Not being "special" in a special's world.

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>*I know this probably isn’t the best place to ask this question, as probably like 95%+ of the CC’ers here have probably accomplished something amazing, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to ask. *</p>

<p>I go to a college prep school (where they force us to take AP and honor classes all four years), and I’m surrounded by people who have accomplished greatness. This is espsically bad on my debate team as every time we go to a tournament I have to listen to people talk about all the great things they’ve done, like go to national conventions, National Merit Finalist, etc. Then there is me, I’ve literally done nothing major. </p>

<p>For example, my debate team just went to districts (national qualifying tournament) this week. Last year I did great and made it to semifinals in an event. This year however I got out ON THE FIRST ROUND! There is one person still left, and I’m pretty sure she is going to make it to nationals. </p>

<p>I’m a senior right now, and the only thing is left is regionals and state, there is nothing left for me to do that can even be in comparison to her or the others. </p>

<p>It even seems like those who haven’t done something great, and are poor students, have something about them that makes them stand out, and be remembered, and are completely happy with being where they are. I feel like after I graduate I’m just going to be one of those students who NO ONE remembers, and that bugs me a lot…I feel like I will never accomplish anything great. </p>

<p>So I guess what I’m asking is, how do I be happy not being “special” when everyone around me has accomplished something great, or has something special about them?</p>

2

<p>Remember that 98% of the rest of high schoolers are not CC equivalent students, and you worked hard yourself anyway even though by your standards it isn’t “major.” </p>

<p>If you can’t accept that, I think college will be a hell of a lot harder.</p>

3

<p>I wouldn’t consider that many achieve “greatness” by the time they graduate high school. Sure, some people are accomplished but few are great at this age.
The problem comes from comparing yourself to other people. It’s hard not to on a board that focuses on GPA, test scores, and EC’s. You are you, and you know all your good points and all your faults. If you look at someone else, you only see something they have done, but you don’t know everything about them.
I think everyone has the potential for “greatness” as long as they are great at being who they are meant to be. Soon, you will be going to college. You can be a great student, room mate and friend. You can do volunteer work. You can make a difference in the world on any scale- academic achievement, any other talent, and simply by working on being a good person. You don’t know how many lives you will touch over the years. Maybe it will be on a professional scale, and maybe you will be a great parent, spouse or neighbor when you are older.
Make college about discovering how you can be the best you can be in life. High school is only a small part of it. Make the best yet to come.</p>

4

<p>“I feel like after I graduate I’m just going to be one of those students who NO ONE remembers”</p>

<p>The vast majority of people are fairly average and aren’t remembered by random strangers (even some world leaders and Nobel laureates are fairly unknown) but you will be remembered by the people closest to you and really that’s all that matters.
The ones who are remembered tend to be the most vocal but not necessarily the most accomplished.</p>

<p>“I know this probably isn’t the best place to ask this question, as probably like 95%+ of the CC’ers here have probably accomplished something amazing, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to ask.”</p>

<p>Lol, definitely not. I’ve never won an award, other than maybe National Merit something-or-other, but that’s just from a test score.</p>

5

<p>Just to make it better…I just got rejected from one of my top choice schools.</p>

6

<p>“I feel like after I graduate I’m just going to be one of those students who NO ONE remembers”</p>

<p>I beg to differ. In the end, you only look after yourself, your family and your closet friends.
They will remember you. Those kids that made straight A’s? Few people remember them. </p>

<p>As for the “special”, more than like 60% of the US population did less than what you accomplished. Everyone is special and unique. Things make us stand out from others. Our true purpose is not to look at others journey but to write our chapters as we go alone.</p>

7

<p>One of the most important lessons to learn is that life is NOT a competition. No matter how high your level of achievement, there will ALWAYS be people “better” than you on some scale or another. You need to learn to stop measuring your own self worth by reference to others’ accomplishments.</p>

8

<p>I rolled my eyes when I read this…not because this annoyed me, but because I actually.recently wrote an essay about rewarding mediocrity and what it means to be special in school, sports, the arts, or in just making a difference, and I think you’re way off.</p>

<p>Why should you give a crap about whether or not these kids will remember you 20 years from now? Chances are, they’ll be in the same boat as you if the future, working a job/maried with kids/going for the American dream…the chance that all these people will be famous/making a huge difference is very small. Twenty years from now, whose going to care about who was “class president” or who “led the football team to the state finals” or “was ranked #1”?</p>

<p>People that can’t seem to stop reliving the glory days, are the ones who have nothing to look forward to in their current life. Stop worrying about who’ll remember you, and worry about what you want to do with your life to make it memorable for you. Cause people can only Tell their HS Stories so many times, before it begins to look like they’re living in the past</p>

9

<p>Everyone pretty much covered everything, but I saw this thread and got really mad – not at you (I completely understand and empathize with how you feel), but at this insane competitive academic culture that we have created. I used to be like you (and in some respects, maybe I still am)… until I realized that I’m 16. From your profile, I see that you’re 17. We have our whole lives ahead of us to do amazing, memorable things. The people you see around you who are winning debate tournaments and getting into their top colleges have peaked. In ten years, no one will remember or care about how high of a GPA they had or which national title they obtained or what college they got into. </p>

