Not motivated in college

College Life
1

I’ve never been a school person. I love to learn new things and it’s actually fun for me, but school has felt like nothing more than a burden on me. I’m at a place where I feel like there has to be more to life than just this. I’m miserable day in and day out and I feel stuck. More like trapped. I’m studying to become a 1st grade teacher and I’m already working in a school as a volunteer but I know this isn’t what I want to do. I would love to become a writer. It’s a dream of mine really but school takes away so much time that I could be using to write.

People have brought it up to me that if I finish school then I’ll have a degree that I can always rely on for money if things with writing doesn’t take off. But others have said that if I focus solely on writing then I can make my dream come true even if I fail because if writing is my only focus then I won’t stop until I see results. But writing doesn’t put food on the table if you haven’t sold a book yet.

I don’t know what to do and being sad every day is taking a tole on my grades. It makes me feel even worse seeing bad grades as if I’m stupid when I know I’m not. I’m just not motivated to do this kind of work and it shows.

2

'Tis the burden of the artist and has always been. It’s tough to reconcile a love of the arts with practicality. A safe, but tough, route would be to put your head down and just get done with your degree with decent grades I.e. GPA >= 3.0. And while you’re doing that, make sacrifices and be disciplined enough to take out some hours of everyday working on writing. There is plenty that can be done if you somehow adjust your mindset and find motivation to write and study for college. Why not double major in English or minor in English?

3
  1. Seek counseling for your depression today.
  2. If your financial situation is such that the tuition is a significant expense, it’s probably too late in the year to drop out and get your tuition back. Instead of focusing on your entire future, why don’t you plan to withdraw at the end of the semester because with no motivation, you aren’t getting your money’s worth and you want to stop the clock. That is an affirmative move. Not knowing your future, know that you may want to return someday if you are so motivated. So in the meantime, try to maximize the value of the tuition money you have already invested so that it isn’t wasted. You can persevere for a few more weeks if you know that it will end and you will be writing by Christmas.
  3. Withdraw at the end of the semester. Then get a day job and write in your free time to your heart’s delight. You will see how it goes.
4

I have had a career as an elementary school teacher and then teaching at the college level in teacher preparation. I have worked with students such as yourself. Teaching is way too hard and way too important to pursue if your heart isn’t in it. It is one of those careers that is only right and only rewarding if it is your passion and your calling. Honestly, its very unfair to your future students to become a teacher if you know the profession is not for you. The problem with staying with it is that it is so specific, it really doesn’t leave you marketable for other jobs. At least not jobs that are especially well paying or fulfilling. Finish the semester and I’m sure some of your classes will transfer toward a future degree. After you finish the semester you can either take classes in another field or take a break from college. Talk to your advisor and/or school counselor to help with those answers.

One option is to take time off from college and work. Use that time to save money, mature and figure out what you really want to go to college for. If in the future you go to college for what you do feel passionate about, I doubt it will feel like a burden.