<p>My son has done a great job of waiting to hear from colleges. Nearly all his friends have heard something positive, ED I or II or from schools with more rolling sorts of admissions…he has not been so lucky yet, but is almost too busy to think about it. I too am blissfully busy at the moment (today at CC is a complete anomaly, I needed a mental health break after 2 weeks of 18 hour work days)…</p>
<p>In the meantime the son of the best man at our wedding, a boy who graduated last year from a terrific Jesuit school, heads to Iraq tomorrow. 30 years ago his father and my husband were heading off to college where they met. </p>
<p>Is anyone here the parent of a child in Iraq? If so, can you share what you think might be helpful for one friend to do for another (from afar) aside from the obvious…emails, thinking of you’s, prayer. I think of this boy’s mother today and I am just paralyzed to think how she must feel.</p>
<p>Robyrm- I’m not the parent of a soldier but am well acquainted with several who are serving in Iraq. Besides calling, email, and prayers (which are all important), we try to show our support by sending the soldiers monthly care packages. They seem to like DVDs, CDs, gum, beef jerkey, toiletries, real toilet paper, batteries, Gatorade mix, and school supplies for the Iraqi children. Showing that you support their son and being there for them to talk to will definitely help them get through these tough times. For their son, Godspeed!</p>
<p>RobynM, not many here who are parents of soldiers. Most of the kids are more in the situation of your son. But my brother was a career officer in the army who recently retired, and I grew up among army brats. (I say use the term lovingly and include myself in that group, though technically, my dad was civillian) My heart goes out to the men over there and the parents. Though I have 7 boys in my brood, none of them went the military path though it was always an option for them. S1 did consider it and investigated it pretty thoroughly but in the end decided it was not for him. I think Kissy is on the mark with the care packages, but even a letter is so nice to get. And write or talk to the mom periodically too. I recently heard about the death of a young man who did some work around our house. His mother baby sat for us occaisionally too, but was a regular housekeeper for a close friend of mine. THe young man had his issues, and was a terrible concern to his mother as he was ony working when he found jobs and had no benefits and lived with whomever he could find would give him a sofa for a few bucks. But he did great work for me, and really helped me out in some real binds out of the goodness of his heart. I remember a job that just turned out to be a problem in that old house we had where nothing was simple to repair, and he cancelled some hot plans for that night so he would not leave us in a lurch and proceded to finish the work acting like there was nothing he would rather do. He was wonderful to my kids and as polite as can be. I wrote a letter to the mother when I heard the news, a bit belated, about her son, and my friend says it is much cherished. Sometimes support comes in the form of that old fashioned letter, that we just don’t write often enough in this electronic age. </p>
<p>Good luck to your son. Many of the kids here are in the same boat. I wish it could be an easier process. We are fortunate in that our son got some early “ayes” but he doesn’t say much to anyone, because it is a tense situationfor some kids. I know now that for S3, in 2 1/2 years, we will have some good rolling or, if possible EA choices in the mix, as I do not want to go through this process waiting for the answers in April. A friend of mine is going through this right now, having gone through 10 initial apps and auditions, striking out on half of them, and deciding they had better add 10 more to the mix. They just finished their last audition this weekend, and they are wiped, and stressed, hoping something come out of all of this.</p>
<p>I just dread hearing bad news from my friends. They are so ambivalent about this. It is what their son most wants, and has for a long time, and they want him to be fulfilled and purposeful, but the timing just seems so unfortunate. When their son told his school he would not be applying to college evidently there was quite an uproar and my friend told me that she got a lot of advice to “make him” apply to schools. He was a very successful kid and people were just shocked, and worried. By the time she and I talked about it, she was still reeling from this and told me that I was the first person to praise her support for her son. I know people have come around since then, but I don’t want to shake her fragile convictions and I want him to know that even though we hate the idea that he is there, we care for him and for them. </p>
<p>Kids who have choices are lucky no matter the choices they have, but when they make these sorts of choices, and when they are already adults, it just seems so, so tough, no?</p>
<p>My close friend’s sister’s son, made the same choice last year. He is over at Iraq. I do not know the mom or boy personally, but my friend did say there was quite an uproar both at home and school when he made his decision. There were some issues involved as well, but he could have gone to a number of good colleges. </p>
<p>I can tell you, however, that a stint in the military has historically been one of the best development experiences for immature young men. The ones who come out hat training are usually eons ahead in maturity, experience, work ethic. My husband’s family had one boy go off to the navy, and though he is not a college grad, he has found the best career of the those kids, including the ones who went to college. It was a good experience for him. It’s just the danger, these days, that makes us all worry so much. But worry seems to be our mantra as parents. God bless all of these young people as they make their journey into adulthood and independence. And the parents as well.</p>
<p>My 57 year old cousin just got back from a 15 month stint flying helicopters in Iraq. It is his fourth tour as a reserve pilot.</p>
<p>I second some of Jmom’s suggestions. I kept up a weekly email banter with his wife and I think she really appreciated it.</p>
<p>Before he left, he talked about the pleasure of getting an old-fashioned letter that he could keep in his pocket and re-read during down times. He said those longer letters from friends and family meant so much. Perhaps you could pass that tip on to your friends.</p>
<p>My niece, USAFA grad, was not in Iraq, but was in the Middle East for several months. She really appreciated packages containing toiletries, Easy Mac, home-made cookies, other snacks. We were able to e-mail back and forth quite a bit. But letters and packages were always much appreciated. They were only allowed limited telephone use, but it was always great to hear her voice. </p>
<p>Your friends might be trying to cover up their worries. Just going to the motions of daily life will be hard - they won’t be able to completely be at peace until he’s back home. My prayers are with him, and them.</p>
<p>My nephew got back from a year in Iraq as an orthopedic surgeon in July of last year. One of my son’s best friend’s came back in December (he’s a marine, was in Mosul) and is going to Afghanistan sometime this spring. A former student, whose mom died of breast cancer his senior year of HS, is currently in Iraq with the Navy. And my next door neighbor leaves for Iraq (as doctor to a group of marines) next week. </p>
<p>Yes, they have email access. In fact, my neighbor went out and bought a sealed fixed lens digital camera so he could email photos to his wife–based on recommendations from friends who are there now. </p>
<p>What to do? Send nonperishable goods. Sunscreen. Eyedrops (the little individual use ones). Hard candies. Paperback books. Letters. </p>
<p>And don’t forget the mom may want some of those things too. I know how much I worry about those I know; it must be worst for the moms.</p>
<p>My H and his siblings have a HS friend who went from HS to the marines(by choice) and I think everyone who knows him knows that it was the single best thing he could have done in his life(he has gone from success to success in many ways), but that was during peace time. The choice to put yourself in harms way speaks to something different about a person, don’t you think? </p>
<p>Thanks for all the ideas on little items that might make his life easier and remind him that we are all here for him. My friend is a person who always portrays the facade that all is well, and only later really lets you know how she felt. But, her own dad died while in the military which must weigh heavily. </p>
<p>The fact that so many people are opposed to the actions in Iraq and that this is so openly articulated to her must also be hard for her(my guess is she is also opposed)…</p>