NY Times articles on "Class in America"

<p>So after being gone for 12 days, I’m slowly catching up the newspapers. Yes, I’ll stipulate to being a bit anal but that’s not the point here. (I’ve already read all the LA Times comics, sports, business, and editorial sections. Front page and real estate sections will be dealt with tomorrow. Backed up NYT main sections will be dealt with next week.)</p>

<p>In the NYT for Wednesday when we got back, there was an interesting article, apparently one of a series, on class in America. Reading it struck several chords, some extremely personal, others prompted by three years of reading on this board.</p>

<p>I admit that in my younger years, well into early adulthood, I was something of a naif, resolutely buying into the American class-free mythology of opportunities regardless of class. Silly me. And I really should have known better, for various reasons. But I digress.</p>

<p>Buried in the one article I read were several implications about approaches to going to college, of which there have been many reflections on this board.</p>

<p>Has anyone else read many of the articles? Thoughts?</p>

<p>Class Matters
When Richer Weds Poorer, Money Isn’t the Only Difference
<a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/19/national/class/MARRIAGE-FINAL.html?pagewanted=1&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1116734716-BLnmxEesLJpvY+vuqqbNaQ[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/19/national/class/MARRIAGE-FINAL.html?pagewanted=1&adxnnl=1&adxnnlx=1116734716-BLnmxEesLJpvY+vuqqbNaQ&lt;/a&gt;
This article raises interesting Issues.</p>

<p>It also casts the Advice of Brown’s Sidney Frank in a different light.
(Frank recently donated over $100 million to Brown and targeted it to low income student aid.)

<a href=“http://www.brownalumnimagazine.com/storyDetail.cfm?ID=2464[/url]”>http://www.brownalumnimagazine.com/storyDetail.cfm?ID=2464&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I did read this article and I love the fact that it states “choose your parents well”.(lol)</p>

<p>I thought the articles this past week were fascinating. Reminded me of my NYC days where I really began to notice the importance of someone’s background. There were so many people who were unhappy with their roots, and did everything they could to reinvent themselves. (some even changed their last names and religions to “fit in”) I’d never met such ambitious social climbers in my life. Alot of pretention and looking side to side to make sure they were doing “the right thing”…</p>

<p>Also brought to mind a conversation I had with my husband’s uncle a couple of years ago. He was so proud to be one of the first Irish Catholics admitted to an uber-wasp-o country club on Philadelphia’s Main Line. I didn’t say anything at the time, but couldn’t help wondering why he’d want to be a member of a club who’s members felt that way about his kind. He was proud of his ability to assimilate, but I wondered why.</p>

<p>Here is an excerpt from the article. (Luckily, I didn’t have to pay a subscription for this!)</p>

<p>**
Class Matters
When Richer Weds Poorer, Money Isn’t the Only Difference</p>

<p>By TAMAR LEWIN
Published: May 19, 2005
NORTHFIELD, Mass. - When Dan Croteau met Cate Woolner six years ago, he was selling cars at the Keene, N.H., Mitsubishi lot and she was pretending to be a customer, test driving a black Montero while she and her 11-year-old son, Jonah, waited for their car to be serviced.</p>

<p>Where Do You Fit In?
The test drive lasted an hour and a half. Jonah got to see how the vehicle performed in off-road mud puddles. And Mr. Croteau and Ms. Woolner hit it off so well that she later sent him a note, suggesting that if he was not involved with someone, not a Republican and not an alien life form, maybe they could meet for coffee. Mr. Croteau dithered about the propriety of dating a customer, but when he finally responded, they talked on the phone from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m.</p>

<p>They had a lot in common. Each had two failed marriages and two children. Both love dancing, motorcycles, Bob Dylan, bad puns, liberal politics and National Public Radio. </p>

<p>But when they began dating, they found differences, too. The religious difference - he is Roman Catholic, she is Jewish - posed no problem. The real gap between them, both say, is more subtle: Mr. Croteau comes from the working class, and Ms. Woolner from money.</p>

