OMG--D is planning to get a tattoo

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I am about to have a fit (privately, of course). Over the phone my 23-year-old D just described the tattoo she wants to get on her upper arm. She starts medical school in August. This makes me sick. I want to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! at her, but I just kept calmly saying I didn’t think she should do that.</p>

<p>I’m sure someone else on CC must have dealt with this. Help?</p>

2

<p>What is the tattoo and why does she want to get it? </p>

<p>A tattoo certainly isn’t the worst thing in the world.</p>

3

<p>What tattoo did she describe? She’s doing quite well to be admitted to med school. I’d bet it won’t be detrimental to her future.</p>

4

<p>She’s 23 and an adult, it’s her decision. Two of my Ds have tattoos. It’s not a big deal.</p>

5

<p>It is certainly not the worst thing, but I can understand why you are upset. They are permanent and if it will be visible in clothing is it truly something she “knows” she wants her whole life? I am picturing this beautiful young lady in her wedding portrait with a tattoo on her arm.</p>

<p>My d. used to date a guy with a tasteful (as tattoos go) tattoo on his upper arm. Unfortunately it was low enough that it would show with a short sleeve shirt. His business required him to always keep it covered, thus no polos for him on casual Friday. He told me that he was so sorry he ever did it.</p>

<p>Another friend of d’s, a girl, got on on the back of her neck. Now, 3 years later she is trying to get the money together to have it removed as she says she will never be able to have her hair short and work in a place where tattoos are not accepted.</p>

<p>Personally I agree, big mistake. Experiment with hair color, hair style, clothing etc to express individuality and stay away from things that are permanent. Heck I hate the wedding china I picked out 30 years ago–glad I’m not wearing it on my body!</p>

6

<p>Oh, my. I hadn’t even thought about her wedding yet. Her grandma will just love that.</p>

<p>She wants a mermaid on her upper arm. I know she is an adult and it is her decision, but as a more mature adult, I think it not a good choice. She got her belly button pierced as soon as she turned 18, and luckily her BF at the time didn’t like it and she took the thing out.</p>

<p>My nephew has tattoos all over the place, and his 94-year-old grandpa said (to us, privately), “We used to pay a dime at the circus to see that when I was a boy.” </p>

<p>mkm56: I agree about decisions made 30 years ago. Be glad it’s just the wedding china you no longer like–I don’t like the HUSBAND I picked out 35 years ago! (Current DH is the upgraded model.)</p>

7

<p>I’d leave it alone except to suggest she make sure to get the new, easy to erase kind.</p>

8

<p>lol, bookiemom–yeah the china is easier to pack away out of sight than the husband! Glad the upgraded model is working well ;).</p>

9

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<p>Thats a good idea, but there are some downsides right now. The company that makes this ink is called Infinitink. </p>

<p>The only color it comes in right now is black, and only about 8-9 tattoo parlors nationwide have this type of ink at the moment. So its pretty hard to get.</p>

10

<p>Maybe you could describe to her the large, garish tatoo you’re thinking about getting on your upper arm?!</p>

<p>Either that, or suggest she switch her design choice to a large heart with MOM written in the middle?</p>

<p>Actually, you probably should ask her to show you all the items of apparel that she loved in middle school or early high school and that she still loves (and wears!) today.</p>

11

<p>Tattoos always seem to bring about a lot of debate between the people who like / have /accept them and those who do not. I personally don’t like them and would be upset if my daughters got them.
I agree with the idea of not liking the same things when younger. I would never wear any of my old 80’s jewelry …luckily none of it was permanantly stuck on my body.</p>

12

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<p>Love this suggestion. If that fails how about “Hon, I’ll give you one thousand dollars each year from now until you get your Residency if you defer getting tattoos until them.” Bribery? Certainly. But I’m sure a thou a year is pin money to a Bookie_Mom. (What? The handle refers to REAL books? Ohhhhhhh. Sorry, never mind.)</p>

13

<p>worked in a profession that afforded me the “lovely” benefit of viewing these tatoos and what they look like as one ages.</p>

