I’ve been torturing myself all this time in college thinking everyone goes through this hell but now that I’ve done some reading on here I realized that most people actually enjoy their college experience.
I’m always avoiding college until the last minute. With registration, buying books, preparing. Even today, it was the first day of class and I missed all my classes because of the stress and dread and not having my parking pass. I wish I could just do things and enjoy college but with anxiety issues, add issues, and now a chronic pain injury added into the mix, I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth it. I used to be great socially and I’m almost back there but that injury really took it out of me for a few years, probably still does with my energy. I have to take adderall to basically do anything, or even have an interest in school otherwise I wait until I’m about to get kicked out. I don’t know if its anxiety or what but I have a web of issues and my school councelor can’t see me for a week.
I hate my school, don’t enjoy any of my classes, don’t seem to make friends (its a commuter school and if you dont live on campus there is no social life) I wish I could live on campus but honestly I can barely afford my tuition. I just wanted it to be over with but my graduation date keeps being delayed and delayed, classes get harder. Everything is just compounded by the injury having to drive myself anywhere is such a pain for me, I wish I lived on campus…
I don’t know why I do this to myself going to a school I dont like for a major I don’t want, just so my parents won’t yell at me. I’m half way done and honestly considering just dropping out and working a blue collar job.
I’m having trouble taking control and making important decisions in relation to overly-stressful college so I’d really like some input on what you guys would do in my situation. I used to just stress out and deal with it but the more I think the more I realize it’s so much harder for me and I just want to give up.
I don’t drink a lot, but when I do I am anxiety free and I feel that zest for life and I want to go tackle my challenges head on, but I seem to have this generalized anxiety all the time that really messes with me. I can’t talk to my parents my mom has depression and my dad is always working. All my close friends didnt go to college and are basically drunks or drug addicts so I’m just wishing I had some way to meet people instead of dealing with everything by myself.
Seems like there are two major issues–one you are questioning the value of your college education for yourself, and you are struggling with even the most basic aspects of thriving in college. Because of the way you are managing things, being rather reactive as opposed to proactive, you are always trying to catch up and you are always stressed as a result. There are ways to correct your approach but it will take a lot of effort on your part to turn it around.
Secondly there are apparently physical and mental health issues that you are struggling with that need to be treated, You have taken the step to see the school counselor, but you may need more comprehensive mental health services (medication and therapy that is coordinated) and it sounds like you need some type of medical care to address this long term injury as well. Your health issues need to be addressed. Also, it is imperative that you DO NOT turn to alcohol to self medicate for your anxiety. This is a slippery slope that can make your life harder rather than easier in the long run.
You have identified these problems in your post, to make things better for yourself you need to take some steps to address them. That’s what people do who thrive. Life is full of highs and lows, problems and problem free periods. You can’t just stand there and cry, you have to figure out how to fix the problem. There are very likely lots of resources at your school to help you with this if you look for them.
Do people thrive in college? Of course, but most of them that do take that proactive approach to their responsibilities, and this is not just a lesson for college but a lesson for life in general. Are they having the time of their lives? Well, many college students will remember these four-six years of their lives fondly and as a special time, but if you have a life that is generally on a positive trajectory as these higher functioning students do, you will have “the time of your lives” experiences many times over, not just those four-six years.
OP are you currently seeing a therapist, or have you in the past? Are you being actively treated for your anxiety? I think that should be your #1 priority right now, as it seems anxiety + ADD + chronic pain are acting as impediments to your general happiness/ability to succeed in school. I would start seeing someone immediately if you’re not already. Someone qualified/skilled in working with patients with anxiety should be able to help you establish new behaviors/coping mechanisms that will make things work better for you.
The thing is, if you’re already halfway through, you might as well finish–it will have long term benefits for your employment and potential salary earnings. The key is making it doable. So: why does your graduation keep getting pushed? Are you not getting the classes you need? Are you failing the ones you’re taking? If the former, when you meet with your counselor, work that out. If the latter, you need to figure out WHY you’re failing and take steps to fix it (office hours, tutoring, etc.). Also, do you HAVE to major in the thing your parents want? If you’re two years in, it means it’s not too late to change your major–majoring in something you actually enjoy and/or that has a lighter workload can make a world of difference. With just a few career-specific exceptions, it really doesn’t matter what you major in in college–just get that BA/BS. If your parents squawk about it, you need to have an honest, adult conversation with them about your mental health.
Also inquire as to any campus resources that might help you with your work–is your anxiety such that you’d qualify for disability services to help you? Getting accommodations can make a huge difference for some students.
College isn’t for everyone, but to me it sounds like the #1 issue here is your anxiety. Take care of yourself, OP, and DON’T USE ALCOHOL AS A CRUTCH. Anxiety + drinking very often are the “cocktail” for alcoholism. Find a good therapist/counselor ASAP. Your school may even have a student health service you can use.