Old People (grade my essay, I beseech you)

<p>Prompt: Should we pay more attention to people who are older and more experienced than we are?</p>

<p>The knowledge absorbed through the listening of the venerable and experienced is crucial to one’s intellectual and emotional advancement. Several examples from classic literature and modern films lucidly depict that the words of the elderly confers cerebral and emotional progress. </p>

<p>In J.D. Salinger’s classic novel The Catcher in the Rye, Mr. Antolini serves as a mentor to the protagonist Holden Caulfield. Caulfield, a failing student at the rigorous Pencey Prep, suffers from an ostensible depression: the cause of such depression lies in his parent’s inexorable pressuring of him to do well at Pency Prep. Eventually, Holden’s emotional plague reaches a climax, in which he runs away from his home. Holden turns to his old English teacher, Mr. Antolini, who provides Holden a shelter and comfort in his times of emotional distress. In one conversation, Mr. Antolini provides Holden with methods of dealing with his emotional conundrums: he tells Holden to relax more, pursue his academics with greater interest of learning instead of achieving high grades, and approach his problems instead of running away from them. Holden clearly benefits from this advice, for he goes back to Pencey Prep and begins his academic year anew with stellar grades and a positive mentality. Thus, The Catcher in the Rye proves that the words of the old and experienced confer progress intellectually to one’s state of mind.</p>

<p>Throughout the modern film Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom seeks to save his love relationship from utter destruction while simultaneously maintaining his beloved time-consuming job as a journalist. When Mitch descries that Morrie, his previous sociology professor at Harvard University, is slowly dying from cardiovascular disease, he turns to him for advice. However, instead of providing him details regarding love relationships, Morrie explicates to Mitch about how to live life. Morrie informs Mitch of his blatant flaws: instead of permeating his life with work and money, he should be more concerned about his relationships with those he loves. Mitch utilizes Morrie’s advice to save his relationship with his girlfriend Jenin; he spends less time at work and more time with her. The flaws which pervaded Mitch’s love life are realized through Morrie advice, and through this epiphany he is able to save and protect his relationship and his love. Therefore, the events in Tuesdays with Morrie suggest that taking in advice of the sagaciously elderly can improve emotionally one’s state of mind.</p>

<p>After carefully analyzing The Catcher in the Rye and Tuesdays with Morrie, one can see that the words of the wise and old is indeed necessary for emotional and intellectual advancement. Without consulting the elderly, human beings are unable to realize their flaws and become wiser individuals. Listening to the venerable is the only way to provide such cerebral progress.</p>

<p>please grade, someone.</p>

<p>I’m not going to give you a grade, but I believe the best essays are the ones that don’t sound like they’ve abused a thesaurus. </p>

<p>Just looking at the essay that got a score 6 out of 6 in the BB book, the hardest word in there is perfectionism. And everyone knows what that means. Even though your essay will be read by experts, I barely came out knowing much of anything from there or feeling anything for it.</p>

<p>i don’t think so, i consider the vocabulary used in the essay infantile… if i actually used a thesaurus itd be much worse.</p>

<p>I wasn’t saying you used one, but I was referring to the way in which it was written.That was just my two cents. Someone else will probably come along and designate you a score. Good luck with your essay. </p>

<p>One last recommendation I’d make is to give On Writing by Stephen King a quick read if you find some time.</p>

<p>I’m looking at the essay, but my brain is screaming TLDR! </p>

<ul>
<li>Your essay is like eating a big dish of mashed potatoes! Where are the personal stories? Metaphors?! I know this is a boring SAT essay, but make it worth reading or it might not be graded as such. Can you do that on a whim? Absolutely! </li>
</ul>

<p>How about we see a little bit of impromptu writing on your behalf? Tell me something about a park bench. :)</p>

<p><em>scratches head</em> Feel free to take my advice with a grain of, or an entire bag of salt; My English teachers have always adored my writing but I scored a paltry 590 on the written portion of the SAT!</p>

<p>Could someone seriously grade my essay?</p>

<p>Could someone seriously grade my essay?</p>

<p>Could someone seriously grade my essay?</p>

<p>Could someone seriously grade my essay?</p>

<p>Please don’t spam.</p>

<p>It is not badly written, although it is not exceptional. I personally don’t see anything wrong using high-level vocabulary, and sometimes it is the vocabulary that distinguish between a 4 or a 6. Moreover, I believe your essay is lot better than my simplistic essay with mediocre examples. </p>

<p>I will give it a 5. To get a 6, try to make it stand out. You don’t really need to elaborate the example so fully. Maybe focus on grabbing your grader’s attention.</p>

<p>4-5. A 6 if your reader just read a 1 essay. Two arguably fictional examples. Work on something more … interesting.</p>