Nearly 2/3 of women in a survey of 5000 students at a Midwestern university said a partner had choked them during sex-- many without having been asked first.
Apparently many guys think the women want it.
Especially terrifying are the long term physical, pychological and cognitive consequences of the brain’s having been deprived of oxygen, even for a short time. Worse if it happens repeatedly. “…the true effects are silent, potentially not showing up for days, weeks, even years…”
Gift link to article below. Consider discussing the topic or sharing the article with your kids-- it could be life saving.
I would never have thought that a woman would need to tell a new sex partner, before sex, “By the way, I don’t want you to choke me”.
But once she’s being choked she won’t be able to speak the words, will she?
This sounds pretty awful and deadly! At the very least you may cause the person to lose brain cells! Wow! I had never heard this was common before, especially in such young people, especially women and girls! Scary!
When I was in high school, the teenage son of the doctor my mom worked for accidentally died from autoerotic asphyxiation. I was naive & had never heard of it - I was blown away that all my guy friends knew what it was. I had heard about choking (it isn’t just teenagers), but I’m still amazed and confused by it. I don’t understand why anyone would want to do this or to have it done to them.
We have lost a generation. Consent is now meaningless. This generation has lost ability to love and to have intimate relationships. Young ladies are so insecure that they would allow this? Young men hate the opposite sex so much? How disturbing. This is mental illness masked as the new normal.
It’s aggravated assault, and NOT wanting to be choked in bed really goes without saying. If this is a trend, it would be the most disturbing one I’ve heard of.
A good filter can block out most of it, at least the insane stuff. But in my opinion, if boys are doing things like this, there’s some mental health issues that need to be addressed before he’s ready to resume a healthy relationship. Hospitalization would be a consideration if he’s having these fantasies.
Me thinks, this kind of toxic behavior can be prevented by parents blocking access to porn, and teaching boys how to respect ladies.
Call me cynical, but it seems it would very easy for young men to get around this (parental blocking). Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
It ultimately most likely comes down to parenting, modeling, and instilling general principles of respect/understanding of consent. And even then, there is no guarantee. It’s a disturbing trend.
It’s not fullproof, but it works when paired with active parenting. We taught our daughter abstinence and self respect. She only dates boys with a sense of morals and whose heads are “screwed on” properly. That’s half the solution there. Boys tend to come to their senses when pretty girls refuse to go out with them.
I am not sure that a parent of a teenager has any sure way to know if their child is practicing abstinence.
When I was a teenager myself, I definitely knew some kids involved in sex & drugs whose parents were under the impression that they were perfect angels.
Very true. I guess we got a little lucky with our daughter. She’s very open about what she does and where she goes. Of course, I’m a bit of an old fashion dad. I like to meet “Mr handsome.” I’m also a big dude. It comes from my German ancestry. So maybe I’m striking a bit of fear unknowingly, who knows?
So you think. So my parents thought too, but they were wrong. And that was true for many of the kids I grew up with. Unless you have eyes on your kid 24/7 (not possible), you have no idea what they don’t tell you. I’m a young parent, so I raised my kid without blinders on and fresh recollection of what kids do behind their parents back. Preaching abstinence doesn’t inspire good communication; just the opposite. It just makes kids more sneaky.
I kind of do have eyes on her activities. We all have location sharing setup on our iPhones. I used to “dad stalk” her on the GPS on a regular basis when she went out with her friends. Whenever she went to someplace odd, I’d call or text her. Now that she’s 18, there’s no need for me to do that anymore.
