<p>Hi, all – I would appreciate any advice that anyone can offer. For many reasons, I now find myself in need of a job. While I had plenty of jobs in my 20’s, I hated them and never developed the necessary drive. I got married, had children and lived abroad for fifteen years. I had a miserable first year as an empty-nester and am contemplating working. I only have a B.A., lousy computer skills and fluency in languages that are no longer important (if only this were the 19th century!). I attempted to write a CV and my husband laughed and my brother . . . well, let’s just say that he looks upon me with scorn and contempt. I will round out the picture by mentioning my hair, which has some grey. Yesterday a grey-haired friend informed me that I would never find employment without high-maintenance hair. What’s a person to do?</p>
<p>Oh gosh. So many questions. Where do you live? (near a city, what kind of industry dominates…) How much $$$ do you need to earn? (goes without saying:)). What kind of parenting tasks have you been good at (crafty stuff, organizational stuff, bossing people around stuff…) Where is your undergraduate degree from? (alumni network).</p>
<p>You have my sympathies. And yet. I went back to work after only four years off with my kids. I did not want to but had to. Although now I have a job that pays well and is fairly high level I do believe I would give it up now if someone would give me the chance to go back 10 years, have another baby, and stay home. Even if it meant facing what you face now. Just in case that makes you feel better:).</p>
<p>Georgemma,</p>
<p>You’re in a tough situation, although you <em>can</em> do something about it. You didn’t mention whether you need a job for the benefits, the salary, the emotional fulfillment – or all of the preceding. </p>
<p>This sounds a little, well, small potatoes, but do you have a Starbuck’s near you? During the massive layoffs a few years ago, a lot of women like you had to enter the workforce in a hurry, without a recent job. Starbucks not only hired many, but also offered full benefits after 25 hours/week. Some of those women stayed with the company to get promoted into management so they could use that on their resumes to get better jobs.</p>
<p>What are your skills? Your interests? The kind of job you’d like?</p>
<p>How does substitue teaching pay in your local school district? </p>
<p>I am presently employed part-time (three guesses from my screen name what my job is!), and don’t think I want to put in the time required to get my skill set up for my former, pre-stay-at-home-mom years as a master’s level speech-language pathologist. So I am putting together my application for sub-ing in the local high school. They already know me there from my three kids and all the volunteer hours I spent (many thought I already worked there!). Of course, unless you take on a “long-term” sub job, the hours/days worked are totally up to you (though I imagine you will get more calls if you are pretty reliable).</p>
<p>Just a suggestion…best to you in your quest!</p>
<p>There are books about this subject. Go on Amazon.com and search for “return to work” or "empty nest’ or some such, and i’m sure there will be several to choose from.</p>
<p>As far as your husband and your brother laughing at your resume – well, it doesn’t sound to me like you’ve got a real supportive network here, does it. These are the two people who should be supporting you to the hilt, who should be helping you take what you’ve done and put the right spin on it. The fact that they’re derisive is appalling.</p>
<p>BTW, it is easy to improve your computer skills: CompUSA (and probably other places) offer one-day or half-day courses on Excel, Word, etc. </p>
<p>Finally, have you done any consistent volunteer work? Put that on your resume. It’s also a great way to get references. </p>
<p>And if you can’t find something appropriate within a few months, then take a volunteer job. They will sometimes morph into paid work.</p>
<p>If you know you have lousy computer skills, then you can update them. Computer skills, even if it is just simple word, excel and searching the web skills, will not make you seem like a dinosaur.</p>
<p>You can make yourself not seem so “olde” by dying the gray out of your hair. Heck, even men are dying their hair nowadays–doesn’t do to look too old–unless you are playing Dumbledore.</p>
<p>Finally, you may want to check with a temp agency like Apple One–which could give you a range of ideas of jobs out there. My neighbor went there recently and they put him in a job that could very well pan out for the long term.</p>
<p>You may want to let your feelings about getting a job known to your friends. They can be a network of people keeping their ears to the ground for you.</p>
<p>Good luck! The good thing is that it doesn’t seem that you NEED to get a job right away. I was worried when I clicked on the thread that this was about a newly divorced, older woman (although if the H doesn’t start getting more supportive…)</p>
<p>The pay is lousy but preschools and daycares will welcome your stability and family-related skills, just as they stand today. The timing is perfect now as they are gearing up for Sept. l.</p>
<p>Try to write a skill-based resume rather than a chronological one. Challenge yourself to think about times when you volunteered at your kids’ school and what skills you NOW BRING to bear on a job. </p>
