Several things that most people can agree on:
- There is no singular path to career success and a determined and talented kid can get there regardless of the school they attend.
- There is a difference amongst reputations, experiences, alumni networks, career opportunities, etc amongst schools. Elite schools do tend to offer more, attract statistically superior kids and as a cumulative result produce more “successful” kids in terms of $ and prestige (if that matters to you).
- For some people the financial decision is paramount because they don’t have the financial flexibility to choose. Thankfully there are great options for these people.
- Some people are financially blessed such that the incremental costs of these decisions are largely irrelevant.
Congratulations as you seemingly have raised a very impressive kid and find yourselves in the enviable position of having adequate resources to be full pay but are questioning whether or not it’s “worth it”. Worth is arbitrary and personal so as others often do I will share my perspective but remove my kids specific narratives because frankly they are irrelevant to your situation.
I think you are confusing “popularity” with most vocal. You typically won’t see a parent whose kid went to an elite school boasting that things turned out great because it simply is expected and or would be obnoxious. I fully appreciate those who went “thrifty” and had it work out but that is hardly a universal experience and ultimately comes down to personal perceptions of success. In my experience, most people regardless of where their kids went to school and their outcomes exercise a degree of humility in the frequency and detail in which they share their kids stories. Consequently, I take with a grain of salt those that seem boastful and whose stories are often repeated.
Personally if confronted with the decision to choose between vacations, ski trips, new cars, etc, I would prefer to allocate financial resources to giving my kid the freedom to choose their academic shot without their having to be concerned about paying for it. I view that as the sort of selflessness that comes with being a parent. I don’t think I could enjoy personal indulgences at the expense of my kid fulfilling their dream.
I don’t think poorly of those that would choose differently. It is highly personal.
I take great pride in the sacrifices and planning we made so that our kids would not have to worry about being forced to choose the lowest cost option. For our family it was the absolute right decision. Thankfully our kids took full advantage of the opportunities they had and have grown into appreciative, independent, and self aware adults who value education and hopefully will instill these values when they have children.
Your kid will undoubtedly be successful regardless of where they attend. As a parent however, I can’t think of a greater gift than being able to offer them the flexibility to choose schools amongst the amazing options they have earned so that they never have to wonder “what if”. Good luck!!