<p>I expect my kids have already done things that are “cringeworthy and moronic” that I just don’t know about. I do hope they never do anything that degrades or hurts someone else.</p>
<p>Anyone can be moronic, but mean is a different subject. No, I don’t think my kids would participate in something that reflects a “mean” view towards others. I’ll stake my parenting chops on that.</p>
<p>And even when kids do, it takes a certain level of cluelessness to post it all over Facebook. Not all kids do, frankly. Some really do have more sense.</p>
<p>Embarrassing pictures from college? Sure. I’ve run around naked, worn crazy costumes, drank “scorpion bowls,” etc. If I had the opportunity to go back and change the decisions I made, I wouldn’t – it was a whole lot of harmless fun.</p>
<p>Pictures I would be ASHAMED of? No, none. And I think these students may be ashamed when they gain a few years’ perspective.</p>
<p>But, do you really think these kids at Santa Clara saw what they were doing as mean or hurtful? Can you see them in their dorm rooms thinking - I’m going out to degrade someone tonight? Or do you think they just went to a dress up party - not really thinking about anything other than partying?</p>
<p>Just as girls who dress up in “dirty nurse” outfits are not thinking about the degradation of women. </p>
<p>Maybe I just think kids make mistakes. </p>
<p>I’m sure that now, after being written up in the school newspaper, they are slapping themselves on the head and going, “Geesh, how could I have ever gotten involved in something like this.”</p>
<p>I agree that enlightment comes w/ maturity - - so, when D1 recently engaged in cringeworthy conduct and was caught, she had to suffer the consequences (imposed by her sch, not by me). </p>
<p>And, when she recently complained about how badly she had been treated, I suggeste that, instead of wallowing in self-pity, she should thank her lucky stars that there wasn’t a worse outcome.</p>
<p>Kids are free to engage in offense (not just embarassing) behavior - - but they must be prepared to accept the consequences.</p>
<p>And garland, just be sure that your kid knows that it doesn’t have to be them to post the pictures. Anybody with a camera at any social event can post pictures. Your kid could just innocently have their pic taken and the next day it is on the internet. There are no release forms.</p>
<p>Such is modern technology.</p>
<p>ag54–my kids would know exactly what I’m going to say here:</p>
<p>It’s not enough not to mean to; you have to mean not to.</p>
<p>This was the mantra they grew up hearing since they were little.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, I would be ashamed if there were pictures floating around of me running around naked. That’s not something I ever did. </p>
<p>But, that’s just me.</p>
<p>Maybe the first group of students was clueless - - but now, after articles about the Gheto Fab, un-PC and other parties, I think the kids are all on notice. Does one really have to be told not to dress up in blackface?</p>
<p>AG; they’re aware of that, but they pick their friends, and their circumstances.</p>
<p>I’m sure their are pictures wondering around the web from the Queer Prom (which everyone attends) at Wes (I’ve seen them myself), but D can live with that. Gender bending at its finest, with no one a target. Nothing to be embarrassed about.</p>
<p>So are you saying that your child would never do or has never done anything that you would not approve of? </p>
<p>If that is so, then hats off to you!</p>
<p>And if it’s not, then at any time, a picture could be taken and posted on facebook or myspace that could prove to be embarrassing, maybe not to them, but to you.</p>
<p>Their lives are theirs. Beyond hurting others, which I don’t believe they would do, I am not sure i can figure out what they might do that would possibly embarrass me and has a chance of being photographed. I’m really not sure i can think of something, but of course, this exercise is limited by my imagination! :)</p>
<p>crossposting - </p>
<p>That Queer Prom could cause a public relations incident if a gay rights group got ahold of the pictures and said that by dressing in a gender bending way, it is insensitive to those who are inclined to be cross dressers or homosexual. Even calling it a “Queer Prom” could be said to be insensitive.</p>
<p>They did away with the gender bending pep rally at our hs for just that reason.</p>
<p>I don’t think any of our kids intentionally set out to hurt anyone (ok, maybe some “mean girls” do). But in the case of the Queer Prom, do you think your child thought about the fact that there are cross dressers and homosexuals who have been living with the stigma of their lifestyle, and to be parodied at a social function is insensitive to their experience? I’m sure they didn’t. They just thought it would be fun to cross dress and have a dance.</p>
<p>It probably won’t be until they are older and wiser that they see that “parties” such as the one mentioned above can hurt people’s feelings.</p>
<p>Except the Queer groups run it, not as a chance for people to dress like GLBT stereotypes, but to get everyone to question their assertions about who they are, what they are, etc, and bend in all kinds of directions.</p>
<p>Plus, ''queer" in the current parlance does not mean gay.</p>
<p>Ok you got me. But, as you can see, looked out from the “outside” my perception was that it was a “Queer Party” as in gay or homosexual. A few pictures on facebook of a guy dressed as a girl, make up and all, with the caption “Queer Prom” could set a blaze going in the press. They often won’t wait for explanations - like someone mentioned that one of the guys who gave the party that started this whole thread is Mexican American. He probably wasn’t insulted that people came to his “south of the border” party dressed as Mexicans, he planned the party.</p>
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<p>That’s an interesting statement: for me–beyond hurting others–I can think of about a dozen things I would be mortified to see my kid doing in a picture on facebook.</p>
<p>ag - In one news report, it was alleged but not substantiated that one of the party hosts was part Mexican American. So? If true and I’m not sure it is…that makes this person even more pathetic. </p>
<p>Do you not understand that what these kids did was not just mock an ethnic group, but also those who are poor, disadvantaged and desperate? How in the world to you find humor in the fact that some people can never hope for more than anything than struggle and hardship? From their comfortable, private college where there is time and money for leisurely activities like ‘south of the border’ parties, the sentiment expressed by these kids that ‘it’s funny to be poor, it’s funny to not have options’ is absolutely nauseating.</p>
<p>My children may do things that show poor judgement…they are not perfect. But I would hope when they do, the only ones they hurt are themselves. THAT is a life lesson.</p>
<p>I cringe every time I see my S with his unkempt hair flying in all directions! Unfortunately, he lives close enough for me to bump into him fairly often. Unfortunately, he lives far enough for me not to be able to drag him to the barber when need arises.
But doing something hurtful to others? No, I don’t think so.</p>
<p>HH, the key words are “what they might do”.</p>
<p>And when you block quote me, it would be clearer if you didn’t edit first. since you changed the meaning and then questioned it.</p>
<p>heres the quote you edited:
</p>
<p>“bold” is what you left out.</p>