<p>I’m not saying this just to you, I’m saying this to the entire CC community. Your SAT score doesn’t define future success. Your high school achievements don’t define future success. Which college you get into doesn’t define future success. The compassion and kindness you have for other people, the contributions you make to your community, the impact you have on your friends and family – those are the things that matter, and those are the things people will remember you for. So how about we all try focusing on those things instead of superficial things like our SAT scores… sheesh.</p>

<p>Sorry OP, I’m not trying to be mean, but I’m sure you understand my frustration.</p>

10

<p>Don’t compare yourself to other people. Do what makes you happy. What you consider “great” accomplishments now aren’t going to mean much in a few years. As long as you enjoyed doing what you’re doing, you shouldn’t be worried about a lack of achieving something “special.” </p>

<p>You have so many accomplishments ahead of you in life that there’s no point in worrying what other people have done up to this point.</p>

11

<p>I don’t know if you’re familiar with J. D. Salinger (of The Catcher in the Rye fame), but he also wrote another, much more sophisticated novel called Franny and Zooey, and your post brings to mind my favorite quote from that book: “Shoot for perfection on your own terms.”
As someone who goes to an 800-person high school that literally has a defunct peanut field hidden behind it if you walk far enough (I actually found this out during AP bio class today), I completely understand what you’re going through. Looking through CC too much last year made me feel kind of…plebeian. Does that even make sense in this context? I think it does- there I was, the girl from Podunk County, Georgia whose highest accolade was winning 4th place in a state essay competition (literary)- surrounded by people who, for all I knew, had been writing winning essays since they were in diapers. Heck, they probably never even wore diapers, with all their brains and whatnot. But I think it really comes down to circumstance. The majority of kids who get to go to national conventions, special summer trips, and have all those fancy-shmancy college application ornaments, are super filthy rich. They are. Granted, there’s always that one-in-a-million kid whose super awesome neurons alone are able to get them places, but that’s usually not the case. You have kids whose whole family trees are planted in Ivy League courtyards and whose parents forget to feed them when they forget to study. Of course, I’m just generalizing here (although those two things are quite abundant in nature, especially in larger, better-ranked high schools), but there’s something important that you need to understand and accept right now. Listen closely:</p>

<p>Your grades do not determine your success.
Your trophies and medals and plaques do not determine your success.
Your extra-curricular activities do not determine your success.
Your college acceptance letters do not determine your success.
Your university does not determine your success.
Your major does not determine your success.</p>

<p>But you determine your success.
I’ve grown quite weary of the “chance me” posts. Seeing kids post their scrupulously groomed high school resumes on the internet for other kids to judge gives me an unbearable bout of malaise- especially when I remember that I used to be one of those kids. How can you determine how worthy someone is of attending a school, or how smart someone is, by a couple of numbers and words written on a page? Those numbers and words are obtained mostly by some sort of motivating force, whether that be an innate determination to succeed or plain old pushy parents. Intelligence is surely a factor, but probably a very small factor. And a resume full of glittering achievements certainly doesn’t make its author “special,” by any means. Do you think that Ernest Hemingway had a good resume? He was getting bloodied up driving ambulances somewhere way the hell off in Europe during WWI, and when that was all said and done, he halfway starved to death in Paris because he wanted to be a writer and he liked spending all his money on expensive aperitifs in outdoor cafes.
And look where old Hemingway ended up. You don’t have to get your name printed on a certificate or called out at some pretentious ceremony to be considered “special,” whatever that means, anyways. You become special when you decide to do something special with your life. Special is whatever you want it to be, whatever makes life worth waking up for each morning.
You can’t measure special on a 200 to 800 scale when there are an infinite amount of numbers out there.</p>

12

<p>This is just high school. Right now, it seems as though all these people getting all these accolades are going to have it all later, and you’ll be left with a mediocre job and crushed dreams, but everyone finds their self at different times.You are not defined by four years of your life. You are not your grades, you are not your achievements, and you are not your college acceptances. For my NHS application this year, someone told me that I should leave it blank to make a statement that I am not defined by my achievements, and I just laughed at the time, but now, I kind of wish I had just to show that I am what I believe, what I do, and what I think, but not what others perceive (which is really what all those awards are about).</p>

<p>Rather than dwell on your high school “failures” (which really aren’t failures), go get your dreams. Go to college, work your tail off, and snatch your dreams from the highest rung possible. Just forget about high school and all the stuff you wish you could have gotten then. Don’t just make the best of the opportunities given to you, make your own opportunities. My favorite film, Lawrence of Arabia, said “Truly for some men, nothing is written.” For me, this is really powerful because people like to say that you should just let life take you. You’re just another person in a mass ocean of humans. Don’t be. Don’t be just another. Write your own history. Make your own destiny. Go get it.</p>

