Omg Omg Super Low Sats And Gpa Help Chance Me!!

Colleges & Universities Massachusetts Institute of Technology
1

<p>Stats:
SAT: 2400; 800 Math 800 Writing 12 Essay 800 CR (taken 15 times, all 2400’s, except once where i got a 790 in math so I took it 14 more times to prove that it was actually collegeboard’s fault. WILL THIS HURT ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)
SAT IIs: 800 Math I,
800 Math II,
745089275408 Biology (i cured cancer)
475024579804 Chemistry (i won the nobel prize in chemistry)
324750847502 Physics (i invented the time machine)
800 US History,
800 World History,
800 Latin,
800 Spanish,
800 French,
800 Chinese,
800 German,
800 Hebrew,
800 Italian,
800 Japanese,
800 Korean,
800 English Literature
APs: 5’s on: Biology, Chemistry, Physics B, Physics C, Micro/Macroeconomics, Music Theory, English Literature and Language, Spanish, French, Chinese, Latin, US History, World History, Art History, Studio Art, Calc BC, Calc AB, Computer Science A, Computer Science AB, EnviSci, European History, Statistics
GPA: 100 UW/ 475024875.999999999999 W (that 99.9999% in AP Physics really pulled me down)
Rank: 1/46250 (I can’t believe i’m only valedictorian!!)</p>

<p>Location/Person:
School Type: UBER-competitive magnet school in kansas
Ethnicity: native american - eskimo
Income: $0/year
Gender: Female
my dad was killed and abducted by aliens and i’m an orphan and I live in kansas on a farm where i have to work 23 hours a day to help feed my baby sister who has cancer, the rest of my family members were killed by jackson</p>

<p>ECs & Awards:
world president (soon to be dictator)
math team president, secretary, treasurer, AND vice-president. i ran for all four office positions and won
math honor society president (4 years)
varsity cheerleading captain (8 years)
varsity basketball captain (10 years)
varsity lacrosse captain (6 years)
varsity field hockey captain (3 years)
all state band glockspiel player (20 years)
all state orchestra cellist (14 years)
all state chorus
IMO, IPhO, IChO, IBO gold medalist (5 years)
nobel prize in bio, chem, AND physics!!
field’s medal in proving that triangles were actually squares</p>

<p>jobs/volunteering:
local hospital performing surgery on underprivileged people (10 hours/day)
developing a cure for cancer (24 hours/day)
campaigning for world dictator (20457 hours/day)
single-handedly curing world hunger, AIDs, and overpopulation</p>

<p>OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! do u think i can get in?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?</p>

2

<p>It’s either way too early or way too late for this - I’m not sure. Anyway, I’d say you have no chance at HPYS, let alone MIT because I see no focus in all your activities. And Native American? Is that really a URM? It seems like you rely on that to get you in. You also make too much money to qualify for financial aid, so . . . All-in-all, I’d say start looking for community college applications.</p>

<p>But seriously, how long did you spend typing up this mediocre-at-best r</p>

3

<p>i had some fun.</p>

4

<p>As long as it’s all in good fun :-)</p>

<p>Sometimes there are (what I think are) authentic chance threads that look like this in terms of stats here on CC and it’s pretty intimidating</p>

5

<p>dont even bother applying</p>

<p>what a waste of money</p>

<p>and seriously…*** are you smoking to make you think you actually have a shot at MIT?</p>

6

<p>Pffft…I wouldn’t bother applying unless you forgot to mention your Nobel prizes in peace and medicine…</p>

7

<p>Funniest thing I’ve ever read on CC. Very good. Oh yes, and as for chances, 0%.</p>

8

<p>So you let your sister continue to have cancer even though you cured it?</p>

9

<p>^ LOL, auto-reject</p>

10

<p>That’s the first thing I thought DHowdy =P</p>

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<p>lol OOPS. i meant she’s dying from a rare genetic disease where she was born without organs</p>

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<p>You just made my (sleepless) night!</p>

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<p>I don’t know… you’ll be competing with like millions of other applicants with the same sob stories and test scores. I hear they are trying to cut down on the number of eskimo acceptances. You’ll have a really tough time competing against all of them. And come on, only working ten hours a day? With such a piddly working schedule, I don’t think you can really use that as an excuse for your low score of 99.9999% in AP Physics.</p>

<p>EDIT: forgot to mention that curing cancer is a really clich</p>

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<p>after all, the real reason so many valedictorians are rejected from MIT is because everyone at MIT is ranked 0th. everyone knows indexes start from 0!</p>

15

<p>HaHaHaHa! I love this post! It really embodies the spirit of most people’s “chance me, waaaah” threads. You’re basically the coolest person in America right now.</p>

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<p>If you find a cure for AIDS, you might have a 0.1% chance of getting admitted into MIT. Oh, and maybe another SAT would be good. That 790 is a real big black spot. =D</p>

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<p>well, all i can say is you better hope you have an awesome interview.</p>

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<p>OP won’t be able to come up with anything to talk about in the interview! What a dullard. A do-nothing dweeb.</p>

<p>:D</p>

19

<p>Psh, you still aren’t as good as iwannagoivy.</p>

20

<p>your AP physics mark is a concern, and so is your 790. retake the SATs about 234234234 more times just to make sure. But really, it all depends on your essays and your recommendations. good luck!</p>