I love this article. It’s what I aspired to, raising my daughter.
Raising Children Without the Concept of Sin
My religious fundamentalist childhood was built around the fear of sin. My daughters don’t even know the word.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/25/well/family/raising-children-without-the-concept-of-sin.html
So interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “sin” in our house - and not intentionally. It’s just not something we ever talk about - unless I say things like “children going to be hungry in this country is a sin…” But we are also not a religious house at all. Moral? Ethical? Yes. Religious? No.
Perhaps the author’s dislike for the concept of “sin” is from her very strict religious upbringing which sounds like the concept of “forgiveness” was given short shrift.
@gouf78, I get your point. But it appears that she is raising her kids without religious precepts, which is what I did. My daughter and I are both cultural Jews with a strong sense of right and wrong but without religious beliefs.
Our children were brought up without the concept of sin, but then we are atheists. I’m pretty sure the topic was broached at elementary school age, when discussing what other people believed.
I regard the idea of “sin” as a useless and mostly damaging concept. Especially original sin. Selfish vs unselfish, damaging vs constructive, yes. We are both pretty much atheists, and we raised our S in the UU church, which conveyed values and religious literacy but not religious dogma–we are a non-creedal group–and my S attended his first March on Washington in a stroller. 
I did not share the kind of upbringing the writer did, and never made a conscious decision to rear him without “sin,” but that is effectively what we did.
Neither my parents nor grandparents are religious so I’m second generation (at least) raised without the concept of sin.
It’s truly amazing how many people ask my parents and me how you can be moral without religion. We both have the same mindset of “if you need the threat of eternal suffering to not hurt people, you’re probably not a good person.”
I have wondered the same as the author regarding my kids, who were not raised in a church. They are definitely church-fluent, as I was raised in church and much of our extended family were and are. Not UU but similar, so not a difficult church to be part of and the emphasis wasn’t on sin anyway, but more social justice type stuff.
My ex was also atheist/Catholic and I was glad to have Sunday mornings “off”, so we didn’t go as a family, even to the cool church. But my kids chose, on their own, to do various church-ey programs over the years, VBS, after school, sunday school with g-parents, that sort of thing.
I do not think believing in or fearing sin is a requirement to have a moral code, no. It does make it easy because there’s a framework and a somewhat clear system of reward and punishment, I suppose.
Plus the whole grace/forgiveness thing.
@OHMomof2, I adopted my daughter from China. Before we became a family, I visited many Jewish congregations and could not find one that wouldn’t make me feel like a hypocrite to attend, so we did not. But she decided that she wanted a Bat Mitzvah celebration to make her more a part of my family, descended from refugees from Hitler (although there’s no one in our family who is observant; well, one young family of cousins now that belongs to a very liberal congregation). We found a rabbi who would take her on as an independent student for her to learn her Torah portion, and we had an amazing service complete with a Torah rented for a nominal fee from the rabbi’s congregation, at a dim sum restaurant in Chinatown.
One day when she was 11, she came home and said to me, “Mom, I just heard this saying, something like religion is a drug.” Of course she meant Marx’s dictum that religion is the opiate of the masses. Despite the lack of religious teaching, she has a strong moral compass and I am so proud of her.
When my kids were little, I had a religious friend who would correct her children’s behavior by saying “God doesn’t want us to do that.” She never told them WHY God didn’t want it.
I think my kids and other kids from secular families had an advantage over her kids. We secular parents had to explain WHY a behavior was unacceptable. You don’t pull your sister’s hair because it hurts. You don’t leave your bike outside because it would rust. You don’t talk at the movies because if you do, other people can’t hear the show. I think it’s helpful for kids to understand these things rather than simply having the undesirable behavior labeled as “sin.”
I was brought up without the concept of sin, as were my kids. I don’t believe in original sin, I believe most people want to be good and have basic concepts of fairness built into them biologically. See Frans de Waal’s TED Talk Frans de Waal’s TED Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/frans_de_waal_do_animals_have_morals?language=en. We brought up our kids in Ethical Culture. We believe in acting so as to bring out the best in others and also in ourselves.
Religion sucks.God doesn’t. I’m sorry for the way that some churches have confused these things.
"I think my kids and other kids from secular families had an advantage over her kids. We secular parents had to explain WHY a behavior was unacceptable. You don’t pull your sister’s hair because it hurts. You don’t leave your bike outside because it would rust. You don’t talk at the movies because if you do, other people can’t hear the show. I think it’s helpful for kids to understand these things rather than simply having the undesirable behavior labeled as “sin.” "
That’s just decent parenting–nothing to do with religion.
Yes, why would it be a problem to explain both? I find the assault on Christianity and religion in the mainstream media to be extreme. On one hand some say they are open to all races, sexual orientation etc but they really are not open to other viewpoints and directly show a hatred for Christians.
Here’s the real concern …
You don’t introduce religion of any kind into your kid’s life and then they run into it in a big way…and have no defense.
All of sudden they are confronted with questioning their beliefs about life, death, the existence of God etc. With bible quotations flying around and “being born” again in some new way.
That defense can be as simple as “I’m already baptized.”
“I’m “X” religion. Good to go”
“I have my beliefs in order.”
Cult influence…DON’T underestimate the pull or how many cult groups are out there! Or how aggressive they can be.
Especially on college campuses.
Some under the guise of mainstream denominations. Some of the biggest cults have the most presence on campus.
ESPECIALLY for college freshmen who are looking for friends and a group.
I had a good “normal” (mainstream) religious background but was still unprepared for the onslaught of people trying to pull me into their own religious group. Those without some background were easy pickings. And no matter the religious background every one should know the tactics of these groups.
Why would you “explain” something you don’t subscribe to? And Christianity is not a “viewpoint”.
I was raised in a denomination in which sin was a big theme. We raised our kids in a different denomination. Sin was not the central theme. At church, the focus was on doing good. At home, we taught our kids that being kind and ethical was important. It is absolutely possible to be religious & not to talk about sin.
Ha ha ha. I’ve seldom read such a “holier than thou” piece as from this NYT nitwit. She intones all the sacred words of currently fashionable orthodoxy - all the while decrying religion. No doubt the irony is lost on her.
She clearly does belong to a church, and is desperate to be seen as holy by her fellow congregants.
She hasn’t traveled very far from her fundamentalist roots at all.
@SatchelSF – I have to disagree. I think her article portrays someone trying to break free from a very strict upbringing and trying to define herself in new terms.
@SatchelSF wholeheartedly agree with you. She is so fundamentally drawn to her new religion she doesn’t even realize she’s a member. Wow.
Agree with others in the thread that sin is not a tenet of all religions. I am very religious and I don’t think I have ever said the word in my home. My kids would laugh out loud.