OP, I think a negative review on Trip Advisor is warranted BUT I would also caution that the owner of the hotel/spa may try to publicly retaliate. His method of sucking up to you in the phone call and then berating you makes me think he may not have the emotional intelligence or fortitude to handle criticism well.
That being said, I bet after a few more days the humorous part of it could come out … any experience henceforth can be laughingly judged on a scale of “great” to “worse than those nekkid old men at the spa.”
ps - compliments on the thread title - I totally fell for the clickbait!
DS and I work out at the same gym. In the locker room the older guys are very comfortable walking around butt naked. It’s mostly a 55+ crowd. And generally the guys who are in the worst shape are the ones who are most comfortable being naked in a crowd. DS and his friends are usually covered up with towels and never seem too disturbed about it though. But they are covered up. I think most teenage boys are pretty uncomfortable being totally naked around others. On the other hand, I also don’t think they normally care much about others being naked.
I get the nudity in the steam room, sauna or even in a hot tub inside the men’s locker area - but not in the relaxation room – at least for women, the norm is that they are typically in a robe of a some sort. I’m glad your son removed himself if he was uncomfortable.
I’ve been in Russian banyas / hammans where women are just naked and walk around as such letting it all hang out, and when there, do as the locals do – but this is America!
I’m kind of here, too. If he was uncomfortable then leaving was the right move, but goodness has he never seen a naked older man in a locker room or been to a gym with all ages of people undressing and dressing together? I did not realize that apparently is a rare occurrence in our society or that older people were required to cover themselves up so not to freak out youthful minds about what happens when one ages. Maybe it’s because we old people grew up with the gang showers and locker rooms of gym class and the local Ys I guess and are more comfortable in our skin. I always chuckle to myself in the locker room and think the young women might take my aging body as a good reason to KEEP GOING to the gym LOL. I’d take the apology as you got it and move on. If there is a husband or father figure in his life, maybe have them give him alittle talk about aging and “what happens” to men.
Hmmm, I am a bit bothered by the club owner’s condescending tone he took in the phone call. I don’t like it when people just retaliate against a business without talking to management or the owner by posting damaging online reviews.
As a business owner , I know very well that you have to suck it up sometimes , despite the customer being wrong ( and I am not saying the OP’s son was wrong )
It isn’t worth the negative feedback .
While the staff might not have known that all the old men were nekked , they might need to assess this and post signs if they don’t want it , or warn patrons that they might encounter nudity.
I recall a woman at a health club I used to belong to making the other members uncomfortable with her nudity …not just a quick change of clothing , post shower , but almost to the point of being an exhibitionist …and no one on staff , including management knew quite how to handle her
Personally, I’m one of those puritanical types, I’m creeped out when women or men disrobe too much in locker rooms. My spouse is the same way, there were a few guys, not most, but only a few, who would take everything off right after a game in the locker room. He ended up changing in the bathroom instead.
As for would I send my son for a massage? No. Massages creep me out too, if you have a therapeutic need, you go to a chiropractor. There’s a reason why 99% of the arrests for prostitution in the NYC area are fronted by massage parlors.
So my point is, if massages are okay, I don’t see how a few old guys (excuse is age) sitting around nude will be a problem. I’d rather see something and look away than have someone who probably RUBBED those old guys bodies before they got to me…
At every gym I’ve been to, there are always a few exhibitionists. One gal would be naked when blowing out her hair and then applying make up. At current gym, I joke about “bra gal”, though many women wear sports bras and shorts.
When I first clicked on this thread, I thought about why I don’t date. All my 80+ year old men (patients). date and think nothing of being naked, and all but one are morbidly obese. Their female friends don’t seem to mind.
I am still confused about whether this was in the men’s locker room or the “relaxation room” where you wait before your treatment. If it was in the locker room where the men change, then I think you have to expect the nudity. That’s what the room is for. Now it is a bit odd that they are just hanging around socializing in the nude - usually you change while you are talking.
Now in the “relaxation room” where one waits for your massage therapist to bring you to the massage room, everyone is in robes. It is a dimly lit room with plush fabric seating and there is no nudity - in most spas they are coed so of course everyone is in robes.