13

<p>Wow, as a parent, I’m impressed with these posts from young people. You are all insightful and awesome. It’s important to make the best of the gifts you’ve been given, and that includes doing your best in school, but, as the people who have posted here state, it’s way more as well.
When you get to the college that chooses you, and you accept it, believe in your heart that it is the right place for you, after all, you were selected to go there. Go, and be the best you can be. Help other people, work hard, be a great friend, son or daughter, and sibling.</p>

14

<p>People’s high school accomplishments aren’t worthless - to me they show potential even if they don’t mean anything by themselves, and I think the conclusion that someone has “peaked” in life just because they get a lot of awards in high school is kind of weird. </p>

<p>I’m not saying that not getting awards shows a lack of potential or anything of the kind…people do their best work at different ages, and high school awards in and of themselves don’t matter much after you’ve applied to college. But if someone has worked hard for something in high school, like a test score or award or college acceptance letter, I think it’s insulting to say that those mean nothing. I understand that it’s the work that had meaning and not the accomplishment by itself, but hard work should show some results.</p>

15

<p>Define your own success. </p>

<p>Yes, somebody may be special because they have won x, y, or z-- and they have acccomplished something important (though I’m not sure I agree a test score is it). I know plenty of people like that, and I respect all of them tremendously-- they’re intelligent, bright people-- but not all of them are ‘special’ to me. I’m sure they’re special to somebody, and they’re certainly impressive.</p>

<p>But the people I’m going to remember after HS? A really down-to-earth friend who has an impressive capacity to love and cheer people up and is infinitely forgiving and musical. No, she’s never been the star of a show; no, her grades aren’t stellar-- but I’ll remember her far faster than a friend from my old school who placed in ISEF/Siemens/debate nationals. Trust me, I know tons of those people (and quite literally, at least a dozen, if not more). I’m friends with them and was in the same classes as them. But I’m probably going to forget them in a couple of months-- heck, I’ve barely got the names down, and I’m not even two years out yet.</p>

<p>And I don’t buy that you are not ‘special’ to somebody and that one teacher won’t remember you in years and years. I attend a relatively small school/program, and I work with/am in class with all kinds of people, and each of them is special in some way (yes, as cliche’d and trite as that sounds). Many of them have failed a class or gotten Cs and Ds in difficult courses but are trying again despite odds. Many of them are beautiful artists and wonderful people who know how to embrace life. They have accomplished something with their life and are special-- even if you don’t think that they’re ‘special’ by some arbitrary award. Are the people who win those awards special? Oh, absolutely. But that doesn’t define being ‘special’.</p>

<p>Please, don’t get sucked into this metric of comparing grades and stats. Find pride in what you have accomplished, and own it. I’ve yet to win first place in a district competition, much less a state or national one. And yet, I’ve gotten accepted into some wonderful places (with some wonderful money), and I am doing really awesome work with some really awesome people-- and that’s all I can be bothered to be care about.</p>

<p>Getting rejected is hard (God knows, being on CC reminds me of that everyday). But getting hung up on getting rejected is harder. I’ve fallen in love with my ‘safety’ school (seriously, I would go there in a heartbeat). Heck, I’d be okay getting a degree from the button-directional where my program is right now. Everything else is icing. I’ve stopped worrying about what my resume says (and if one more person tells me that I should do x for resume reasons, I’ll scream). But I am taking classes from people I respect tremendously, love my job, and feel like I’m making a difference in the small campus community I’m on-- I’ll take that.</p>

<p>(I’m well aware I sound like I’m about to break out in song with all the butterflies around me and flowers in my hair. If you knew me IRL, you’d find me being encouraging ridiculous-- but this is something I’ve come to realize in the past two years, and I hope you do too.)</p>

16

<p>What’s that quote that says everyone is happy until they start comparing themselves to other people?</p>

<p>^That. That is my point.</p>

17

<p>**Thank you everybody. I was lost without meaning, I honestly didn’t know what to do with my life when I posted this. However, after reading all the insightful, nice, and just pure AWESOME replies you all have been kind enough to type up, I have done some self evaluation, and I see you are all right. I define who I am, no one else does. **</p>

18

<p>Don’t compare yourself to others. The special kids are just posers or have their parents force them to be special. Be glad.</p>

19

<p>^ I don’t agree with that either. I think that the truly successful kids aren’t ones who are ‘posing’ or who are doing it out of parental pressure-- sure, that may be a contributing factor, but like halyconheather was arguing, the ‘special’ kids shouldn’t be discounted completely either.</p>

<p>I suppose I would be considered ‘special’ by some… but that truly doesn’t factor into any decision I make to do anything, really. And living your life unhappy for everybody and bitter does you no good either.</p>

20

<p>^On that note, I should clarify that I meant other people’s accomplishments won’t mean much to the OP later on in life, and his lack of special accomplishments won’t mean much. I can’t necessarily speak for anyone else, but I’m guessing they all meant basically the same thing. </p>

<p>Of course people that accomplish things should be proud, and their accomplishments will mean something to them later in life. However, the lasting effect of most of those accomplishments will simply be positive memories, which is something I’m sure the OP will have plenty of. </p>

<p>But yeah, I don’t agree that students who have accomplishments are only posing. Just as it’s ok to be normal, it’s ok to be an “overachiever” too.</p>