Not sure where this belongs but What would you have done?

Parents Forum
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<p>My D went to college as a BFA ACTING major her freshman yr., she did not get to audition for all her colleges due to finances at the time. She got accepted into both schools she audition for but one for dancing and the orther acting.
She has always loved performing, But here strength was alway her acting. She chose the acting, because school was closer and the other program had not got all funding or appoval yet.
She was told at the acting audition she performed very well personly and she was very excited. Got accepted and got a small part in a play before major auditions for the yr. When audition for the yr took place in the first 2 or 3 wks of 1st semester she got a call back but didn’t get any parts. She was fine with that no big deal. She understands you win some you lose some.
But the problem was after the audition the board told her advisor to tell her she would never be good enough for there shows. (We are talking about 3 wks into school, Really?) I always thought that going to school was to improve? She was very embarrassed and did not know what to do. She had told me some of it but was embarrassed and didnt want to dissappoint me or give up. She said it was quit disheartening to know that no matter how well you performed in class it did not help.
SHe got involed in everything that she could. Backstage, costumed, hair and make up. Cheered everyone on. Help organize and performed in the freshman showcase. (It got rave reviews.)
Then there where the professors that were not on the board but very well known that told her they dont understand why the board would tell her that. She was very talented and they thought it was because she was very intemidating to the them and that she was a natural on stage. She was at a loss. WHo do you believe?? The Board, The head of the Dept who accepted her w/ partial scholarship or the people from the professional world? It made her question herself and her talent all the time.
Here was this person that had performed and excelled in theater, dancing, acting and music. SHe loved All of them.
She had worked with people on braodway and won scholarship. Never been treated like that. She knew how to take constructive criticism always asked what can i do to improve myself and skills.</p>

<p>When she came home she was not the same. Confused, embarrassed and really ashamed like she was the disappointment. And it cost me around $32,000 for this. </p>

<p>She left the school at then end of her yr and came home due to her grandmother becoming ill and the schools treatment made the choice a little easier, Maybe it wasnt the school for her. THey did try to get her to stay and change her major to Set Design.( She doesnt even draw) Even got laughed at in class because of her drawings. But praised for her concept and Ideas. She went to the CC to keep academics up for next yr. Now this yr she auditioned for a school with a BA Acting program. The program is not really a big one. She didnt have a lot of choices for programs beacuse she didnt want to go far from home bacause her grandmother. Her grandmother recently past.( They where extremely close.) She has been a little disappointed in the program. But to keep herself busy she is volunteering in the Film Dept. and has done 3 short film. She is doubting and losing her spirit and drive for perfroming all together. It breaks my heart to see her so sad and settle. </p>

<p>SO any advice for my daughter or me?? What would you do as a parent?? I know they have to figure it out for themself but i am at a loss for her. I have always been honest about everything with her. But she is so emoutional about the subjectt that its hard to talk about it with her now. I know she wants it so bad but is acting like it doesnt bother her anymore. She said she is trying to be maturing about it and what really matters is being able to take care of herself. She is actually trying to get a dual degrees one in Buisness and a BA Acting because she worries her college resume for acting will not even be a resume. I know her heart really isnt in it, But she is trying.
I am looking for college summer acting programs/ musical theatre to try one more time to see If i can get that spark back in her eye. ANy suggestions? I just have wondered if anything like this has ever happen to anyone. It has always bothered me. Just had to get it out. Some how it just didnt seem right.
Thanks
Mother Dreamer.</p>

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<p>I think acting is one of those professions where you need a really, really thick skin, and you can’t get discouraged by rejection. It really doesn’t matter which group she believes, first she needs to believe in herself. There probably isn’t an actor in the world who wasn’t told at one point or another that they were terrible.</p>

<p>If she can’t handle being criticized, maybe, regardless of her talent, professional acting isn’t for her. There are other theater related jobs that would be a more supportive environment to work in.</p>

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<p>Kids do get cut from BFA acting programs but it’s generally not within the first few weeks. The point of going to a BFA program is to hone your skills and the reason these programs require auditions is to select kids who have potential to become actors. Since the college accepted your D and gave her money, it seems that they believed she had potential. It also seems like the college didn’t handle this well. I’m sorry your D is so discouraged.</p>

<p>That being said–acting is a brutal profession and your D needs to develop a thick skin and believe in herself, if she wants to continue along this path. I would suggest that she work with an acting coach before she goes out and auditions for other programs. Also, maybe she can get involved in a community college production or in a local community theater production. That will boost her confidence and give her some more experience.</p>

<p>Also–put your post on the Theater Major forum. There are lots of people there whose kids have gone through BFA acting programs or are currently in such programs. My D is an actor, but went to a small LAC and majored in theater–she didn’t go the BFA route. </p>

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<p>I know that actors have to deal with rejection, but this strikes me as simply bizarre.</p>

<p>Who is this “board”? Why did her advisor pass on this terribly misguided message? Are you sure that that was what they really said? Are you sure they didn’t say something along the lines of “unless you work on X, we will not be able to cast you”? And why, if she was so hopeless, did she get a call back?</p>

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<p>There are quite a few things in your post that really set off tiny alarms about the first program. I have two theatre children in college pursing a BFA and neither have experienced the type of feedback your child did, especially in the first few weeks. I think now, she needs to fall back in love with acting or find another outlet for her passion. Perhaps she needs to look outside her college for opportunities, she probably really does not want to do set design and is settling. It may be time to take a step back and regroup.</p>

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<p>Take a cue from Morales in Chorus Line - “If you want something, go find a better a class. And when you find one, you’ll be an actress.”</p>

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<p>I’m also concerned about the behavior of classmates who laughed at her drawing skills. If that was done in a mean way, then she doesn’t want to be in class with them either. If she’s being hyper-sensitive about not having good drawing skills, then maybe she misinterpreted their behavior, and as others have written above, she needs to give herself the time to learn better ways of accepting criticism. Truly, design concept is what matters. The drafting and execution can be left to others.</p>

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<p>It can be a very cruel and cut throat scene. I don’t know what the exact situation was for the OP’s daughter, but that the first school was not for her is now water under the bridge. I just hope her skin has gotten a lot thicker, because this is a very tough field. </p>

<p>Encourage your daughter to enjoy acting and not to take hits on her performance seriously. See where that leads. I wish I could say it gets better ,but I have a son in the business, and it does not. It’s truly a roller coaster with great highs and lows, and it’s not for most people. </p>

<p>My roommate from college is now on a theater board, acts and produces shows and loves it. But it’s not her main job. I think she is getting the best of both worlds. I think for now, let you DD do this recreationally and see where it leads.</p>