<p>Another couple of things…DD and her six roommates have WEEKLY house meetings to discuss the state of the house. Each of them is in charge of something. DD is in charge of getting the rent check mailed. The roomies all have to deposit money into an account she opened ONLY for house purposes. They started having these house meetings BEFORE they even agreed to signing a lease together. It has worked out well. When two roommates decided not to renew the lease for next year, the other five had to interview and approve the replacements…which fortunately went very smoothly.</p>
<p>There are a lot of things college kids (and other adults ;)) should do, yet manage to avoid- going to every class, not drinking underage, paying their share of the bill, cleaning the hair spiders out of the shower, etc.</p>
<p>If a parent cosigns a lease, then a parent’s credit score is at risk from the behaviours of every other roommate. We had to pick up some bills to cover the unpaid amounts to protect our credit, I would not recommend it. </p>
<p>If you have only had good experiences, it is difficult to fathom the bad things that can go wrong. I would have to admit that my DD was not blameless, most of all by not choosing wisely.</p>
<p>‘somemom’ and others jogged me on this - I recommend the parents avoid co-signing the lease. Most places will request a co-signer but that doesn’t mean they’ll require it. Another couple of options that are often accepted are - </p>
<ul>
<li><p>Place enough cash in the student’s account for them to be able to pay 12 months worth of rent. This shows the apartment that the student can come up with the cash. Once they’re in the apartment take most of that cash back out of the acount.</p></li>
<li><p>Pay an extra deposit on the apartment - like the deposit plus last month rent. This shows the apartment that they won’t lose if the lease is broken. The actual cost gets split between the roomies so it’s not too bad.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Avoid co-signing if you possibly can.</p>
<p>Totally agree with you Somemom. My daughter learned a very important lesson and has chosen her roommates for next year much more carefully. Rules about finances have been discussed and agreed upon by all 3 girls living in her house next year. She has known both girls longer AND has met their families on several occasions. In fact they will all be working together this summer. My husband and I have also met them (and their parents) and I will have no problem calling them should a situation arise.</p>
<p>Some kids can qualify without the parent on the basis of their financial aid package, loans or grants, it will show they can pay</p>
<p>Agree the roommates need to make the decisions- but parents can make suggestions which won’t be heeded. Son told us last fall the guys planned to eat together one meal per week, it never happened. Everyone’s name was on the lease, with a parent cosigner. We paid son’s share in several month lump sums- they figured out how much was owed based on single/shared room, size… One guy got the money for utilities from the others. One guy didn’t have to clean bathrooms- he ran/emptied the dishwasher for 5-6 guys instead. They all had their own food and a small refrigerator. I sent cleaning supplies in the fall- I figured if every mother did they may or may not have enough for the school year. We had 2 sets of old pots and pans which everyone used, someone else provided the dishes. I also sent along many kitchen extras from our house. Son requested some common use items at semester- it must have been his turn to supply them. Apt living is a learning experience- on a social as well as physical tasks level. Needless to say, different guys are rooming together next year, discoveries about habits et al …</p>
<p>As long as things are legal and acceptable to the students we parents can sometimes only shake our heads at how things were done. I will never know how they decided son’s share of the rent was as low as it was, I would have had him pay a bit more. There will be miscues among people- the person with one of 4 bedrooms who thinks he gets 1/4 of the common storage cupboards, the one who hogs refrigerator space, never cleans up… At least it’s not forever. Son actually cleaned up after himself in the kitchen here today! We can offer all sorts of advice but the kids have to experience some things for themselves to understand why we said things. </p>
<p>Finally- remember it won’t be a perfect setup, regardless of how many rules or other arrangements to avoid problems are made. Compromise is learned. Parents do best by never setting foot in their space except to help haul and carry during the move in/out (or, like me, you can “guard” the car and let them do the work). A pitstop at McD’s or elsewhere is better than knowing how horribly messy, etc things are when giving those break rides.</p>
<p>PS- if one guy “sheds” (son’s term) your child asks for a second bottle of Liquid Plumr at semester break…</p>
<p>D had a horrible experience Junior year and a better one Senior year but still had some conflicts. I paid D’s rent fully for 6 months at the beginning of each semester, and ignored any problems the others had paying their rent. I only cosigned for D.</p>
<p>They each did label their food because that was an issue- some kids like the chips and junk food, or the expensive bottled water, while the other ones don’t.</p>
<p>There can be surprise issues- like the cat that came into the household middle of the year when D is allergic to cats. </p>
<p>There really should be a meeting to discuss potential issues and cleaning tasks, and then a whiteboard to keep up with it.</p>
<p>I shared an apt from soph year on, and had several roommates come and go, summer sub lets, boyfriends over, sharing of utilities-all issues discussed by prior posters.
I thought we hit the jackpot when I had a replacement roommate move in, who I knew from freshmen year dorms, whose family owned a small family farm and grocery stand-SCORE!! When ever she went home, we were replenished, often with load of seasonal items they didn’t want in the store as well. Passover over-boxes of matzah! Easter Sunday dinner complete-boxes of lamb shaped butter in our freezer!</p>
<p>However even that didn’t make up for the roommate who developed bulimia and left us hiding our food in our sweater drawer and whispering about what to do…</p>
<p>You can’t preplan for every contingency.</p>