I wasn’t in the room, but based on the female areas I did see, and what S told me, the area was a very small waiting/locker room. The men were not walking around, changing, or showering - they were sitting completely nude having an extended conversation. Some man spreading going on as well. This was not a gym or associated with a gym, but rather a typical nice hotel spa with music, candles, dim lights, herbal teas, etc. Not a place where I would expect guys to want to hang out, frankly, so it did not occur to me to inquire about nudity. Honestly, a guy changing with his back turned or a quick change from a robe would not bother S at all.
The female attendant did not enter the room with S - just told him to go in, put on a robe, and wait for the therapist (obvious now why she did not go in). S didn’t want to talk about it, but I get the impression that the men spoke to him, and he felt embarrassed and uncomfortable.
From my POV, these men have every right to do whatever they want (at least what the spa allows) in there, but the manager should have made me aware of it when I met with her earlier that day. They had plenty of time to think about how to accommodate a teenage boy. Isn’t a spa treatment supposed to be about feeling comfortable and at ease and shouldn’t they make every effort to do so? I don’t think I was asking for all that much, TBH.
My teenaged son wouldn’t have minded old nude men but he’s an athlete and has spent tons of time in locker rooms, he went to boarding school where seeing other males in the full range of dressed and undressed is the norm, he’s done his fair share of skinny dipping with male and female friends. We aren’t puritanical in our household and raised our kids to be comfortable in their own skin, literally. Nudity just isn’t a big deal for many people. Many societies in other countries are much more open about their bodies especially in cultures where community bathing is common - Eastern Europe, Scandinavia, Morocco, many asian cultures.
Since it is a hotel spa, its a good bet these older men weren’t regulars so its plausible the female staff worker didn’t know the old guys were hanging out chatting in the buff. Of course, your son has a right to leave and wait elsewhere if he didn’t feel comfortable with it but I don’t see it as anyone, staff or old dudes, doing anything wrong.
My husband is Scandinavian and grew up in a far more sexually open culture than I did. I grew up in New England, and I think puritanical describes my upbringing pretty accurately.
Modesty was the code .
He , however was brought up in the land of family nudity is not an issue whatsoever. Sometimes we have had Swedish guests simultaneously with my pilgrim family, and haven’t had time to explain that it isn’t proper to introduce yourself while in your undies to a person of the opposite sex
It seemed to work fine for young men to witness girls walking around that way , but not so much for my sister and her them 5 year old daughter that was learning about stranger danger !
Ive been to hamams in Istanbul, spas in Europe and spas here in Nevada and California. Plenty of nudity to go around, in the spa and the single sex “cool down/waiting room”. (And yes, California is in America.) But maybe this is a midwest and east coast thing?The OPs son did the right thing by leaving because he was not comfortable and the spa did the right thing by not charging a cancellation fee. Live and learn. Beyond that, I really truly don’t get the fuss.
One other thought - maybe this situation is the analog to the “Loehmann’s communal dressing-room” experience that we women of a certain age had when we were young and of firm body?
On the bright side, OP, the nekkid geezer diorama could be great fodder for the CA prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
I was a competitive swimmer for years and I still swim for fitness. I am used to nudity in a locker room. But there’s a HUGE difference between necessary and transient nudity, and just lolling about with one’s genitalia flapping in the breeze. I am fine with the former. The latter, not so much. It’s aggressive, in a way.
My own son went into the men’s locker room at my gym for a drink of water when he was 16, and came out with a look of mock horror on his face, hissing “Mom, you didn’t tell me that was the naked room! I saw all these wrinkled penises flying around and now I’m scarred for life!”
I don’t think it’s unusual in the upper midwest maybe in the bible belt regions, but I was raised with Scandinavian parents. I remember when i was young, my parents running through the snow in the buff and jumping in the lake after a sauna. There were moments when I was a teenager that I’m sure my more conservative friends couldn’t believe ( a’ la lje62) I don’t have a issue with people, men or women, that are modest, to each his or her own, but modest people also need to understand that not everyone may be like them. It’s a big world out there.
I was an exchange student on a farm in Denmark when i was 15. I would help pick strawberries in the fields and when it got hot out the ladies it off. (all except their panties) I, however, was a bit of a prude and kept it all on. They thought it was hilarious. Silly American. D lives in Germany and regularly goes once a week to the spa to play cards with her friends (male and female) in the nude. I don’t mind single sex nudity but there is no chance in hell I am playing poker in the buff with my future SIL.