<p>You may be overlooking some things you take for granted, including good spoken English, phone manners, humor and patience (the last two got you through the childrearing, we all know that).</p>
<p>I wouldn’t take the gray-hair comment as Gospel. Was your gray-haired friend employed or just someone making a comment from some defeated place in her life? </p>
<p>WIth September around the corner, there might also be some career or skills (computer) courses in easy grasp at a community center. This will at least get you out and moving in the community. </p>
<p>It could take until Christmas but if you keep working at it and don’t let your husband and brother-in-law bring down your spirits, you can prevail.</p>
<p>Ignore Husband and Brother:</p>
<p>Let’s see: International Experience, foreign language skills, are a start.</p>
<p>What are your interests? hobbies? What jobs look interesting to you?</p>
<p>If you’re looking more for fulfilment, and not necessarily for salary level or benefits, think about the non-profit sector. Especially if you have any relevant, volunteer experience or personal interest in a related area or a similar type of organization. The entry-level pay is laughable in most cases, but if the paycheck isn’t a deal-breaker, and your health coverage is taken care of, there are lots of interesting jobs in all sorts of non-profits, whether health and human service oriented, the arts, education…</p>
<p>So many entry level non-profit jobs are thought of by young people as a short-term jumping off point; it’s necessary for the organization, based on what they can afford, but these young staffers get trained, then all that investment jumps ship. You might be surprised at how attractive you might be to an employer, as a more stable, longer-term employee, in the right situation.</p>
<p>I’d advise that you contact a career counselor – the counselor can help you recognize what important job skills you already have; give you ideas as to where these can be applied; help you with a resume; and give you appropriate advice as to your appropriate appearance/dress for the type of positions that might be a good fit for you. You have many job skills – you just don’t know it because you haven’t been paid. But stay-at-home moms have all sorts of organizational skills, as well as experience with various tasks (cooking, childcare, etc.). A career counselor can help you develop a “functional resume” – that is, a resume that highlights your experience in specific skill areas, as opposed to merely listing jobs.</p>
<p>You sound very interesting, Georgemma. Don’t let negative comments get to you. Do you need $$$? Or are you seeking fulfillment without regard to a salary? I think all the above advice is great. I’d add being a hospice volunteer because they are always looking for people with language skills to serve the elderly immigrant communities. Every skill or talent uner the sun can be utilized by families caring for thier dying relatives. It can be direct aid to a patient or relief provided to a stressed out, overworked family member.</p>
<p>Good luck in your search. There is a great fit out there for you. Be positive & be tenacious.</p>
<p>Not too much advice … this is more to commiserate! It’s tough out there!! I happen to live in MI, where decent-paying jobs are at a premium. I have been substitute teaching for the last 4 years. I really enjoy it, but it doesn’t pay all that well (and as the school budgets are squeezed here, our pay has suffered). In addition, it is harder today to get sub jobs if you don’t have a teaching certificate. Very few districts in my area will take subs without teaching certificates. I got lucky & was grandfathered in for my district. If you can sub, it is a nice starting point. I have appreciated the flexibility it offers, because going back to work after “always being there” is tough. It’s been nice to get used to it on my own terms!</p>
<p>I need to earn more money now, though, so I have been sending out resumes for available jobs. I can’t even get an interview. However, I will keep trying! Do what you can to update your computer skills, and try to figure out how to “play up” the skills you have learned/used in your years off. Best of luck to you — I am sure you have a lot to offer. You just have to figure out how to get someone else to realize that!</p>
<p>Depending on your languages and the skill level, you might want to check out what it takes to become a translator. Hospitals are mandated to provide translation in a whole raft of langages, and have long lists of people to call in event of need. You would need training in medical translation, sometimes available at community colleges. Courts are another place to look for this sort of work. </p>
<p>Again, capitalizing on your international experience, working with foreign students in some capacity, or working for a real estate company with relocation. I was looking at a job for a time finding placement for HS exchange students. Some pay and travel opportunity involved, though not a way to make vast sums. </p>
<p>Expect this quest to be a bit rough. Job searches are always hard on the ego, more so the ‘less than a spring chicken’ job search. You need to believe in yourself, despite those silly guys in your life with other messages. Seeing your past posts, you are well spoken and well traveled. One road leads to another, and you will find something, though it may be a process to get there.</p>
<p>Have you discovered Craigslist.com yet?