<p>Mr. Croteau, who will be 50 in June, grew up in Keene, an old mill town in southern New Hampshire. His father was a factory worker whose education ended at the eighth grade; his mother had some factory jobs, too. Mr. Croteau had a difficult childhood and quit school at 16. He then left home, joined the Navy and drifted through a long series of jobs without finding any real calling. He married his pregnant 19-year-old girlfriend and had two daughters, Lael and Maggie, by the time he was 24.</p>

<p>“I was raised in a family where my grandma lived next door, my uncles lived on the next road over, my dad’s two brothers lived next to each other, and I pretty much played with my cousins,” he said. “The whole concept of life was that you should try to get a good job in the factory. My mother tried to encourage me. She’d say, ‘Dan’s bright; ask him a question.’ But if I’d said I wanted to go to college, it would have been like saying I wanted to grow gills and breathe underwater.”</p>

<p>He always felt that the rich people in town, “the ones with their names on the buildings,” as he put it, lived in another world.</p>

<p>Ms. Woolner, 54, comes from that other world. The daughter of a doctor and a dancer, she grew up in a comfortable home in Hartsdale, N.Y., with the summer camps, vacations and college education that wealthy Westchester County families can take for granted. She was always uncomfortable with her money; when she came into a modest inheritance at 21, she ignored the monthly bank statements for several years, until she learned to channel her unease into philanthropy benefiting social causes. She was in her mid-30’s and married to a psychotherapist when Isaac and Jonah were born.</p>

<p>“My mother’s father had a Rolls-Royce and a butler and a second home in Florida,” Ms. Woolner said, “and from as far back as I can remember, I was always aware that I had more than other people, and I was uncomfortable about it because it didn’t feel fair. When I was little, what I fixated on with my girlfriends was how I had more pajamas than they did. So when I’d go to birthday sleepovers, I’d always take them a pair of pajamas as a present.” </p>

<p>Marriages that cross class boundaries may not present as obvious a set of challenges as those that cross the lines of race or nationality. But in a quiet way, people who marry across class lines are also moving outside their comfort zones, into the uncharted territory of partners with a different level of wealth and education, and often, a different set of assumptions about things like manners, food, child-rearing, gift-giving and how to spend vacations. In cross-class marriages, one partner will usually have more money, more options and, almost inevitably, more power in the relationship.</p>

<p>…
**</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/19/national/class/MARRIAGE-FINAL.html?incamp=article_popular[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/19/national/class/MARRIAGE-FINAL.html?incamp=article_popular&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Another article excerpt…</p>

<p>**Up From the Holler: Living in Two Worlds, at Home in Neither</p>

<p>By TAMAR LEWIN
Published: May 19, 2005
PIKEVILLE, Ky. - Della Mae Justice stands before the jury in the Pike County Courthouse, arguing that her client’s land in Greasy Creek Hollow was illegally grabbed when the neighbors expanded their cemetery behind her home. </p>

<p>Class Matters: Della’s Story</p>

<p>Where Do You Fit In?
With her soft Appalachian accent, Ms. Justice leaves no doubt that she is a local girl, steeped in the culture of the old family cemeteries that dot the mountains here in East Kentucky. “I grew up in a holler, I surely did,” she tells jurors as she lays out the boundary conflict.</p>

<p>Ms. Justice is, indeed, a product of the Appalachian coal-mining country where lush mountains flank rust-colored creeks, the hollows rising so steeply that there is barely room for a house on either side of the creeks. Her family was poor, living for several years in a house without indoor plumbing. Her father was absent; her older half-brother sometimes had to hunt squirrels for the family to eat. Her mother married again when Della was 9. But the stepfather, a truck driver, was frequently on the road, and her mother, who was mentally ill, often needed the young Della to care for her. </p>

<p>Ms. Justice was always hungry for a taste of the world beyond the mountains. Right after high school, she left Pike County, making her way through college and law school, spending time in France, Scotland and Ireland, and beginning a high-powered legal career. In just a few years she moved up the ladder from rural poverty to the high-achieving circles of the middle class.</p>

