<p>My oldest (ds) is graduating high school this year (2010) and I’m beginning to feel anxious over what’s going to happen next. I’ve been so immersed in helping him apply to colleges, attend senior activities, etc (not to mention I have 3 other children at home including a 1 yr old), that I haven’t taken much time to really contemplate the fact that he’ll be leaving home soon.</p>
<p>The other night I was watching t.v. by myself and I realized that soon I will not be hearing the clicking of Legos coming from his room every night. He’ll really be gone. I cried and thought about how he’s been with me since I was 19 years old. I wrote him a note about how proud of him I am and how special he is to me. </p>
<p>For the parents who’ve been through this, do you have any tips for dealing with your oldest leaving the house? I am excited and happy for my son and for him to move forward in life, I am just not sure how it will really affect me and the family. </p>
<p>After 10 years of processing the feelings you’ve expressed above, your post STILL brought me to moist eyes! My goodness! </p>
<p>CC Parents Forum and Parents Cafe are a goldmine for you. IN addition to responses to your Opening Post (OP) – and I hope you get many – you can also read about others’ experiences expressed over the years.</p>
<p>Go towards the top right of this page, click on “Search this thread.” Type in the words “Empty Nest” or “Oldest Leaving Home” or similar words. To keep results to a sane number, bubble “threads” not “posts.” </p>
<p>Play around with that, but first find a good box of kleenex. </p>
<p>Not to be flip, but that one-year old you have right now will be a high school senior faster than you can say “fingerprints on the refrigerator”.</p>
<p>The time goes by so fast.</p>
<p>You’ll cry when they leave home, and you’ll cry when they come back. And you’ll get older and wiser in the process. Embrace the process…you have no choice.</p>
<p>^Believe me, I know how fast they grow up. It seems like just yesterday that David was 4 years old and running around the backyard wearing his cowboy boots and pulling his red wagon. </p>
<p>In 2001, when our ds was 9 years old, our oldest dd (who was 3 years old) was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away at the end of 2001, after many months of chemo. It was devastating to our family, and after two years of feeling “lost” my husband and I decided to have another baby. Our family was just too sad and I wanted us to have something uplifting and joyful to look forward to. At that time we had ds who had turned 11 and a dd who was 3 (she was 1 when her older sister passed away). In June 2006 we had a baby daughter. What a joy that was! Then, in November 2008 we were blessed with another son. </p>
<p>I am truly aware of how precious all of my children are. We now have 4 children (ds 17, dd 10, dd 3, ds 1) and I love having all of them. I was just surprised how strong my emotions were when that feeling of sadness came over me that our oldest would be leaving. I thought I was ok with everything. He’s staying in-state, won’t be more than 3-4 hrs from us, tops, and so I figured I wouldn’t feel “sad”, only happy and excited for him.</p>
<p>Hopefully all of you more experience parents can let me know what to expect and give advice on how to make the transition a positive experience. :))</p>
<p>My oldest is also a senior and although he expects to go to school very close by I know it will be a big change. It won’t ever be really the same and I expect some sadness. I think it helps to have friends/family with kids a few years older and to see how they got through the transition. I am hopeful that we will somehow be ready come August, and if a need a bit of a cry I’ll have a friend or one of sisters to lean on.</p>
<p>My one and only is currently in her third year at college. She is gradually pulling further and further away from home, as her life is moving on without her parents. It is the natural order of things, and it is as it is meant to be. She told us the other day that she would not be coming home for the summer; she wants to work in the city where her school is, and after she graduates next year she wants to move to the west coast. Well, you can imagine my sadness, which I kept to myself, but still… In my head I wouldn’t want it any other way, but in my heart, I am very sad and hurting. It’s normal and it’s what is supposed to happen. </p>
<p>I realized a while ago that I have been my mother’s adult child for many, many years more than I was her child child. Our relationship is a good one, and I know I am lucky to have that. I am hoping that my relationship with my D will be the same. It is just changing now, and for me, as for others, change can be difficult. But we can’t do much to keep it from happening.</p>
<p>aka - What worked for us was looking forward to the times we’d next be with kids. Start planning the June Freshman Orientation trip, the August drop off (another weepy time), Parents Weekend, and Thanksgiving/Christmas Holidays. Were there foods you always wanted to prepare for holiday dinners that you never had time for? Christmas decorations you always wanted to make? Parties you wanted to hostess?</p>