<p>My son came out in middle school, when he was 12. (At the time, and for a couple of years thereafter, he was the only out gay kid in his school.) It’s wonderful to see that kind of self-acceptance and self-confidence becoming more common among gay and lesbian kids that age. No more shame, no more self-hatred.</p>
<p>geez, my 12 year old is way to shy to even admit any orientation, but I think that is because she is the baby and doesn’t want to be teased by her sisters…my middle one was the girl who had " boyfriends " since 5th grade, my oldest liked boys but was a little shy with them
Youngest is very sensitive, and even so to a classmate who is a bit of a tomboy and gets picked on and called " lesbian " by other girls…such a tough age</p>
<p>What kind of parent would allow their gay middle school child to have boyfriend? I understand that a kid can know his sexual orientation at such a young age, and I have no problem with a parent being accepting of that. However, homosexual youths are much more promiscuous than straight people. If this kid has a boyfriend at 12, he’s probably been doing more than just holding hands.</p>
If your parents say you aren’t allowed to have any relationships at all (and maybe that you are an abomination, etc.) it’s all-or-nothing with regards to following their advice.</p>
<p>Straight middle school kids talk about “going with” each other incessantly, even if no actual dating is possible yet. It’s probably the same with gay middle school kids.</p>
<p>Most gay and lesbian kids in middle school <em>and</em> high school have far <em>fewer</em> opportunities for any kind of dating (let alone sex, promiscuous or otherwise), because of the simple demographic fact that the “pool” of available boyfriends or girlfriends is generally so much tinier for them than it is for straight kids, or for gay or lesbian college students or adults, given the relative scarcity of other kids who are out at that age (reducing the numbers even lower than the total of 3% - 5% who would probably come out as gay and lesbian eventually). There were 100 kids in my son’s graduating class, about 50 boys. I think that by the time he was a senior, one or two others had come out. Who exactly was he supposed to date? Never mind dating, he had only a couple of gay friends until he got to college.</p>
<p>" What kind of parent would allow their gay middle school child to have boyfriend? "</p>
<p>I am guessing the same kind of parent who would allow their heterosexual middle school child to have a boyfriend / girlfriend…</p>
<p>and that would make me guilty as charged…the extent of contact is mostly talking on line, and perhaps (((( gasp )))) an afternoon movie date. </p>
<p>From personal experience, both my ancient history as well as my daughters experiencing their puppy love, the contact was innocent, non-physical and hasn’t scarred them or created promiscuity…lighten up</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing that, Donna! There was a lot of wisdom in that article.</p>
<p>I thought this was great:</p>
<p>“When I first realized I was gay,” Austin interjected, “I just assumed I would hide it and be miserable for the rest of my life. But then I said, ‘O.K., wait, I don’t want to hide this and be miserable my whole life.’ ”</p>
<p>I asked him how old he was when he made that decision.</p>
<p>It’s nice to see the world slowly changing. In college I only knew two guys who were out, and no women at all.</p>
<p>This made me laugh: ""Tina surprised me when she said her father actually prefers that she date girls. “His biggest fear has always been that I’ll get pregnant before I’m 18,” she told us, “so my dad’s really supportive of the girl thing.”</p>
<p>Interestingly, homosexual men tend to have a higher average number of sex partners, but a lower median number of sex partners. This information was collected from General Social Survey data.</p>
<p>Where we live this could never happen. The entire family would be gossipped about and shunned. I think a good friend of my daughter’s is gay (13) but he’s going to have to wait to leave for college until he comes out. His parents suspect it and are apparently “terrified”. Contrast that to the episode on “Glee” the other night where the 9th grader came out to his father, and his father said he loved him regardless of his orientation.</p>
<p>Because of reality shows like Tila Tequila, literally half the girls at my daughter’s middle school have “come out” as bisexual. These are girls around 12 years old. Why? Well, because it’s “cool” and they get a great deal of attention and kudos from people for declaring their newly discovered orientation loudly and often.</p>
<p>The small problem, of course, is that not all of these girls ARE bisexual.</p>
<p>I am happy that we, as a society, have come (or are coming) far enough that tweens and teens don’t have to hide their sexual orientations out of fear (not true everywhere, but we’re getting there). However, coming out in middle school is not for everyone. Middle school kids are often confused about their own feelings and can be influenced by peer pressure to say one thing or the other in order to fit in with others they hang with. Declaring something at 12 that may not be true then or, especially, at 16 or over isn’t always a good or productive thing.</p>
<p>Buddy, think before you write something that may hurt someone else and try to find a more “reputable” publication to pull your quotes from. If all of your news comes from a site such as the NR, you may want to remain in your house and keep off of the computer for fear of exposing yourself as a poorly informed bigot.
