<p>My H would not have answered the door- much like what frazzled said, he doesn’t answer the door or phone unless he recognizes the person.</p>
<p>I stayed in touch with my HS boyfriend and his family- I lived for a bit with his mother and sister when I relocated to the area where they lived.</p>
<p>His girlfriend then wife wasn’t happy with him talking to me, so we eventually lost contact. I friended him on Facebook but we’ve never talked.</p>
<p>I had the wife of another ex BF friend me as well- she had been an acquaintance
of mine. She was all overly friendly at first, but when I wasnt forthcoming with all the info she was trying to pump me for, I didn’t hear another word.</p>
<p>To the OP,I still think its bizarre he would travel all that way after all that time, unannounced, and not even wait to see you. I don’t necessarily think there was anything sinister, just a bizarre impulse on his part.</p>
<p>The movie Fargo also has a “weird old high school friend” scene. Marge is happily married, but nevertheless gets a bit dolled up and meets the guy who contacted her. He turns out to be a total emotional basket case.</p>
<p>I do believe the wanting to keep elite status and traveling for that; if you spend any time on flyertalk.com you will find lots of people flying unbelievable air miles to keep elite status…forget national, halfway round the world travel is quite normal. The OP would know if his trip was typical of the things her ex BF would do. Kudos to her husband but yes, mine would also have called me on my cell to tell me we have a visitor.</p>
<p>^^Hahaha, NJTheatreMOM–I was JUST thinking of that same scene and was about to mention it when I read your post.</p>
<p>In this day and age, there is really no reason to “just show up” on someone’s doorstep uninvited. As others have suggested, he could have reached out via Facebook or LinkedIn or through a mutual friend. Apart from being weird, it is presumptuous and intrusive to pay an unannounced visit to anyone other than close friends or family. Creepy is as creepy does.</p>
<p>Showing up unannounced is very strange. Seems to me that the old boyfriend has some issues he may be trying to workout. Your husband handled the visit wonderfully. I’d second the recommendation not to give your Mom the old BF’s email/contact info.</p>
<p>That being said–I don’t think it’s totally weird to contact an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Folks who organized my 40th high school reunion set up a Facebook page and lots of folks friended one another. My high school boyfriend sent a friend request and I friended him. He wasn’t able to go to the reunion, but last summer he contacted me via Facebook to see if we could get together because he was going to visit Boston (I live in the area.) His son was starting at the Sloan School at MIT and BF was helping him move into an apartment (they’re from Nebraska).</p>
<p>We arranged to meet–I brought my daughter and he brought his wife and son and we had drinks and dinner. After dinner, we all went to a Red Sox game. Old bf was a baseball player in hs/college and had always wanted to go to Fenway Park. My H arranged to get us tickets. He had planned to go as well but had to travel for business.</p>
<p>During the game, H texted my D and asked her if she thought he (my H) was better looking than the old BF. D texted back–“You bet. Plus, you’ve got way more hair!” Anyway, we had a fun evening–my D was surprised because we didn’t talk about high school at all. Mostly chatted about our kids and our lives since high school.</p>
<p>A few years back , an old girlfriend contacted my husband and said she would like to visit…it didn’t fly with me and he already knew what my response would be. It was because of the nature of the person and she would not be the kind of person I would care to meet and have in my home. I would however like to meet one of his old girlfriends because she was a good friend to him and they were so young that it it kind of innocent…also she is happily married with two sons.
My husband probably is less comfortable if the situation was reversed. When we met , an old friend had recently moved to my area…we grew up in different state. We had a puppy love thing when I was 14 and he was 16 , but remained friends for many years. We lost touch for some time and then reconnected again. Today we are fb friends and he finally got married and although he is in his early 50s , has a daughter who is the apple of his eye.
It does sound odd that this old bf went to such lengths to come visit. I would guess he is at some type of crossroad is his life and wondering about " the one who got away "</p>
<p>GladGrad, It can be worth it for the first class upgrades alone. We used to get business class or first class upgrades all the time, but they started restricting them. One level above they are almost guaranteed. </p>
<p>It would have cost $$$$ to purchase the elevated status just sitting at home. This way, we can take a nice trip AND get the upgrade. The trip has to be within a small window of opportunity. </p>
<p>Lots of other perks such as preferred seat selection, no fees for extra luggage, luggage off the belt first, additional miles to apply to future trips, and discounts and complimentary passes to the club for long layovers.</p>
<p>Hasn’t this been a theme in several movies? The man travels the country visiting his former g/f’s and gaining an understanding of his relationships.</p>
<p>If the visit to you shows up in an article, don’t be surprised.</p>
<p>Hello, OP here. Thanks for all the posts. It’s so great to be able to have a discussion with a big group of intelligent people when the need arises. Like chatting with neighbors over the back fence, but better. </p>
<p>I do believe the info about the additional miles for elite status. He is in banking with a very responsible job, so quite plausible there. My friend’s H sometimes flies to Las Vegas and gambles for a while and then flies home to get the extra miles to get to elite. (But maybe that was an excuse…)</p>
<p>I am not on Facebook or LinkedIn and my email is not connected with my name. Unlisted phone number for 23 years. No friends in common (he was a year ahead of me in school). But why not just send me a note since he had the address? I guess he thought I could ignore a note but not him on the doorstep.</p>
<p>I sent him a very neutral email asking “how his visit came about” and mentioning that I was glad he met my H. H did not give me any info about how he looked and I don’t want to ask. I did find out today that my H took him down to our family room and they watched football together! H also sent him up to the end of our island to see a beautiful tourist spot and recommended a place for him to eat up that way. (And thanks for all the nice comments about my H. He is indeed a good man to have around in difficult situations.)</p>
<p>My H couldn’t phone me to come home b/c I was quite far away–about two hours to get home and I am sure he didn’t want the guy hanging around that long!</p>
<p>My sister who is a nurse also mentioned the possibility of major health trouble. He did not wrong me in any way, so not part of any 12-step plan. When he told my H where he lived, he used “we” so I assume he is still married.</p>
<p>As long as we’re talking truth being stranger than fiction, this brings to mind “Broken Flowers” starring Bill Murray, directed by Jim Jarmusch. </p>
<p>Murray plays a character who receives an anonymous letter from someone who claims to be an old girlfriend from two decades before with whom he had had an unknown to him child. </p>
<p>He decides to go on a quest of likely exes to see if he could figure out which one.</p>
<p>Perhaps the OP’s old BF had just seen that movie and thought it might be a good idea.</p>
<p>I thought of Broken Flowers too – one of the worst movies ever, IMO, but I had a lot of fun watching it with my cousin and daughter and groaning about how bad it was. So a very good bad movie, if you know what I mean . . .</p>