<p>^ Niquii–why do you state women must be aware,and not men? curious what you are basing this on?</p>
<p>what is your own personal experience with career and family?</p>
<p>Really? Are women the only ones who can clean house, do laundry, make doctor appts, etc?</p>
<p>My spouse and I were and are equal partners in the raising of our children. We managed both of our careers to that end. The biological determinism on here is sickening. And shame on you for suggesting that of my boy-girl twins, my son’s career aspirations should be supported more heavily than my daughter’s. </p>
<p>Everyone has to figure out work-family balance. People solve for it in different ways, but it’s “the woman’s problem” only if the woman married a jerk who isn’t 50-50.</p>
<p>“Since my objective function for my children depends not just on how successful they are in their careers but on whether they have children, I will not advise my daughter to be as career-minded as my sons.”</p>
<p>Will you spend proportionately less on your daughter’s education? For example, my twins got into generally equal elite schools that coat roughly the same. If you were in my shoes, would you allocate money to the boy but tell the girl - a “lesser” school is good enough since you should wind up back in the kitchen anyway?</p>
<p>^excellent post pizzagirl</p>
<p>it’s 2013 folks…it’s time we recognize that our sons and daughters have the same rights, responsibilities and privileges in life. if a couple choose to have one partner care for a child for the first couple of years because that’s what works for that family, then figure out the next stage and steps that’s healthy and smart.</p>
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Well…we are talking about women are we not?</p>
<p>Men can take care of the children all they want, but the women still have the children. It will have an effect on their career. Their career will have an effect on if and when and how many children they have.</p>
<p>I have simply brought a point into this discussion. Women can’t have it all at the same time without making sacrifices.</p>
<p>^um, not exactly.</p>
<p>the thread is about Penn and the hook up scene. my understanding is it takes two to hook up. two to have a baby, etc. </p>
<p>still wondering what your personal experience is with this issue Niquii?</p>
<p>I found sharing the responsibilities of parenthood and managing professional lives to permit this quite gratifying and workable. You?</p>
<p>Niquii is a female who starts college this Fall.</p>
<p>thanks 07DAD.</p>
<p>Niquii–I respect your thoughts on this, and I hope you keep an open mind about your own personal choices. There are many of us who have found ways to make this work without sacrificing our careers, but by managing our families, and our careers creatively. A key element is recognizing that both partners must see this as a goal. I would hope you aren’t starting your own college career limiting yourself based on this belief.</p>
<p>07DAD, I’m sure you can delve into my past posts farther than that and deduce why I believe what I believe. </p>
<p>lindz, when I joined in we were not talking about the hookup culture at Penn. I’ll give you my experience when I get off of work.</p>
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<p>Just curious: are you willing and able to support your adult daughter and her children in the event that her husband, however high-earning, walks out on her? </p>
<p>I strongly feel that my D must know how to support herself and any children she might have, in case she marries someone unreliable. I have no control over that. The world is full of women raising children alone who never in a million years dreamed they would have to do so.</p>
<p>“I have simply brought a point into this discussion. Women can’t have it all at the same time without making sacrifices.”</p>
<p>Neither can men. Sure, no woman can be the best neurosurgeon and stay home with 5 kids. But no man can, either. What’s your point, then?</p>
<p>^exactly.</p>
<p>Niquii–open to hearing your own personal reasons for your opinions. Whatever your reasons are, it still wouldn’t mean that all women need to have those same limiting beliefs, choices. that’s the thing about choice, it’s personal…</p>
<p>A dad here. I was a lawyer and she was an executive in the emerging computer/data processing/outsourcing field. I wanted to be hands-on in parenting instead of the nanny route. Filed for divorce when our son was 5 months old. I got an apartment and a crib and never looked back. </p>
<p>It is about personal choices and what “have it all” means to a person. I never would dump a lot of preconceived limitations on myself or my child. I studied the theories of looking-glass self and self-fulfilling prophecy. Each person should chart their own life.</p>
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<p>I’m in the investment business, where most married fathers with young children have wives who stay at home or work part time. Not all, of course – my wife is a doctor. The single-earner family is alive and well, and that single earner is rarely the wife, at least in my circles.</p>
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<p>My wife and I would, if we were able. And I’m not saying my daughter should not have a career, just not one with such heavy work hours and travel that it prevents her from spending time with her children. It’s not PC to talk about it, but mothers do figure this out and tend to avoid such jobs. Anne-Marie Slaughter left such a job and wrote an essay “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” about it.</p>
<p>edited by ME:</p>
<p>*And I’m not saying my SON should not have a career, just not one with such heavy work hours and travel that it prevents HIM from spending time with HIS children.
*
Anyone agree?</p>
<p>“I’m in the investment business, where most married fathers with young children have wives who stay at home or work part time. Not all, of course – my wife is a doctor. The single-earner family is alive and well, and that single earner is rarely the wife, at least in my circles.”</p>
<p>Oh. I must travel in more progressive circles. Dual professional couples and SAH dads are common.</p>
<p>We have a lot of sahd here.
We need them cause moms cant run herd in the boys bathrooms on field trips and they are good for the heavy lifting. 
Plus many of them are just temperamentally better suited to being a sahd.
For instance a good friend is an accountant. He was very busy at tax time, but the rest of the year was a sahd as his wife as a trial attorney did very well bringing home the bacon. This was true through high school age, not just when kids were small. We need a lot of parental involvement in the schools, coaching sports teams etc…</p>
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<p>[Single</a> dads more common - latimes.com](<a href=“http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-la-nn-single-fathers-kids-20130702,0,7049138.story]Single”>http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-la-nn-single-fathers-kids-20130702,0,7049138.story)</p>
<p>I fail to see why it’s more of a “shame” that a given woman doesn’t spend time with her children due to work than it is that a given man doesn’t. There’s a real fear, apparently, that the maternal bond is so weak that if a woman works outside the home, it will break, but no such fear exists of the paternal bond, eh?</p>