<p>DG – hang in there! You have to realize that these boards are an outlet for us parents to express occasional frustration. But we want the best for our kids. Unfortunately, we realize that at this stage, they need to discover that for themselves. It can be a painful journey – but it is worth it!</p>
<p>Kels and ivoryk–I had one of those D’s seven years ago. I remember it like yesterday…alas. Especially, the curling up in a ball of tears and not wanting to leave–except it was holding up me, who always made the five hour roundtrip to drop her off, pleading with her to get herself together so we could hit the always horrid highway to get there.</p>
<p>Upshot, though is that she did indeed transfer, and ended up in higher education bliss. I do sympathize, and hope your D’s figure out what their paths should be, one way or another.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, S has made his senior year of college a little too, uh, interesting. Won’t go into the details, but we’re a little stressed out here, too. He’s a great kid, making his life a lot more difficult than it needs to be. I just keep telling myself–he’s a great kid, the nicest person I know, and he’ll figure things out. But, sheesh, we don’t seem to get to follow those golden paths toward success and accomplishment around here that so many CC kids seem to be on. </p>
<p>OTOH, I look around the world and realize that there is a lot more hardship than a rocky college career. It’s a good time of year to remember to count how really blessed I am.</p>
<p>Insurance hasn’t caught up with us yet. We’ll see. Taking it one renewal at a time. If it goes up a lot, he pays or he gets dumped.</p>
<p>kelsmom: I do so sympathize. My D never really liked the college she chose and we have had several unpleasant trips to the airport and many, many tearful phone calls over the years. She has just graduated after 4 1/2 years and is applying to med school. When she returned to college for her last few weeks after this past Thanksgiving she was very sick with a terrible chest cold, cough, etc. I could hear her raspy, rattling breath from the back seat on the drive to the airport and told her she had to go to the dr. the very next day. She had to take the shuttle van back to her college after her flight, which she hates doing (very slow, weird drivers). Lots of delays and her total travel time door to-door was 9 hrs. When she got to her apartment, there was a letter from our only in-state med school (her first choice): rejected without an interview. More tears. Dr. on Mon. AM. Bronchitis. Some holiday trips are better than others.</p>
<p>I have found that my D just uses H and I to totally unload on when she is stressed out. It is not very pleasant but I just take a deep breath and wait for it to pass as it always does. Most of the time a cloaked apology follows a few days later She knows that we will love her and be there no matter what and has no one else she trusts enough to let loose on. I know there is a mature adult in there somewhere…I get a glimpse of her once in a while. I have also found the biggest dust ups to be when someone is leaving for awhile…it just makes the leaving easier. Hang in there.</p>
<p>I think kids, girls especially, experience their own feelings so strongly that they need help in managing them. My D is so miserable and woebegone when she’s sad that I practically start to cry. An hour later (or perhaps even fifteen minutes) she’s fine, but I feel vaguely bummed out. Sigh.</p>
<p>She is becoming very competent. </p>
<p>My new year is so quiet. D is off in London and S went back to Williamstown for winter study. Work doesn’t start again until 1/22. No one here but us chickens. H is busy.</p>
<p>I always long for nothing to do, but then, I hate it!</p>
<p>S didn’t even bother to back his clothes to go back. He took everything in his laundry basket unfolded. Efficient, isn’t he? It all got put in the back of our car, so he has that luxury.</p>
<p>D spent days packing her matched Diane Von Furstenberg luggage (70% off I have to add in her defense) only to get the the airport with overage. Paid overage and massive reshifting of items to meet rules, and voila, off she went.</p>
<p>Have heard from her once (difficulties with phones, internet, she is basically incommunicato for a day or so) just to say she’s there.</p>
<p>It feels strange to have a child on another continent. And quiet. And eerie. Like, “I did have children didn’t I?”</p>
<p>mythmom,
Not sure boys are any easier. Let’s see. DS had to be back by 1/2 to start a new internship. Went back 12/30 and nothing was open and no one around since classes don’t start till 1/7. Called me a bunch of times about being bored, nothing to eat, etc. Of course, went back fairly broke and there was a problem with monies in his account because of the holiday. Emailed me telling me he had ritz crackers for dinner. Sigh.<br>
Started work yesterday, called me ridiculously early because the train hadn’t shown up. Of course, I used my psychic mom powers to make the train appear. LOL. Actually I got on the website and looked up the schedule for the next train.<br>
Anyway, in the next few days it will all straighten out. In the meantime, I’m turning off my cel phone!</p>
<p>“I used my psychic mom powers to make the train appear.”
LOL! I don’t know HOW many times S has called when he has a transportation issue and expects me to “fix” it! This too shall pass[ I hope!]</p>
<p>Well according to my observations (just my small sample of course) girls cry and then get on with it. Boys act helpless and wait to be rescued. (Ha, maybe by a crying girl on a white horse.)</p>
<p>Aww thankyou Kelsmom and ivoryk! </p>
<p>IvoryK, where is your D. considering transfering/ why is she unhappy at her current school? If you do not want to say in this thread you can always PM me.</p>
<p>Oh, bookiemom, I sure do hope your daughter hears some good news from a med school soon! From what I understand about med school, “choice” is usually irrelevant … ANY school that says yes becomes “the” school. It would have been nice for her to have gotten in to her first choice, though, especially since it was probably less expensive than the other options. After years at a place she didn’t really want to be, I hope she ends up in a place that she enjoys (as much as one can enjoy while a med student).</p>
<p>I do like hearing everyone’s stories. Misery loves company … or maybe it’s just that it’s nice to know that our lives are not really as unusual as they sometimes seem. </p>
<p>How exciting for your D to be overseas, mythmom. I never had that experience. I hope both my kids take advantage of study abroad.</p>
<p>As for the psychic mom powers … D called me in November to ask where something was in her dorm room!! The really sad part is, I DID know where it was. S is only 15. As far as he is concerned, I could not possibly know or do anything better than he. I know that will change in 2 or 3 years!</p>
<p>“Well according to my observations (just my small sample of course) girls cry and then get on with it. Boys act helpless and wait to be rescued. (Ha, maybe by a crying girl on a white horse.)”</p>
<p>Do you live at my house, Mythmom? I’d just add, acting helpless is S’s second line of defense. First is refusing to see that there’s something to be fixed.</p>
<p>mythmom, good one! I’ll tell DS to keep his eye out for a crying girl on a white horse. I have thought more than once that if he could get himself a girlfriend maybe it would cut down on the calls to me!</p>