Nothing about college (Wedding Dresses)

Parent Cafe
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<p>Dear friends,</p>

<p>My daughter just called from Philadelphia where she is on break from grad school and where she is planning a summer wedding. Still not sure if it will be this summer or next summer. She is my only daughter, and oldest child, and none of my friends has had a daughter get married as yet. So she calls just now having visited the “low-end” bridal shop, having tried on dresses. (We don’t have anything like that anywhere near our rural TN town.) She wants to consult. She wants to know if a beautiful dress she tried on is out of line as far as cost. We are not wealthy, H and I work in secondary schools, my own wedding dress was not really intended to be a wedding dress and cost about $80.00 in today’s bucks. So, she asks, is $1500 out of line? It was one of the least expensive in the store, and she loves it. So, help! Is that within the realm of what one should expect? I have no earthly idea. Thanks, in advance.</p>

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<p>Oh momofthree - I have only a S and have always hoped I would have a crack at the Mother-of-Bride fun (although I know many consider it a nightmare!) Thanks for giving me the chance. Unfortunately, $1500 is no longer a big number in the bridal gown world: $5000, $8000, $20,000 and more are not unheard of (I don’t know who buys these, but apparently someone does). There definitely are less expensive ones, though. 200 years ago when I was married, I had a friend who could really sew. She gown-shopped with me and then I paid her to copy the one I loved at a huge savings. Is that an option?</p>

<p>The key thing I would say is to establish an overall budget for the whole shmeer. And who will pay how much (her parents, his parents, her, him). Then she can decide if she wants to allocate the $1500 to a dress or not. If it is the tip of the iceberg, it may not work at all. On the other hand, if the food is going to be “home grown”, the location is going to be the beach or a family/friend’s home or a free church hall, etc. etc., there may be funds for that dress.</p>

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<p>Thanks for your response, jmmom! I feel a little better about the dress cost in hearing what you have to say. I’ll be so happy to share this experience with you and you won’t have to pay a thing!! DD did say she had to fill out a questionnaire when she got to the store which asked her to mark the price range she could afford: $1000-$2500, $2500 to $5000, and $5000 to $10,000 and ON UP. </p>

<p>I have very little control over this, but you are wise to say she should get a handle on the total budget. My big concern is that she wants to get married in Swarthmore, that Quaker matchbox where she and fiance met, so from Tennessee I have little understanding of options or contact with the place. I do know that the church (including use of the church, organist and pastor) is $500, and she is hoping to have the reception at the college itself, another cost. The food will be just finger foods, cake and and champagne etc. (wedding at 2:00) and the fuss will be minimal. One Maid of Honor and one Best Man. Her grandmother is still going strong, loves to sew, and can probably make the veil, (though I don’t think the dress is an option for a seamstress) AND I found out GrandM is going to chip in $500 for the dress. So, all things considered so far, perhaps this is not too expensive a dress. I do have a son going who knows where to college next year and that may (or may not) break the bank, depending on how the fin aid offices view the finances of my H and me and my ex H. And another one going the next year. So hard to know. BUT, she is my only daughter, and I hope she will have a day that will be a precious memory.</p>

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<p>momofthree, first of all congratulations on your daughter’s impending marriage! What an exciting time. I was very involved in my niece’s wedding plans last year and I can tell you that it is a stressful but joyous time. I agree 100% with jmmom. Before any plans are made or gowns ordered, you really need to establish an overall budget. $1500 is on the low end of the scale these days for gown costs. It’s crazy! Mine cost $120, back in the dark ages. :slight_smile: </p>

<p>You say you’re not sure if the wedding will be this year or next. One thing you may want to inquire about is the venue for the ceremony and reception. My niece had to go with her third choice because the first two were booked a year and a year and a half in advance! Once a date is settled on, that’s the very first thing you want to do. </p>

<p>Best wishes and enjoy!</p>

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<p>just a thought: JCrew has a simple strapless white gown for $500 online</p>

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<p>my daughter just got a catalog in the mail entitled “windsor” that is full of dresses that would be appropriate for weddings, that are listed at $90. to $500.
The best looking one is about $150</p>

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<p>Wow, thanks so much. The beautiful dress, henceforth called BD, is strapless, so maybe the JCrew would work. I’ll pass that on! And I’ll pass on the windsor catalog idea. Thanks so much frantic and emeraldkity!</p>

<p>Alwaysamom, your suggestions are great. My D wants to get married this coming summer and has tentatively reserved the church. Her wedding delay will only be necessary if the guy her fiance rooms with cannot find another college teaching job!! Little does he know that somebody’s mother is praying hard for him to find a job, maybe along with his own mom.</p>

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<p>Congratualtions on what will be a joyous (even though stressful occasion)</p>

<p>Since she is at Swarthmore, she should come to NYC, take the train up on the weekend. Talk about timing, Filiene’s Basement at Union Square just had this crazy wedding dress sale last friday where thing were marked down 75-80%. I saw it on the news, while it was a bit of a madhouse, people found some great deals. </p>

<p>There will be a lot of places that she can visit :
the flower market
she should go to MJ trimmings if she needs anything for her veil, <a href=“http://www.mjtrim.com/[/url]”>http://www.mjtrim.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;
she should also check out David’s Bridal shw may get a dress at a reasonable cost <a href=“http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridalcollection.jsp?bgf=0[/url]”>http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridalcollection.jsp?bgf=0&lt;/a&gt; , </p>

<p>check out Kleinfelds -Kleinfelds Bridesmaids’ Loft 270 West 38th street , 20th floor. NY NY.10018 212-398-5257.</p>