<p>Now, at 34, she is back home. But her journey has transformed her so thoroughly that she no longer fits in easily. Her change in status has left Ms. Justice a little off balance, seeing the world from two vantage points at the same time: the one she grew up in and the one she occupies now.</p>

<p>Far more than people who remain in the social class they are born to, surrounded by others of the same background, Ms. Justice is sensitive to the cultural significance of the cars people drive, the food they serve at parties, where they go on vacation - all the little clues that indicate social status. By every conventional measure, Ms. Justice is now solidly middle class, but she is still trying to learn how to feel middle class. Almost every time she expresses an idea, or explains herself, she checks whether she is being understood, asking, “Does that make sense?”</p>

<p>“I think class is everything, I really do,” she said recently. “When you’re poor and from a low socioeconomic group, you don’t have a lot of choices in life. To me, being from an upper class is all about confidence. It’s knowing you have choices, knowing you set the standards, knowing you have connections.”</p>

<p>Broken Ties</p>

<p>In Pikeville, the site of the Hatfield-McCoy feud (Ms. Justice is a Hatfield), memories are long and family roots mean a lot. Despite her success, Ms. Justice worries about what people might remember about her, especially about the time when she was 15 and her life with her mother and stepfather imploded in violence, sending her into foster care for a wretched nine months.</p>

<p>“I was always in the lowest socioeconomic group,” she said, “but foster care ratcheted it down another notch. I hate that period of my life, when for nine months I was a child with no family.”</p>

<p>While she was in foster care, Ms. Justice lived in one end of a double-wide trailer, with the foster family on the other end. She slept alongside another foster child, who wet the bed, and every morning she chose her clothes from a box of hand-me-downs. She was finally rescued when her father heard about her situation and called his nephew, Joe Justice.</p>

<p>Joe Justice was 35 years older than Della, a successful lawyer who lived in the other Pikeville, one of the well-to-do neighborhoods on the mountain ridges. He and his wife, Virginia, had just built a four-bedroom contemporary home, complete with a swimming pool, on Cedar Gap Ridge.</p>

<p>Joe Justice had never even met his cousin until he saw her in the trailer, but afterward he told his wife that it was “abhorrent” for a close relative to be in foster care. While poverty is common around Pikeville, foster care is something much worse: a sundering of the family ties that count for so much. So Joe and Virginia Justice took Della Mae in. She changed schools, changed address - changed worlds, in effect - and moved into an octagonal bedroom downstairs from the Justices’ 2 year-old son.</p>

<p>“The shock of going to live in wealth, with Joe and Virginia, it was like Little Orphan Annie going to live with the Rockefellers,” Ms. Justice said. “It was not easy. I was shy and socially inept. For the first time, I could have had the right clothes, but I didn’t have any idea what the right clothes were. I didn’t know much about the world, and I was always afraid of making a wrong move. When we had a school trip for chorus, we went to a restaurant. I ordered a club sandwich, but when it came with those toothpicks on either end, I didn’t know how to eat it, so I just sat there, staring at it and starving, and said I didn’t feel well.”</p>

<p>Joe and Virginia Justice worried about Della Mae’s social unease and her failure to mingle with other young people in their church. But they quickly sensed her intelligence and encouraged her to attend Berea College, a small liberal arts institution in Kentucky that accepts students only from low-income families. Tuition is free and everybody works. For Ms. Justice, as for many other Berea students, the experience of being one among many poor people, all academically capable and encouraged to pursue big dreams, was life-altering.</p>

<p>It was at Berea that Ms. Justice met the man who became her husband, Troy Price, the son of a tobacco farmer with a sixth-grade education. They married after graduation, and when Ms. Justice won a fellowship, the couple went to Europe for a year of independent travel and study. When Ms. Justice won a scholarship to the University of Kentucky law school in Lexington, Mr. Price went with her, to graduate school in family studies.</p>

