perhaps they couldn’t answer your letter due to FERPA rules? Since he is an adult there are limits to what the school is allowed to share, even with the parents
File for future reference that when rule issues like this come up your son (not you) should make a reasoned appeal to the dean. I still remember the orientation session where my college dean addressed us nervous students and said “I’m the person who enforces the rules. I’m also the person who has the power to waive them, so if you have a problem come see me.” This is no promise they would have allowed him in, but if he signed up for what he was told is the recommended 1st semester program it seems like he would have had a case.
@lookingforward – Unless I really missed something, nobody has browbeat the OP.
But I’ll take the first whack–70K for a school? That would’ve been MORE than a dream!
You did good by your son…enjoy his success.
He wouldn’t have loved everything about his Cornell experience, either. It is a large university that also uses TAs. Sounds like he might have been a better fit at a LAC, at least academically. But if he hasn’t expressed an interest in transferring, I think you need to let it go.
" and my spouse doesn’t want to hear about anymore and I haven’t shared my feelings with anyone else so you guys are the lucky winners. "
Man, do I know that feeling. My poor sis is usually the lucky winner. It’s when you need to “let it go” for a ton of good reasons that you know in your head but just can’t. I totally relate.
Hope someone has said something to quiet your thoughts along the way.
I haven’t gone back to check, but I think you posted about this last year when he got rejected. The consensus was your S should go in to see someone in person and keep going back until he was able to talk to someone about the situation. I don’t know if he did this.
YOU sending a letter isn’t going to do anything. Now it’s probably too late to solve the problem.
@mikemac: I had similar thoughts, but dismissed the second point because the Univ. of Georgia is very good about setting out the parameters & requirements. They even require registration of one’s intention to qualify for the Honors College so that requirements can be emphasized,
Oddly, I get the impression that OP"s son did want to join Honors College & that the enrollment in only 14 hours was done with the intent to avoid qualifying for the Honors College.
OP posted about this last year as noted by @jonri.
P.S. Whether or not OP shared information or guidance with her son may not be as relevant as I initially thought due to two reasons:
The son’s older sibling recently applied to 14 colleges & universities & should have learned from that shared family experience.
If this is Univ. of Georgia & son attended a Georgia high school, then the guidance counselor & school presentations often cover UGA Honors College information–especially with one qualified for an offer of admission to Cornell University. There were just too many resources available to the son to convince me that this was an accidental error in only taking 14 credits at a school where 15 credits is the norm whether or not in the Honors College/
Am I remembering that this was University of Florida?
I don’t want to discredit your concerns at all but at the same time, what strikes me most is that your son seems happy. He seems to have found his people and isn’t longing for someplace else. One thing I’ve told my kids more lately is that sometimes our kids don’t make the same choices we think we would make for them, but that doesn’t mean their choices are worse or wrong for them.
@SouthernHope: Seems like your son has sabotaged his admission to the Honors College twice now. Once by failing to apply on time & then by intentionally registering for one hour shy of the minimum required. This suggests that your son would not have enjoyed the academically intense environment at Cornell University.
Was his registration for less than 15 an intentional attempt to avoid the honors college? I didn’t get that impression. And he is far from the first kid who didn’t think they’d end up at their in state flagship, so slacked on some part of the application. I think it is a stretch to say he wouldn’t have been able to cut it at Cornell. I just think Cornell wouldn’t have been much better for him.
I think @Publisher may be onto something. Does your son want to be in the Honors college? I know you think he should be there and that it would be good for him, but does your son care? He sounds like a smart kid who could figure out how to get into honors if he wanted to.
The important question is…what does the son think? The parent is pining away because she believes her kid is not at the right college…but nothing she writes suggests the KID is not happy. So what if he doesn’t talk about academics all the time anymore? So what if the professors are not like his favorite HS teachers!
Is he content enough where he is? If not, HE should take the initiative to apply to transfer. If not…the parent can vent here…,but really needs to let this go.