If your community is covered on their geographic list, click on and read all the jobs out there. It is really surprising sometimes, and a safe way to see a range of jobs in your city or town. Some of them are grassroots because it’s free advertising, except for a few major cities (NYC, maybe LA)/</p>
<p>If you get really brave, you can advertise something you can do for pay and see if anyone responds. Some examples: afterschool homework help at your home; childcare in your home; running personal errands for a fee; plant/pet care during vacations and so on. I’ve heard there’s a market for grandma-types who’ll go into someone else’s home for a weekend when the parents travel for business. You take over running the house and getting the kids where they need to be. That would show your husband and he’d have to get his own meals for the whole weekend ;)</p>
<p>Also, read the other people advertising themselves and see which kind of tone YOU respond to well, and which poorly. It will help you know how to best present yourself by phone or cover letters. </p>
<p>This is just “filler” however; the real work is by getting a career counselor or do more research on how resumes can look today. Functional, not chronological resumes, as mentioned above, work better for mature workers who’ve been out of the paid workforce for a while.</p>
<p>What kind of networking opportunity do you have from your life? If you belong to a church, let the minister know what you’re trying to do new with your life, and ask if s/he knows any congregants who’d give you a start-back job. Tell other community leaders what you’re trying to do, for example, a school principal or someone you might know in local public office, Don;t bug them for jobs, specifically, but just drop the information on them that you’re working to re-enter the workforce, in case they hear of anything. Be ready to list a few sample jobs you would take but stress that it’s open-ended; most important is you want to be working again. </p>
<p>The best job interviews I’ve ever had have been when there is NO job available, but I just went in to talk to somebody at the head of the organization (such as school principal) to say, “I know you don’t have a position right now, but I’m looking; if you DID have a position, what kinds of skills do you look for, in general…” Just make an appointment and talk it up; that’s networking and it can pay off at a later time if you leave a resume anyway.</p>
<p>Georgemma,</p>
<p>I have a business idea for you if you live in an area with companies
that bring in internationals:</p>
<p>As you know, it can be tough to live overseas. In fact, many international
placements fail, or are not optimally successful because the spouses are
isolated and unhappy, and the children have a tough time getting acclimated.
I have a friend that started a very successful business solving this
problem for corporate clients.</p>
<p>Because you have the experience and languages, I believe you could be
successful at this, too. If you are interested, I will explain more.</p>
<p>Georgemma, first of all, don’t change even one strand of your hair unless YOU want to do so for YOU, not to fit what someone thinks is needed in some job somewhere. Second, you may be an employer’s dream - you have no carry-over stress from a prior poor employment fit; no preconceived ideas, no workplace political baggage, etc. And as far as your skills, you probably have far more to offer than you think you do. PM me your CV when it’s done, regardless of the condition it’s in or who else may have laughted at it…</p>
<p>Thank you, one and all. I am touched and humbled by the responses and the time that you took to respond. I called someone last night who was encouraging and upbeat, and that helped. I put my name on the sub/tutor list of my children’s school last week, which was what several of you suggested. I have worked there in the past for the French teachers and hope that I don’t need a teaching certificate. I am also going to take a writing workshop later this month at a nonprofit organization and try to make a few contacts. A friend who writes quite well and is a lawyer at a large firm tells me that he is constantly appalled by the lack of writing skills of his associates and clients. Maybe this could lead somewhere. A relocation firm would be perfect, and I will e-mail geomom. Thank you, latetoschool, for your offer to read my CV. veryhappy, thank you for suggesting that I look on amazon for some books, and thank you for your cyber support. I will let you all know what develops.</p>
<p>Same here, Georgemma, I’d be glad to look at your resume. </p>
<p>Some thoughts–what do you love to do? That can be your driving force in career selection, rather than trying to brain out ‘what’s available’ or shoehorning your work skills into something.</p>
<p>Do you enjoy writing? Reading? Talking to people? Helping others solve their problems? Dealing with young children? Teens? Working with your hands? Doing something creative? </p>
<p>Thinking about a work environment–does the idea of working as a team with other adults get you excited? Or, are you more of a loner? Do you like to be in charge of people? Or, would you rather just do a job independently?</p>
<p>These are all good questions to ask yourself. Why not find out what you <em>like</em> to do before doing all the legwork re: researching the market, etc. etc. </p>
<p>You should be happy. You can find something you really enjoy.</p>
<p>Thank you very much, Jolynne; I really appreciate the offer and the questions. I am especially grateful for the last two sentences.</p>
<p>georgemma,</p>
<p>I started a thread somewhat similar to yours a few months ago. My husband’s last 2 job transfers had forced me to leave jobs; one that I loved, one that I was glad to leave! But anyway, we were pretty new to our area and I could not find a job that I liked. I had one for a few months after we first moved and it was making me miserable. I quit that job without having another lined up which was a pretty gutsy/scary move for me. I spent the next several weeks/months trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I emailed with many helpful people from this forum and eventually found something that I like. But it did not happen quickly or easily. And I still don’t know if I’ll stick with what I’m doing forever. I may open my own business eventually----what I’m doing now would actually be great experience for doing that down the road. </p>
<p>Sorry to hear that you are not getting much support at home. That sucks! </p>
<p>BTW, on the gray hair issue…some people look great with gray hair and some people don’t. My mom went gray very young but refuses to color her hair. She has almost no wrinkles so if she did color she would look great, IMO. But I agree with the previous poster who said to do it only if you want to. Just sayin’ …you might really like it and wonder why you waited so long :)</p>