<p>After graduating fifth in her law school class, Ms. Justice clerked for a federal judge, then joined Lexington’s largest law firm, where she put in long hours in hopes of making partner. She and her husband bought a townhouse, took trips, ate in restaurants almost every night and spent many Sunday afternoons at real estate open houses in Lexington’s elegant older neighborhoods. By all appearances, they were on the fast track. </p>

<p>But Ms. Justice still felt like an outsider. Her co-editors on the law review, her fellow clerks at the court and her colleagues at the law firm all seemed to have a universe of information that had passed her by. She saw it in matters big and small - the casual references, to Che Guevara or Mount Vesuvius, that meant nothing to her; the food at dinner parties that she would not eat because it looked raw in the middle.</p>

<p>“I couldn’t play Trivial Pursuit, because I had no general knowledge of the world,” she said. “And while I knew East Kentucky, they all knew a whole lot about Massachusetts and the Northeast. They all knew who was important, whose father was a federal judge. They never doubted that they had the right thing to say. They never worried about anything.”</p>

<p>Most of all, they all had connections that fed into a huge web of people with power. “Somehow, they all just knew each other,” she said.</p>

<p>…</p>

<p>**</p>

<p><a href=“http://nytimes.com/2005/05/19/national/class/DELLA-FINAL.html?pagewanted=all[/url]”>http://nytimes.com/2005/05/19/national/class/DELLA-FINAL.html?pagewanted=all&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>These are the other two articles…</p>

<p>Class Matters: Life at the Top in America Isn’t Just Better, It’s Longer (May 16, 2005)
Three New Yorkers with little in common faced a single, common threat. But in the months that followed their heart attacks, their experiences diverged.</p>

<p>**Jean G. Miele’s heart attack happened on a sidewalk in Midtown Manhattan last May. He was walking back to work along Third Avenue with two colleagues after a several-hundred-dollar sushi lunch. There was the distant rumble of heartburn, the ominous tingle of perspiration. Then Mr. Miele, an architect, collapsed onto a concrete planter in a cold sweat.</p>

<p>Will L. Wilson’s heart attack came four days earlier in the bedroom of his brownstone in Bedford-Stuyvesant in Brooklyn. He had been regaling his fianc</p>

<p>Class Matters: Shadowy Lines That Still Divide (May 15, 2005) </p>

<p>**
There was a time when Americans thought they understood class. The upper crust vacationed in Europe and worshiped an Episcopal God. The middle class drove Ford Fairlanes, settled the San Fernando Valley and enlisted as company men. The working class belonged to the A.F.L.-C.I.O., voted Democratic and did not take cruises to the Caribbean.</p>

<p>Today, the country has gone a long way toward an appearance of classlessness. Americans of all sorts are awash in luxuries that would have dazzled their grandparents. Social diversity has erased many of the old markers. It has become harder to read people’s status in the clothes they wear, the cars they drive, the votes they cast, the god they worship, the color of their skin. The contours of class have blurred; some say they have disappeared.</p>

<p>But class is still a powerful force in American life. Over the past three decades, it has come to play a greater, not lesser, role in important ways. At a time when education matters more than ever, success in school remains linked tightly to class. At a time when the country is increasingly integrated racially, the rich are isolating themselves more and more. At a time of extraordinary advances in medicine, class differences in health and lifespan are wide and appear to be widening. </p>

<p>And new research on mobility, the movement of families up and down the economic ladder, shows there is far less of it than economists once thought and less than most people believe. [Click here for more information on income mobility.] In fact, mobility, which once buoyed the working lives of Americans as it rose in the decades after World War II, has lately flattened out or possibly even declined, many researchers say.</p>

<p>Mobility is the promise that lies at the heart of the American dream. It is supposed to take the sting out of the widening gulf between the have-mores and the have-nots. There are poor and rich in the United States, of course, the argument goes; but as long as one can become the other, as long as there is something close to equality of opportunity, the differences between them do not add up to class barriers.</p>

