Okay maybe its just my house.....

<p>but does anyone else have extra kids hanging around now that the school year is over? I've always welcomed our daughter's friends, male or female to hang at our house. Fed em, water em, tolerated em, entertained em......etc. You get the picture. Since the first year of college I've noticed that they seem to come and stay....... days on end. Nice kids, no real problems, but I'm feeling the stress of having extras always around. I dont know if its because they made friends with kids that live away so there isnt the easy back and forth convenience of their high school buddies OR if its that they have gotten used to hanging out almost constantly on campus and this is a continuation of that behavior? </p>

<p>AND yes I know that we are blessed with good kids and the fact that they like our house but ......I dont know if its me getting older.........I really dont remember going to a friends and staying days on end......did you?</p>

<p>Just venting.</p>

<p>Where do you live? I'll send mine over too :)</p>

<p>Ha! I am coming over, also. I think we live in the same state - you are on the east side. I am still getting used to keeping more milk and cereal in the house. Always running out. I was dressed for bed the other night and realized we had no milk for the morning for H and D. I put on my clothes and ran out to the grocery store where I saw 2 women in their Jammie pants also shopping. Had to laugh at that one.</p>

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I dont know if its because they made friends with kids that live away so there isnt the easy back and forth convenience of their high school buddies OR if its that they have gotten used to hanging out almost constantly on campus and this is a continuation of that behavior?

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<p>Yes. Over winter break, I felt like I was running a B&B. Fresh linens daily on the beds as the guest list was in perpetual motion. To me, it's a blessing after long months of empty nesting.</p>

<p>My daughter's not home yet but we had the same thing over winter break and spring break. They're really nice kids and I'm happy to oblige but it does take away from time spent with just our family. And I totally understand the increase in milk and cereal consumption! We have a milkman (I know, don't laugh) and he even knows when my daughter is home from school now.</p>

<p>
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Yes. Over winter break, I felt like I was running a B&B. Fresh linens daily on the beds as the guest list was in perpetual motion. To me, it's a blessing after long months of empty nesting.

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<p>Yes, enjoy it while it lasts. </p>

<p>What I have fond memories of is the next door neighbor's girl over our house during the summer. She was best buds with my boys (pre-teen) and literally was here from breakfast through dinner and usually a nighttime movie before heading home. I really don't know how many years that lasted, but they were great times.</p>

<p>Older S & D have gone to friend's/roommate's homes during Thanksgiving/Easter breaks.
They don't bring people here. (Distance is an issue.) </p>

<p>We have a big family so we don't need any extras (OTOH, extras are not very noticeable). Extremely messy house. Meals most often described as "Yucky." Yelling, fighting, sarcastic insults going all the time. That keeps 'em away. </p>

<p>You must be making them TOO comfortable. Stop feeding them. . .stop providing fresh linens.</p>

<p>At my house you'd get sleeping bag space on the basement floor.
Bring your own food. You're not very welcome. ;)</p>

<p>We live in a decent size house. I am often surprised by how small the rooms begin to feel when you add 3 or 4 tall young men. (the fact that they lounge on the furniture as if they have noodles for arms and legs must contribute to the perception.)</p>

<p>Be glad. My kids won't have friends over. They say their dad embarasses them. We have a pool, trampoline, all the game systems, but no kids come over and ours leave. Sad.</p>

<p>missypie, that is sad. What the heck does Dad do that's so embarrassing?</p>

<p>amtc - you have a milkman? I'm not laughing, I'm jealous. I miss having a milkman (I'm from England originally). Where in the US do they have milkmen I may just have to move there!</p>

<p>sistersunnie- I commiserate with you.
However don't send my kids home yet- I am enjoying a quiet house and food in the fridge.</p>

<p>I must say- I admire people who can make others feel welcome- although I purposely still live in a tiny house so I can limit my entertaining to summer.</p>

<p>Go ahead and vent- then remind yourself that - you have done a lot right.
you know your kids friends- it is OK with your kids that you know their friends & their parents must think you are great as well!</p>

<p>Then tell em that you need help painting the house this summer.</p>

<p>It's great to have the kids' friends around, but I think one is more than entitled to set some reasonable limits. If this kind of thing has become habitual it will be more difficult, but your D can tactfully start telling her friends she's got something to do the next day, start inviting them over for a specific time frame etc. They'll eventually get the message.</p>

<p>If your kids are bringing people home--the kids do the shopping, the bed changing, and the shower cleaning.</p>

<p>Set this rule early, then make the friends welcome, and they'll keep coming for YEARS. Both kids are three years out of college and their friends still come to visit. I love it. (We had one call a few days ago, and show up half an hour later. Hadn't seen her since high school.)</p>

<p>But I'm really glad I laid out the ground rules early!</p>

<p>Dear sistersunnie,</p>

<p>I remember another circumstance in your life that caused me to know your screen name. I am thrilled that this is the more happy issue about which you are now posting (not to presume that there aren't other concerns) .</p>

<p>But, all those extra humanoids can be complicating. Have you talked to your daughter about who is responsible for what? Should she be changing sheets, preparing some meals?</p>

<p>Our son brought a friend here for five days. They both contributed to the "chores" around the house. It was terrific having them. I DID have to triple what I usually buy at the grocery store...but it was worth it. </p>

<p>Our kids didn't have friends over much in high school but now that they are both 20 somethings, their out of town friends are more likely to visit when they are here. </p>

<p>We're enjoying it...we figure they won't be close to home forever.</p>

<p>swimcatsmom - I'm in the NYC area. Not only does he deliver milk (in glass bottles) but orange juice, soda, cheeses, yogurt, water, eggs, and veges in season. I love it!</p>

<p>Actually she/they do prep for their friends. They dotheir fair share of shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. Its just an adjustment when others are there besides family. You cant shlep around in your pjs, etc. Not really complaining, just venting...... And yes it is good to have the girls home with or without their entourage.</p>

<p>Enjoy it while it lasts. D1 isn't home for the summer. She is staying and taking classes and is involved in a school extracurricular that will take her to a national meeting in DC. All good for her but I miss her. She is coming home this weekend with a friend for Fri-Sun. I wish it was for two weeks. D2 still has the friends over, but starts college in the fall. I know it is just a matter of time before I have no one and no friends to cook for and wait on. I will miss it. I would rather have them AND their entourage than not have them at all.</p>

<p>You could send some of them here. We live on the East Coast, our son goes to a big state university in the middle of the country, and his entourage is from the Midwest and West. They haven't come to visit, yet. :( We could use a bigger infusion of youth every now and then.</p>