<p>So my daughter applied to one Americorps program- apparently the only program that doesnt have a lobbyist working to save funding & she has been listed as an alternate.
I feel frustrated because she doesn’t let me see any of her applications, doesn’t take any advice ( as far as I know- although she tells me she does listen) and is too anxious to discuss with me alternative suggestions.</p>
<p>She didn’t fill out any rolling applications- because she was confident she would be admitted to this program- although she does have four schools for which she is filling out the common app.
( and which I am going to make sure she finished today- I pointed out the benefit of turning them in before deadline- making sure that your application is complete & since we both start school again on Monday…)</p>
<p>I have a horrible feeling in my stomach that she didn’t ask for copies to be made of any of her recommendations- but crossing fingers someone has copies.
We haven’t visited any of her four schools & she hasn’t yet let me suggest alternatives- like living at home to do CityYear, ( which is a much bigger program, with more funding)
Or even living in Seattle- and letting us help her find other housing for an Americorps program.
Im thinking living in Seattle and attending a community college would be a reasonable transition, but I also think she would be more successful with a residential campus.</p>
<p>She has the ACT ( without writing) coming up next month, without accommodations as we didn’t have time to ask for them, but I think she may do better than on the SAT.</p>
<p>Im going to help her find some alternate programs in Americorp that are what she wants- she had applied to NCCC, because they have dorms & work on site- but it is a very small program & she feels she totally flubbed her phone interview. ( she doesn’t even talk on the phone to her friends)</p>
<p>I am frustrated because I can’t even talk to H about this. He will just say " what can I do?", but mean- * It will all work out- don’t bother me*.
He forgets it will probably all work out, but that will only be because- my D and I will work hard to * make it* work out.</p>
<p>I hope it all works out, but if it doesn’t it will be a learning experience for your D - don’t put all your eggs in one basket.</p>
<p>Hey; according to some on this forum, you are doing what you are suppose to. letting your kid do it all for themselves. Afterall, it’s a great learning experience. (Sarcasm)</p>
<p>I personally don’t agree with that. If you have any financial or support interests in your daughter’s education, then you have every right to get involved. If your daughter won’t let you monitor or be involved with the progress, then force her to tell you what her backup plans are if she doesn’t get admitted to what she wants. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, then tell he what YOU will decide her future is. We’ve all heard the saying; “**it or get off of the Pot”.</p>
<p>it isn’t really that she put all her eggs in one basket- after all she does have an idea of what she wants to do in college & she is applying to several- but when she wants something very badly
( ie get out of mom and dads house), I think she is focusing more on that- than what she needs to do to get there.</p>
<p>She has been working with a program at school- that helps with college applications although forcing this particular child to tell me anything is like forcing Bush to get out of Iraq- anything I can think of to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do, doesn’t work too well unless I make her think it is her idea.</p>
<p>I can understand wanting to get on with her life- when I was her age- I was out of high school and living with my boyfriend- but IMO the reason why taking a year off was a great idea- was because she is a late bloomer & it will give her more time to work on skills that will help her be successful in college.</p>
<p>We are having a touchy time right now, she has this huge list ( in her head) of things I should have known or should have taught her.
( of course- she doesn’t take instruction well- so the things I have tried to teach her she either resists or * I already know that mom*</p>
<p>But really- I do know that she is very capable- and focused. She isn’t partying out every weekend like I was or even some of my friends kids.
She has taken the initiative to lead programs at her school without any prodding ( I don’t even find out about them until she has already gotten them going) I wouldn’t have predicted that five years ago.</p>
<p>I just was hoping that the next five years would be smoother than the last five.
( or the next five months?)</p>
<p>Well, just because this is forum for and about education, or for those interested in education, doesn’t mean we are all liberal dems; so let’s leave Bush out of this. Your daughter however obviously has her mind set on her future. Just as you did when you were her age. So, if you want it to go “Smoother”, you’ve either got to just let her do it her way and support her or not with the results. Or you have to have a sit down with her and explain why you believe that her plan is fallible; which might mean trying to justify why it was OK for you to do it and not her. Unless you believe that you doing it was a mistake, in which case she probably needs to hear that. Our kids are products of their environment. That means that the majority of what and who they are is because of what we as parents have taught them; either directly or through our actions, behavior, and attitude towards life. Only you know the answer to this.</p>
<p>There are some schools that still take applications in May. I don’t think you’re in trouble yet. I feel for you because some kids really resist our attempts to communicate. If there is anyway to open up constructive dialogue go for it; otherwise you are going to have to do hand holding if things don’t work out. At that time, there will still be options.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>My suggestion is that you come up with some realistic options as to what she could do if everything else falls through.</p>
<p>Don’t share it with her, just keep it to yourself.</p>
<p>I always feel better if I know there is a surefire alternative to risky plans.</p>
<p>It is so hard- because she really feels she shouldn’t need any help.
I thought the experience of having other seniors over our winter break- who were getting lots of input on their essays would change her mind- but no matter how much I try and stress that everyone needs a second pair of eyes to go over important applications or papers- she insists she doesn’t need any help.
However- she has always been very stubborn- which runs in the family.</p>
<p>On another thread I was reminded of when I was 7 and had my tonsils out during xmas break. I was so mad that my winter break was taken up with the procedure that when they couldn’t get me to eat, even ice cream- I refused. ( and ice cream at that point in my life was a huge treat- I didn’t eat it for breakfast like I do now! 
)</p>