@SouthernHope Our kids will be who they are. We can encourage them, but the impetus to take action has to come from them. From your perspective, is your ds satisfied with the status quo or does he want more? Is it truly a given that simply being on a different campus would automatically lead to different outcomes? (I am a huge doubter in that dept.)
FWIW, our kids, by CC standards, not ours, attend undermatched schools. I don’t agree bc I do believe kids can receive a great education anywhere. BUT, it does take more than going to class.
If HE wants more, I would encourage him to meet with professors and pursue UG research opportunities. Attend brown bag lunch talks. Go to guest speaker lectures. Find what is being offered to students that does not pertain to going to class. My kids college experiences have been what they have been bc they seek out what they want. It doesn’t have to be through an honors college. (Our oldest was in his U’s honors college and dropped out bc he didn’t want to meet the extra course requirements. He still participated in UG research and got to travel internationally to present the research.)
Your son is obviously a bright person because he got into Cornell. He may be the type of kid who prefers to be the big fish and that he prefers being one of the smarter students in non-honors classes. That was the preference of my D as well.
It sounds like he is happy and doing well.
Enjoy the money you are saving and use it towards his grad school.
I don’t think you are crazy. I feel your pain. You feel like if he could have gone to Cornell, where he earned and deserved to go, he might still be academically curious and alive. This is where the need/merit process for higher education is so unfair. Your son deserved it just as much as someone else yet he didn’t have the right profile to get enough money to attend. I’m sorry about that.
If it is the University of Georgia, Georgia kids love the school & its location. Plus, with the Hope Scholarship it is very low cost.
There is something very special about both the University of Georgia & the University of Mississippi that is difficult to express in words. But many regard time spent at either of these two schools as the best time of their young lives.
OP’s son will get all the personal attention he could ever want from professors in graduate school. Plus, he will be able to afford it.
", he might still be academically curious and alive. "
For goodness sakes! His brain didn’t shrivel up!
He’s enjoying the campus and is on a sports team he gets to travel with. It sounds like this is NOT an “ill-fitting” college in the least.
This is really about the OP’s fantasy life of college for her kid.
Both of my kids went to Cornell. We called it a big red machine. It offered a lot, but students had to actively seek out what they wanted. There were TAs for introductory courses, but my kids showed up for many office hours and they were able to work/meet their professors. D1 used to be amazed how few kids showed up for office hours. She said often it was just her and her math professor. I think OP’s son can do the same at his large U - go to more office hours, meet and work with his professors.
D2 found a small program within Cornell along with a regular major (philosophy). She got to know her advisor(s) very well by doing research with them. I am sure OP’s son can do the same. He can find/create some small honors program (major) and get professor(s) to sponsor him.
I am with @Publisher on this - there was no reason for OP’s son to have missed honors program multiple times.
Whether a student is at a private or public, he needs to learn to advocate for himself. Some boys may be slower in maturing, if I were OP I would be more on top of him (not the school) about taking advantage of what the school has to offer - lectures, performances, special programs, volunteer opportunities, jobs.
Based on what OP has posted, I am not sure if the son would have benefited more at Cornell, except maybe the classes would have been harder.
My daughter couldn’t go to her number 1 choice for the same reason. A highly sought after BFA at Emerson in Boston . Very selective and it crushed us since she didn’t get one of the few merits they have. She went to her number 2 and flourished. It was a blessing in disguise. She ended up changing majors and schools. She would of never be able to change majors at Emerson per se. Funny thing at both schools she went to she lived off a street called Emerson… Like it’s following her around.
As far as honors. My son went to a highly academic school. We were concerned when he didn’t even want to apply for honors. He is at Michigan for engineering sophomore . He said that Michigan is tough enough and he wants time to play intermural sports, work and join clubs. I really don’t think he is missing anything. He actually started his own club, got two large grants for them and is putting on a conference in the spring after doing research this summer… Trust me… Your son will do great things wherever he is at. Let him find himself a bit… That what it sounds like he is doing.
Hey, on the various universities that people are mentioning, I grew up in the South but we live on the east coast now…but anyway the college and the specifics of applying to Honors aren’t really as important as me getting my head around this and the advice here really really helps…I appreciate you all!