<p>Over the next three weeks, The Times will publish a series of articles on class in America, a dimension of the national experience that tends to go unexamined, if acknowledged at all. With class now seeming more elusive than ever, the articles take stock of its influence in the lives of individuals: a lawyer who rose out of an impoverished Kentucky hollow; an unemployed metal worker in Spokane, Wash., regretting his decision to skip college; a multimillionaire in Nantucket, Mass., musing over the cachet of his 200-foot yacht.</p>

<p>The series does not purport to be all-inclusive or the last word on class. It offers no nifty formulas for pigeonholing people or decoding folkways and manners. Instead, it represents an inquiry into class as Americans encounter it: indistinct, ambiguous, the half-seen hand that upon closer examination holds some Americans down while giving others a boost.</p>

<p>The trends are broad and seemingly contradictory: the blurring of the landscape of class and the simultaneous hardening of certain class lines; the rise in standards of living while most people remain moored in their relative places.</p>

<p>Even as mobility seems to have stagnated, the ranks of the elite are opening. Today, anyone may have a shot at becoming a United States Supreme Court justice or a C.E.O., and there are more and more self-made billionaires. Only 37 members of last year’s Forbes 400, a list of the richest Americans, inherited their wealth, down from almost 200 in the mid-1980’s.</p>

<p>So it appears that while it is easier for a few high achievers to scale the summits of wealth, for many others it has become harder to move up from one economic class to another. Americans are arguably more likely than they were 30 years ago to end up in the class into which they were born.</p>

<p>A paradox lies at the heart of this new American meritocracy. Merit has replaced the old system of inherited privilege, in which parents to the manner born handed down the manor to their children. But merit, it turns out, is at least partly class-based. Parents with money, education and connections cultivate in their children the habits that the meritocracy rewards. When their children then succeed, their success is seen as earned.</p>

<p>…
**</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/15/national/class/OVERVIEW-FINAL.html[/url]”>http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/15/national/class/OVERVIEW-FINAL.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>This isn’t even the super rich who would have had the cars brought to their estate. When I was younger I had a temporary job raking leaves at an estate in upstate New York. Driving off a paved road onto a small side drive behind a stand of trees there stood a hugh gate and a greeting (guard) house. Further down the lane was a small village complete with a gas station garage, and housing for the staff. During lunch, I met a man whose main job on the estate was to raise game birds in cages and then to lie in the woods and release them as the owners and their friends came through for a hunt. The guests would leave thinking they had great luck, great skill…</p>

<p>I don’t think a regular person would fit in with this level of insanity very well, but I think a well educated person could get by with the multi-millionaires child if they had common interests. A lot might depend on if they were old money or new money.</p>

<p>We really don’t have the sort of enclaves on the west coast that those on the east have had for decades.
Much more mixing at least where I am.
My daughter for instance attended elementary school and now works at the same school where the head of Microsoft & Amazon just for two send their kids. ( of course they work for a living- so I suppose they can’t really be called superrich)
Some of our friends that I have met through her schools are very well off- and some are even sending their kids to urban public high schools.
Not saying that these families dont 'have two or three homes around the world, but while they are in Seattle, they pretty much live like the rest of us. ( except for the bodyguards)</p>

<p>Actually Emerald, things here in CA couldn’t be more different than what you describe in the Pacific NW.</p>

<p>There is a ton of new money and I find that it’s much flashier than what I saw of old East Coast money. $100,000 plus cars are a dime a dozen. McMansions everywhere. Kids with designer handbags. </p>

<p>A few weeks ago a friend with a child on scholarship at a private elementary school related a telling story. After Spring recess, the teacher asked the class where they had gone during break. She went around the room with each child telling about their trips to Hawaii, Palm Springs and even Europe for the week. Her daughter was the only one who had stayed home!</p>

<p>Even if Bill and Jeff work for a living, they are rich at a level not dreamed of in the past. While they may come to school events in Gap jeans, I think we know that behind closed doors their family lives are very different than the rest of ours.</p>

<p>Lakeside is still the power elite school in Seattle. The rest is PR.</p>

<p>Of course money buys a world of difference. What is so new about that? I have been reading the series in the NYT, but there is not a whole lot new in there. You see the evidence everywhere.</p>