<p>A tatoo on a young fit body looks fine, I can tell you it aint pretty on a saggy flabby old piece of flesh.</p>

<p>Almost everyone I had the pleasure of asking/talking about the tatoo mistakes they made as young people, all regretted it.
PS If I was in my twenties today I probably would have one, but not if I saw what they look like aged and flabby. Definitely not in an area that would be seen.</p>

14

<p>As someone who has a tattoo I would say it is one of the best decisions I’ve made in terms of helping my self-confidence. I’ve never been the traditionally attractive type, but a tattoo gave me control over my body that I didn’t have when doing things like dying my hair pink (mom wasn’t crazy about that either). What I chose to get is something that means a great deal to me, and I thought about it a great deal before I even told anyone I was considering it because I didn’t want anyone pressuring me one way or the other as I toyed with the idea. Mine is, however, in a place that most people will never see, right on my right shoulder blade. Unless I’m wearing a strapless dress or a bathing suit no one sees it, but I know it’s there and it’s something about my body that I absolutely love. </p>

<p>I’m a PhD student going into a field that isn’t exactly known for it’s liberalism, so I thought about the placement really carefully before making a choice. I had an older gentleman a few weeks ago who did see it ask me about it. He told me that he would never want one, but he thought mine was nice as far as tattoos go. I would definitely suggest your daughter do some research on artists before she makes a decision where to get it done, cleanliness varies by shop and requirements vary by state. Better to be safe than sick. I researched to death what I wanted and looked at artists before I made a final choice, the decision probably took me six months from the original decision to actually going through with it.</p>

15

<p>What’s funny, is I got my tattoo at 21. My parents were mortified, even my father who had over 10 was unhappy. 4 years later my mom got one. She’s less mortified now :)</p>

<p>I say, your daughter is going to Medical school, cut her some slack. These days most young people get one, it is much more acceptable than it was even 15 years ago.</p>

16

<p>Since she’s 23, there’s nothing you can really do, other than try to influence her. Is there anyplace one can get pix of old people with saggy tattoos? That might help with her decision.</p>

<p>And be thankful she’s not going fo this look (scroll to the bottom of the link):</p>

<p><a href=“http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.cuttingedge.org/body-pierce.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blog.simplejustice.us/2007/07/05/the-lawyer-look.aspx&usg=__0FFtJm1pkFtO9acVdxNK5pgf7mk=&h=365&w=460&sz=29&hl=en&start=4&um=1&tbnid=W1fJihBfnvIdcM:&tbnh=102&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsaggy%2Btattoos%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den[/url]”>http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.cuttingedge.org/body-pierce.jpg&imgrefurl=http://blog.simplejustice.us/2007/07/05/the-lawyer-look.aspx&usg=__0FFtJm1pkFtO9acVdxNK5pgf7mk=&h=365&w=460&sz=29&hl=en&start=4&um=1&tbnid=W1fJihBfnvIdcM:&tbnh=102&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsaggy%2Btattoos%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

17

<p>What’s the big deal? Most of the older teens and twentysomething people whom I know are are in college or grad school (various fields including the sciences), and most seem to have tattoos. I also know plenty of successful, professional older adults with tats.</p>

18

<p>When We Were Young (back in the Olden Days), only people of a certain lower socioeconomic status got tattoos. It’s hard for us old people to understand that this has spread to middle class people.</p>

19

<p>Tattoos still have certain connotations–especially among the older crowd. IMO they look trashy.</p>

<p>I’d say what my mom always said very calmly before I did something stupid: “You’ll regret that.” She turned out to be right 100% of the time.</p>

<p>D turns 18 tomorrow and is traveling alone to look at a college. I was just telling her
not to come home with any tattoos, piercings, or cigarettes.</p>

20

<p>My friend has a GIANT tattoo of her name on her side.(it literally goes from about her belly button to her breasts… but up her side rather then up the front. I was amazed when she did it… i guess she will never forget her name…</p>