<p>I wrote this beautiful essay. Don’t steal the idea, I’m not going to disclose too much, but it’s kind of a sweet essay that I wrote. I showed it to lots of people during drafting and writing and drafting and everyone, (honest people, including guidance counselors, friends, etc) told me it was great and it needs just a few improvements, like, tone down this part, add example here, make more concrete. </p>
<p>I’m applying to UW-Madison by the way.
So, my teacher who is old and weathered but funny and smart but very frank, read my essay in three minutes and told me point blank that my metaphor and language are too complicated for any admissions officer to want to read. I’m not trying to argue, but I don’t necessarily agree with everything she said. My style is mildly poetic, I have a healthy vocabulary and knack for description. </p>
<p>This teacher went on to tell one of my recommender’s about my essay, and he also advised me not to go that route because UW-Madison just wants to hear about you and not a metaphor, etc. (Mind you, he had not read the essay…)
But I want to be set apart, and what I wrote is more me than an essay about what responsibility I learned from being on student government would be or a haphazard telling of how I will enrich the campus because I’m diverse. </p>
<p>So basically, rather than sit here and tell you my horrifying story, would anyone, (someone with a lot of writing experience PLEASE) be willing to read my essay ASAP or tell me advice about this? I’d like it better if you read my essay first, because otherwise it gets very difficult to understand completely.</p>
<p>I want to get my application in very soon, and I keep delaying it because I want my essays to be perfect. So I’m probably only fielding responses until the weekend ends.</p>