<p>Okay. So I am NOT calling my daughter. She is at school and I am actively NOT calling her. This is her first year and she seems very happy and very busy and I am only texting and letting her call me, which she does …But I never in a million years “got” how challenging it would be to not press that speed dial button.</p>
<p>What’s wrong with calling? Sometimes the kids appreciate a phone call.</p>
<p>Oh, I’m not a reasonable caller. I’d call her five times a day! I really miss her.</p>
<p>It is hard to actively not call. I will say that after the first semester, when some of the excitement and newness has worn off, then it’s a little more relaxed and it’s easier to call occasionally and not feel intrusive. </p>
<p>And it’s not that there’s something wrong with calling, but in those first weeks it’s hard to resist calling a lot, and that’s not usually a good idea. I e-mail and text ds, but I don’t call unless I have something to say. He’s not a big phone talker, and I’d rather talk to him when he initiates the call and wants to talk. Those phone calls ‘just to see how you’re doing’ end up being like interviews or interrogations–not conversations.</p>
<p>poetgrl - I hear you. What saved us was IM’ing. We could chat with the kids and get more than a text message. It allows the kids to share what they want to, but they can still do other things, so it’s less intrusive. I found that as soon as I went “available”, the kids often IM’d me, since they felt so in control of when to begin, when they could end, and they were more open about what they would say.</p>
<p>I can totally sympathize, poetgrl – I’m going through the same thing! It’s much harder than it seems like it should be. I just miss talking to him, though.</p>
<p>If I really want to chat I just text the message "call when you can, not urgent. " She knows it is a simple question or catch up time. She can control when and how long we talk by when she returns the call.</p>
<p>“Those phone calls ‘just to see how you’re doing’ end up being like interviews or interrogations–not conversations.”</p>
<p>Truer words have never been spoken! (BTW, can someone teach me how to make a quote appear in one of those yellow boxes? I just can’t figure it out…)</p>
<p>Well, about 5 days after D moved out I got a call. </p>
<p>"Mom, I missed you…, can you order a Blackberry for me ? " ;)</p>
<p>Well, she called while she was doing her laundry…and had a LOT to say. They are on the quarter system and she has been at school for about ten minutes, but she’s already busy and happy and “had to go some people are here.” I’m glad I didn’t call. I’m really glad she isn’t homesick. A blackberry. Cool.</p>