off to college in a month... start a relationship?

<p>So i'm off to college in less than a month.
and theres this special person
and there is mutual interest
but we're going to different colleges..
UCB and UCLA</p>

<p>should we start anything?
is it truly better to have loved and lost?
or save the heartbreak..?</p>

<p>or let whatever happen as we go?</p>

<p>Up to you. I see a lot of long distance relationships in college fail but that's just me. It could work though maybe.</p>

<p>Up to you. But long distance relationships in college almost always fail.</p>

<p>It's your call. I don't think I would, because there really isn't much time before Berkeley starts. You'd end up feeling committed and involved with this person, but you wouldn't've had enough time to have a relationship that was truly worth waiting for... I've got some friends who are trying to do that right now (they started a relationship for a few weeks and are now separating to go cross-country for college), and though I'm sure they feel that they made the right decision, I'm afraid it'll cause them unnecessary heartbreak.</p>

<p>On the upside, though, I do know a couple that have stayed together for a year long-distance -- and continue to do so -- but they had a longer relationship before separating, so that probably helps.</p>

<p>It's a tough situation, and there's no one right answer... I'm sorry you have to deal with it.</p>

<p>don't underestimate the power of luv</p>

<p>i say if it feels right to start a relationship, go for it, remember, you almlost always regret the things you didn't do rather than the things you did</p>

<p>calperson, I'm in your exact same situation.
And I'm doing it anyways.
It's hard for me to not live for the moment. I say just have a good time, enjoy yourself, try your best to stave off attachment that will hurt you too much, and then go off to college.</p>

<p>Oh and of course its better to have loved and lost. Almost everyone who has been in a relationship and has had some time to think about the relationship after its over (given a reasonable amount of time to get over heartbreak/betrayal, etc.) will tell you its better to have loved and lost. I certainly think so.</p>

<p>I'm in the exact same position. Just with different schools in CA. Five hour distance between them but i'm going for it.</p>

<p>I'm in the same position, only he's headed for air force basic followed by 20 years of service all over the place. I'm staying here in NH. Sadly it's a no brainer for me, and all I can do is hope that we'll be able to remain friends.</p>

<p>Give it a shot if you feel prepared for it, but just realise that probably won't last that long. I think it's better to go for it and then deal with the outcome, rather than live the rest of your life wondering, "What would have happened if..." If can do without it, or if you don't feel that strongly about it then take a pass, but if you feel this is something you should do, then go for it! :)</p>

<p>Berkeley and UCLA are not that far away, just an hour by plane. You can get together for the weekend, i.e.:</p>

<p>Oct. 8 Cal at UCLA in football
Dec. 31 Cal at UCLA in basketball
Mar. 2 UCLA at Cal in basketball</p>

<p>and plenty of other opportunities, depending on your class schedules and personal finances.</p>

<p>The major issue is that freshman year is a time to meet new people. Being in a relationship impacts that experience. You may want to have an open relationship with specific ground rules, i.e.</p>

<li><p>you can meet, talk to and socialize with other people (clubs, movies, dinner, etc.), but no make-out kissing and no sex. Save that for each other!</p></li>
<li><p>you two call each other (or otherwise communicate) every weekend and be totally honest and open with each other about whom you met and what you did. ABSOLUTELY NO SECRETS !!!</p></li>
<li><p>respect each other's feelings, even if it means cutting back on your interaction with others. COMPROMISE for the sake of your relationship with EACH OTHER.</p></li>

<p>Anything else that comes to mind. Complete honesty, openness, mutual respect and PLAYING BY THE RULES are the keys to a successful long-distance relationship.</p>

<p>don’t do it…wait until school starts, if you two are meant to be, then let it happen</p>

<p>check out your Campus 1st…IMO</p>

<p>i see it as saving the heartbreak and rather remain good friends than an ex situation</p>

<p>estogirl says "remember, you almlost always regret the things you didn't do rather than the things you did."</p>

<p>I disagree. Unless this is terribly urgent for you, save it for another time (next summer maybe? after college?). If you get with him/her now you'll just ruin your friendship, assuming you had one. You'll also ruin your college experience.</p>

<p>Instead, give me her number and I'll take care of her because I'll be closer. (joke)</p>

<p>I would do it despite the heartbreak</p>

<p>I mean, unless your life is just wonderful right now and you dont need any added affection</p>

<p>Definitely get into a closer relationship! Wouldn't you rather have some fun, sweet memories than none at all? yes... And plus, you don't want to regret missing out on making the most of a great experience with a graet person. Worry about the separation when it comes, as you both know going off to college is inevitable.</p>

<p>i went to boarding school and started a relationship back home a month after i left. biggest mistake of my life. i'm still beating myself up for it. have a fling. you get over guys quickly. unless you do long distance, obviously. it will lieave you with so many regrets.</p>

<p>When my girlfriend leaves for school in DC, we will have just passed the 8 month mark. I'll be going up to Providence, at Brown. We haven't really discussed logistics/travel/etc, but it looks like we're gonna give it a try.</p>

<p>After all, remember what good ol' Billy Shakes has said on the matter: "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."</p>

<p>Go for it. See where it takes you.</p>