<p>Check out Verawang Maids- her bridemaid may be able to get a dress for under $300
<a href=“http://www.verawang.com/maids[/url]”>http://www.verawang.com/maids&lt;/a&gt; (My daughter purchased her Prom dress from them last year- she was estatic, the dress was gorgeous) Heck, because you can pick your colors she may be able to find something for herself</p>

<p>in your neck of the woods:</p>

<p>in NYC</p>

<p>Vera Wang Maids
980 Madison Av, New York, NY 10021
(212) 628-9898 </p>

<p>Hope this helps and gives her a jumping off point</p>

<p>Village Bridal</p>

<p>1814 21st Avenue South
Nashville, TN 37212
615-383-8896
Bridal, Maids</p>

<p>B. Hughes</p>

<p>4231 Harding Road
Nashville, TN 37205
615-292-9409
Maids</p>

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<p>momofthree - I had overlooked the “maybe next year” factor. So, just wondering - is it wise to buy the BD now if the wedding might be a year away? Might not her idea of the most BD change if it’s a year away?</p>

<p>P.S. This thread is really giving me my poor forlorn MOS (mother-of-son) wedding fix! Vera Wang links! J Crew strapless for a $ong! All the fun and none of the stress! Sort of like being the grandmother who can send the little darlings home spoiled, full of sugar and all revved up.</p>

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<p>Sybbie, you amaze me as always. A true resource. Thanks for taking the time to look up bridal shops in the Nashville area. I will check them out. She won’t be able to come home from Penn to look with me till her brother graduates from h.s. in late May, sadly, as she is facing Master’s exams and massive papers. I would assume she will need to order this BD pretty soon, no? I will pass on the NYC info. Man, I wish she could have gone to the Filenes’s shop-out . . .she absolutely loves that kind of thing and would have fought her way through with the best of them! What a thrill it must be to live in the big city.</p>

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<p>jmmom, you and I had the same thought on that. I would really like to encourage her to wait to see if the roommate gets a job before she orders the dress. He’s apparently a finalist for two jobs right now. So there is hope!!!</p>

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<p>I don’t know if it still exists but when I got married many years ago, there was a building in NYC where all of the bridal designers and makers had their showrooms. It was possible to go through the entire building (it was like 12 stories) and try on gowns and buy them directly from the manufacturer at greatly reduced rates. If you were skinny and could fit into the showroom samples, you saved even more. Does anyone know if this building still exists? I will see if I can do a search on the internet and turn it up. Since your D. is in Philadelphia, it might be the way to go if it still exists.</p>

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<p>She wears about a size 4 or 6, I think. I wonder if she will have a chance to get to NYC. Surely she would if the wedding were postponed, but I know she doesn’t hope for that. the time crunch is the main problem with the impending exam, but she loves to shop, so I will gladly suggest a trip to look. Thanks, Carolyn, the store sounds to me like a trip to Fairyland.</p>

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<p>Shop around, with proms coming up, there are some beautiful dresses that are white and for a young lady would do very nicely,</p>

<p>check out jessica mclintock (sp?) they have some gorgeous dresses for a few hundred</p>

<p>and while 1500 is not much in the bridal world, for a grad student, I would think she could find something more reasonable…what is the total cost of the wedding, a fancy dancy dress at a modest wedding doesn’t match very well, </p>

<p>before spending $$ on a dress, D needs to do a budget and set priorities- food, location, drinks, flowers, invitations, shoes, hair, bridesmaids, um RING, all kinds of things need to be decided, where is wedding- church, park, beach, hall, where is reception- home, hotel, restaurant, hall, etc</p>

<p>…the dress needs to fit in with all the rest, I had my dress made for $500 from my own design, it was fun, took about three months and so worth it</p>

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<p>Found it: <a href=“http://www.newyorkmetro.com/pages/details/9996.htm[/url]”>http://www.newyorkmetro.com/pages/details/9996.htm&lt;/a&gt; for a review, and here’s the link to the bridal building itself: <a href=“http://www.bridalbuilding.com%5B/url%5D”>www.bridalbuilding.com</a></p>

<p>I remember my Mom and I spent an entire day there going up and down the elevator. It’s the type of place where you should clip some ideas of what you are looking for from the bridal magazines (note the manufacturers - think they are probably listed on the site above) and then go and see what they offer. The showrooms at that time ranged from huge to just small mom and pop type places (that’s where I got my gown). Of course, it might have all changed since then but it sounds like it is still pretty much the same.</p>

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<p>Oh yeah, forgot about the groom- what is he wearing? what is his style, tux, suit, that needs to be considered as well</p>

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<p>ctygirlsmom, you are very clever to have designed your dress. That made it so extraordinary, I know!
The word I have gotten is that the groom is planning to wear a morning suit, and found a place to rent same along with shoes (!!) in the Philly area for $125, which I believe is reasonable. Ironically, he has a great tux for the concerts he plays, but this would be something special.
I think what my D pictures and will create is elegant simplicity. Generally she has really good taste, so I think the BD is not flashy but quite simple. You are right about the expense for a grad student being significant, so I am thankful for the suggestions! She has never been an entitled type so I think she will be open.</p>

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<p>Try </p>

<p><a href=“http://www.bridalbuilding.com/[/url]”>http://www.bridalbuilding.com/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>the Bridal Building
1385 Broadway
NY, NY 212-764-5769</p>

<p>Saturdays by appointment only</p>

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<p>You all are very dear! I have copied and pasted the bridal building website, and it is on its way!</p>

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<p>THis is exciting for you!!! Did you have “the talk” yet ; )</p>

<p>Your D is just so excited and wedding dress shopping is fun!! For my D’s junior prom next year, she wants to wear Betsy Johnston…</p>