Official ED Essay Exchange

<p>Okay a couple of weeks, there was a bit of talk about an essay exchange after the application deadline. Well, here it is...</p>

<p>ill send my best essay out....but only to trade with someone who thinks they wrote a verrrrry good one (basically to see what all you brilliant people are writing).....lemme know if u wanna do that..... <a href="mailto:jewboyleo@comcast.net">jewboyleo@comcast.net</a></p>

<p>I'm not really worried about anyone stealing my essays or anything. They're all pretty specific to me I think. Here's my first experience essay:</p>

<p>Recall an occasion when you took a risk that you now know was the right thing to do.
They say that the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. Okay, I admit it: I’m addicted to Debate. Nothing in the world makes me feel the way debating does and when I'm not doing it, I'm thinking of the next time I will be. On nights before debate meets, I lay awake in bed in a cold sweat, craving the rush of intense competition. During the off-season, I can’t stop replaying the previous year’s most exciting rounds over and over again in my head. I wish I wasn’t so hooked on this high, but at this point it seems there’s nothing I can do to fight it.
I started debating like any other addict. I used to debate socially with my friends. I even did it a couple of times with my parents. In those days, I did it for fun. I never imagined that Debate would, one day, take over my life. As early as ninth grade, I began to realize that the choice I made to join the debate team was affecting not only me but also those around me. My friends began to complain that I talked too much and was overly analytical; my parents commented a few times that yes, I actually was right (but no, I couldn’t stay out all night anyway); and my teachers frequently noted that my speaking and writing skills were noticeably improving. I felt a certain level of coolness and sophistication that I had never felt before and so I kept debating.
I took a risk one chilly morning in the fall of my freshman year. Dressed in one of my dad’s suits, armed with my own briefcase (“my own” because I found it in the garage), and encouraged by my mom’s words of wisdom (“Knock ‘em dead, Lowell!”… Yes, very appropriate for a debate tournament, I know.), I marched into Columbia City High School ready for my first Debate meet. If you had seen me, you would have thought I was a veteran, but if you had heard my first round, you would have known that I was anything but. I did terribly that first day. I butchered my pre-written speeches, I forgot to ask my pre-written questions, and at one point during the day, I thought that I had lost “my” briefcase. Needless to say, I didn’t win a single round that day. What probably doesn’t go without saying, though, is that I had a blast. I enjoyed the camaraderie, the challenge, the adrenaline rushes, and I’ll never forget those to-die-for chocolate chip brownies that were sold during the lunch break. I could have decided to quit when I got home after that first long Saturday. I was tired, frustrated, and a loser; but I didn’t. Whether it was the addictiveness of that drug I call Debate, the unpleasantness of defeat, or the just the fun that I had had that day, I can’t say. But what I can say is that whatever it was, it dragged me out of bed Saturday after Saturday for Debate meets. Soon I started to feel and to perform as well as I had always looked, those losses started to turn into wins, and my love for Debate grew.
Now in my fourth season, I am a veteran debater. I’ve had my share of tough losses—and some even tougher wins; I’ve had the chance to make friends with students from other schools; I have grown closer to the other members on my debate team; and I’ve indulged in my fair share of catered lunches (although I’ve yet to encounter those chocolate chip brownies again!). As I think back to that scrawny ninth grader who strode confidently into his first debate round, I always chuckle. While I thought nothing of it at the time, I now realize that I risked a lot on that day. I cast aside any fears of humiliation, defeat, and rejection and I pursued something that I found interesting with courage and vigor. To this day, I have yet to regret that decision.</p>

<p>Whudya think!?</p>

<p>UrMRmrmRM...well i'm no authority on this or anything, but uh, it seems like you're trying too hard. i mean debate is cool, and u probably are addicted (i have been at times myself), but...is all u said really necessary?</p>

<p>was that choclate chip brownie really the best brownie you've ever had in your life? what does that add to the essay? why's it matter where you found the briefcase? why's it matter who's suit you were dressed in?</p>

<p>showing u have a passion is nice, but what about penn and debate? do you want to debate at penn? in my whypenn essay i wrote about how i've gone to debate camps all over US every summer and have done debate for 4 years blah blah, and then i also talk about how i want to debate for the penn parly debate team and how parly debate has been an independant passion for some time (it's not offered in my league, but we have mock-tournys in class)</p>

<p>and then the last sentence...you have yet to regret the decision? are u gonna regret it later? </p>

<p>duno, that's what i think. ^.^</p>

<p>i dunno man, addicted to debate? =/ and about ur essay - u forced it</p>

<p>i like the debate essay</p>

<p>according to college advisor pros or w/e, "passion" is very important....i think it is converyed here; although the vehicle used to convey this passion could have been better (for ex. wat anuvx sed "was that choclate chip brownie really the best brownie you've ever had in your life?")....still, the essay is good and clearly shows an important part of how this candidate would contribute to penn</p>

<p>thanx anon. I just realized that that's not the version of the essay I actually sent out. Some of that stuff ie... the brownies were taken out. If you'd like to see the real version I'd be happy to send it to you. Even still though.. I like the essay. I think that talking about all the debate camps I've gone to and awards I've won and then trying to link all this stuff to how I will debate at Penn would actually be "forcing it". If you thought it was forced, you're prolly just too uptight to realize the sarcasm and hyperbole.
Anyone esle wanna post theirs?</p>

<p>haha...that's funny.</p>

<p>I disagree with most of you about the Brownie.....it should have stayed in. Suppose the reader starts reading the essay and says "not another Debate essay!"....then there's the brownie......odd, quirky that the uptight debater is off munching on yummy brownies while the in the middle of losing a debate. It gives him a little character and texture....something Penn likes! I also don't agree with Anu that the connection to Penn's Debate team should have been made. That could have been done in the Why Penn essay. This one was about the risk. </p>

<p>I do think Dred should have used a different topic, though. Students are cautioned against writing essays about big competitions, elections, etc (win or lose) as they are such common essay topics and don't make the writer stand out. But, I think this is a good essay.</p>

<p>the qualms that we had with the brownie were that dred EXAGERRATED unnecessarily and said it was the best one he had ever had....</p>

<p>ok maybe i dont appreciate the essay as much as you guys do becuase i dont debate nor do i have the interest to debate. I didn't mean to sound rude or offensive, however, that's how i felt when reading your essay. Maybe an adcom will agree with you on debate, but i just dont see it. Your writing is good, just the topic doesn't interest me. just a personal opinion</p>

<p>haha. so much for the openminded, loving, 80democrat-20republican ratio, and nurturing atmosphere surrounding penn.. The important thing is that he conveyed himself, and from reading it I feel like I know him. It's a good essay and I think they'll like it. I think some of you guys have turned ivy-league applications into some sort of admissions science -- when in truth they probably just weed out everyone who looks like they came off of a standardized formula.</p>