<p>I do some work in a school where most of the families are so dysfunctional that they cannot take care of their kids. The results are pretty clear. When I hear about school choice and vouchers, and look at this situation, it would not help. Those options will help out those kids who have parents to be their advocates. The most unfortunate childeren are the ones whose parents cannot or will not take care of them well, and those are the ones the system should help the most. But I guess kids don’t vote.</p>

<p>For many years, I lived in a world of highly educated but poor families. The world of post grads, grad students, perpetual students, university groupies. As we got older, we had kids. But despite the lack of money, living in the student ghetto in substandard housing by most of middle America’s standards, we lived a life rich in cultural amentities and educational opportunities. The kids in this environment are a definite exception to the money/education connection, but this category is but a blip on the screen, since the world of poverty is so vast. Also this is where the “socio” comes into play which in my book is much more powerful than the economics.</p>

<p>“Also this is where the “socio” comes into play which in my book is much more powerful than the economics.”</p>

<p>jamimom, thank you for putting that so succinctly. I too work at school with economically disadvantaged children. Some of them are abused, neglected, and generally poorly cared for. These kids do poorly in school, have vast emotional problems, and are incredibly desparate for attention. Other kids, who live in the same run down apartment building and wear the same secondhand clothes, are so much better off, simply because their parents are able/willing to put in the time and effort it takes to raise their kids. These kids, while mostly not super high achievers, read at grade level and are well adjusted. They’ll look at a book in the library and say, “oh, I have this book at home.” Some kids have literally NO books at home-- so the fact that the parents have taken the initiative to get a few books speaks volumes about the child’s family life.</p>

<p>You don’t need money to fall in love, and you don’t need (much) money to be a good parent either.</p>

<p>I agree with Jamimom that there was absolutely nothing new there, and in fact, nothing of much importance. </p>

<p>For those who think you can’t rise in “economic standing” through a combination of effort and talent, you are right. YOU can’t. Others can ,have, and will continue to do so. </p>

<p>One of the more remarkable things about the adult boards here is the updated, educated version of what you could hear in the barrooms of the steel town where I grew up. For you youngsters out there, I advise you to ignore it. Its a dressed up version of the “you’ll never make it, life is unfair and rigged” defeatism.</p>

<p>I grew up in a family where my father never made over $15,000 a year, and no one had gone to college. I was admitted to a top school, and later to a top business school. The kid who followed me to my undergrad school the following year had a telephone lineman for a father. He went to a top 5 law school and is now a partner at the best firm in town. Anyone can do this. The world is filled with people who earn a lot more than their fathers and grandfathers did. And of course the converse is true.</p>

<p>One piece of obvious advice…if you want to rise high on the economic ladder, pick a career where there is a chance to do it. Don’t become a reporter (for example) and spend all your time complaining about the less deserving classmates who became traders or whatever and make a lot of money. That choice was open to you and you didn’t take it. [The fashion and media business are also full of attractive but low paying jobs. Don’t take them if you’re trying to raise your bank account. They are for people who don’t care, or don’t need to care because they are already well off.] </p>

<p>I never once heard my parents complain about what we had as we grew up. They taught us to be thankful to GOd for what we did have (something that I have not done adequately). Don’t worry about what others have. Focus on what YOU think is important, whether or not its material well-being, and target it.</p>

<p>Jamimom, Irene, Dadx,
Three great posts, all in a row. I’d like to add something, but I’m not sure what that would be, since you’ve covered it all so well. I have to run off to a school function right now, maybe I’ll think of something to add later. However, it will be awfully hard to follow one of the single best comments I’ve ever seen here:

I am personally so leery of the agenda-driven NYT these days that I find it very difficult to take anything they publish seriously, except for the weekend crossword puzzles. If the Times ever loses Will Shortz and his stable of puzzlers, they are finished. It’s the last shred of credibility they have.</p>