Here is the information regarding Buddy’s “source”:
National Review (NR) is a biweekly magazine and web site, founded by the late author William F. Buckley, Jr. in 1955 and based in New York City. It describes itself as “America’s most widely read and influential magazine and web site for Republican/conservative news, commentary, and opinion.”[1] It is usually considered the center of intellectual activity for the American Conservative movement in the twentieth century.
If you are going to quote scientific data, that’s one thing but to cloak your homophobia and bias in the guise of expert reporting in a publication with clear ties to the political right, that’s another thing altogether. A fact which IS true is that gay and lesbian youngsters are more than ten times as likely to commit suicide than a straight kid, and one thing that helps drive those numbers ever upward is the outright stupidity of bigoted fools who talk before they think.</p>
<p>The Sailer article quotes a leading demographer as saying that the homosexual population (male) was less than 1%? I thought it was more like 10%.</p>
<p>dke, the 10% number is more lore than science and has its roots in the Kinsey surveys which had huge sampling errors, among other problems. No serious scientist recognizes the 10% number.</p>
<p>As for the attack(s) on Sailer, and believe me, I’m no apologist for him and some of his wacky views, his NRO article seems well-conceived and logical. Whether or not one likes him or the NR, it seems a bit narrow minded to discount everything he says or that NR prints on the grounds that he or the publication is conservative politically. I think our president in misguided in many ways, I voted against him, and I hope he is not reelected, but I don’t think he’s wrong 100% of the time. Heck, neither Ted Kennedy nor Strom Thurmond were wrong 100% of the time.</p>
<p>As for the bisexual high school girl epidemic (and I use that term tongue in cheek) my experience is that few of these girls are interested sexually in their girlfriends but instead are trying to get a rise out of the boys by catering to the boys’ conceptions about lesbians and the male fixation of two women at the same time.</p>
<p>The Times article waits nine (internet) pages before getting to a small part of the promiscuity issue, if only in a round about way. My son is 17. He is not permitted to be in his bedroom with his GF if the door is closed. I’d venture that that rule is similar for many parents. But in same sex situations, can/should the parent of a homosexual child enforce the same rule? Or can the school keep two male students out of the bathroom if they enter together? The exchange between Ely and his mother raises the question. It is in this area, in addition to many others, that parents and educators of homosexual children have unique challenges, and no clear answers.</p>
<p>"What kind of parent would allow their gay middle school child to have boyfriend? "</p>
<p>The same kind that allow their straight middle school children to have romantic partners. Some kids start dating in 6th grade. Many middle schoolers have romantic partners even if they aren’t allowed to date.</p>
<p>“But in same sex situations, can/should the parent of a homosexual child enforce the same rule? Or can the school keep two male students out of the bathroom if they enter together?”</p>
<p>Of course, parent scan enforce whatever rules they want to in their home. They can have a rule that no one is allowed in their kids’ bedrooms.</p>
<p>Just because homosexuals enter a bathroom together doesn’t mean they’ll engage in sexual activity.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, heterosexual couples have found plenty of places in schools to have sex. At S’s school, a hetero couple was found in a closet having sex on the American flag…</p>