same page regarding it. No wonder as I was defining my views I never could go for those who were religious or believers. Growing up I assumed I’d marry a Catholic. I discovered how much in common H and I had despite our Catholic/Hindu upbringings. There are common cultural things in those two compared to some more austere ones. H and I have more similarities in our family values et al than I would have thought- something noted years after we were married.
Height. Years ago (may have changed for the next generation) the average height for a man was 5’9" and for a woman 5’4". I wanted a taller than my 5’9" man but the guy over 4" shorter was the one. The person is more important than many physical attributes we thought mattered.
Smoker- out!
Political compatibility matters. Not always sharing the same views, but sharing many and the approach to them.
There are many other factors that could have meant a very different life for me. IF the right guy had been European American, was more into sports, food and so many other variables I likely would have done different things. It is only decades later we realize what the deal breakers actually were. What we thought we wanted in our twenties fell by the wayside when we found the right spouse for ourselves. There are many characteristics I would prefer to be different in my H- and I know he would prefer in me- but obviously none were deal breakers. On those days we have a serious argument potential deal breakers are mentioned, but so far they haven’t been.
Both of us felt like outsiders. It seems so much easier for those who fit into their society to find a spouse. Neither of us could join a religion. Neither of us fit the typical gender sizes. We both are physicians although with different specialties there are differences.
Would we marry each other again knowing how much we do about each other??? Perhaps it’s good we didn’t know as much when we married after meeting in our early thirties. It helped that we knew there weren’t too many likely compatible choices- no sense holding out for someone better.
I think bald looks empowered-- very badass Lex Luther-ish. Better bald than a comb-over…
^So I take it you are bald?
Agree with the many posters who said smoking would be a deal breaker. I can put up with a some things but smoking is just not one of them.
Two words- Tim McGraw.
Smoking. Blech. That is a deal killer for me.
Bald men are sexy!