<p>Fantastic post dadx.</p>

<p>My MIL and FIL fell in love when they were dirt poor and 14. They married the day she graduated from high school. He went into the marines. When he got out, he worked for a Fortune 200 company–loading box cars. At night, he went to business school. He had to study in the car because their one bedroom apartment was too noisy (three children under 5).</p>

<p>A few years later, the company asked him and his brother if they wanted to get on the management track. He said yes. The brother said no–he didn’t want to move every two years.</p>

<p>My FIL rose to be the #10 guy at the company, and went on to be the CEO of another Fortune 500 company. They do have funny stories of trying to decipher the social norms of the different stratas they climbed through as they moved up the ladder; ie what clothes does this group prefer, what curtains? His mother got it all wrong once or twice. Iv’e seen photos of DH in some awful plaid get-ups.</p>

<p>I’m not sure they had the sense of discomfort the NYT describes. They were haveing too much fun pinching themselves. My MIL was sorry that she did not have time to pursue a college education.</p>

<p>Yes, all good posts and I agree that one who is tenacious can certainly get where they want to go.</p>

<p>I do think the Times series does make some important points though. While we see poor kids going off to HY and P and they will certainly have many choices and great mpbility, these kids are small in number. When the Times talks about less mobility than ther was 30 years ago, they have a point where huge numbers of the middle and upper classes are concerned.</p>

<p>Many high paying middle class jobs have dissapeared from this Country and will continue to do so. The kid whose father had a high paying factory job is far less likely to ever get one. So many white collar jobs are no longer there, too. Middle class income is declining and our children’s generation will be dealing with this even more than we are.</p>

<p>Also, look at the fact that the rich can no longer buy their way into most top schools. Will the offspring of the Harvard grad that goes to lower ranked schools have the same opportunities as Dad? No top B school, no job on Wall Street. No top law school, no top firm no matter who daddy is theses days. Nepotism in corporations is increasingly frowned upon whereas thirty years ago it was more than acceptable.</p>

<p>There are some harsh realities.</p>

<p>Interesting story about your FIL, cheers. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I’m curious about the brother. What became of him in later life…did the two brothers stay close or grow apart?</p>

<p>My own dad made a very different career choice than his brothers and brothers-in-law. All of them had college educations and graduate degrees, but my father’s career choices resulted in a very modest (though adequate–thanks to my thrifty and incredibly resourceful mother) family lifestyle compared to all my relatives.</p>

<p>My aunts and uncles had fur coats and sports cars and expensive vacations overseas and major league season tickets. </p>

<p>My mom made lots of our clothes and my dad took the bus to work and my mom drove an old clunker and our family vacations were camping trips in nearby state parks and all of us kids helped out in the my dad’s sideline business after school and on weekends and during the summers. </p>

<p>And yet, I always thought our family was the happiest.</p>

<p>We actually ENJOYED working together. And we had a lot of time together–during slack periods in his moonlighting business, my dad had time to be a scoutmaster and he took us all on weekend hikes through the city parks and to free museums and to the library a lot. I remember my dad taking us to pick mulberries and hickory nuts that had fallen to the ground in the city parks. </p>

<p>I earned money babysitting for my cousins–spending time in their very different households was a glimpse into an entirely different world for me–it seemed like my cousins’ parents spent a good deal of their scarce free time AWAY from their kids–going to fancy parties and restaurants, using their season tickets to the sports events, even jetting off to the Super Bowl.</p>

<p>I always felt that our family was the really “rich” one. My dad was a wonderful storyteller and my mom sang when she cleaned the house and inspired us with her thrifty resourcefulness. And I have wonderful memories of those frugal-on-a-shoestring vacations in nearby state parks.</p>

<p>My parents didn’t have money for going out to fancy places or getting dressed up or hiring babysitters. Instead, their social life was mostly inviting interesting friends over for coffee and lively political discussions (we kids were allowed to listen quietly while sitting on the stairs in the adjoining hall.)</p>

<p>But we WERE fortunate–in ways that many of today’s families with incomes comparable to my parents are NOT–we had health insurance. And we were also fortunate that all of us were pretty healthy.</p>