<p>Perhaps it’s because of CPU’s youth but he/she doesn’t seem to have a grasp on reality as it applies to today’s employment world and today’s “quick perceptions” of others.
Let me put it in other terms to demonstrate what many of us here are saying, and in this example, assume it is a single, 20 yr old hetero male:
What kind of girls does Subject A want to date? Age 17? 27? 57? 77? Same race? Different race? 100lb? 200lb? 300lb? With teeth? Without teeth? False teeth? If Subject A is typical, then a 200lb female at 57 would not be what he’s looking to date. Cpu’s dream world would say- don’t be so quick to eliminate this woman. She might be funny, smart, sophisticated, and many other things that some find appealing. Yet, in the real world, we know the typical 20 yr old would not be interested- just from seeing the woman.
This silly example is to show that -fair or not- people of all ages do make quick judgments. In the case of H.R., it is their job to do so. They may not always guess right, but they must guess based on what they see.
It is silly to argue “what should be” in this thread, when the topic by the OP is considering a tattoo now, in this world, not in some idealized dream world.</p>
<p>“Wrong” with a mullet? Not exactly, imo. But, look around at today’s workforce. How many execs today wear a mullet? Far far more of those still hanging on to the mullet either play in an 80’s retro band, or are the working class. Not to make fun of blue collar, I am one too. But this whole site is largely based on college bound students and families, not students hoping to get hired to unload trucks at the local factory. A big difference is if a guy changes his mind about his mullet, it is easily fixed, painless, no scarring, no doctors, just 15 minutes in a barber chair, and BANG! out the 80’s and into today.</p>
<p>I’m not apologizing to you. If it were “unnoticeable” no one would see it and therefore no one would react to it. </p>
<p>Why did you have it done? To be “unnoticeable”? I doubt it. As I said upthread, you hope to provoke a positive reaction. All we are saying here is that if you don’t get the reaction you desire, don’t be surprised. </p>
<p>Al this boohooing about “judging” is simply ridiculous. Perhaps you simply are not honest enough to admit that you form impressions of people based on their choice of dress, hairstyle, and so forth.</p>
<p>I didn’t decide to get my ear lobes pierced. They were done as a very young child, as a cultural thing. </p>
<p>My cartilages are different. I did choose the get them done because I myself wanted them. You can’t even see them. I didn’t get them to show them off. They’re for me. Every time you buy new clothes do you flash it around to everyone? Doubt it.</p>
<p>Consolation, I know you weren’t apologizing to me. I didn’t deny that I judge. See: edited to add.
Why is it hard for people to believe that some people DON’T judge by appearance like others do?</p>
<p>“Maybe the “reality” is changing, and adults are having a hard time dealing with the new generation. All adults go through it when the new generation gets older.”</p>
<p>LOL. Reality has been changing since the day apes decided to walk upright. All rebellious teens eventually become adults. Memories of a burned bra or photos of bright green polyester bell bottoms are easier to eradicate than “body art” acquired to annoy the older generation.</p>
<p>Because it’s human nature. There are studies which prove that most of us do “judge” others by appearance, though obviously there are degrees to this. But even people who insist they are neutral have been nailed in studies which show “most” of us do this. The variable is just which specific things we find “good,” “bad,” “objectionable,” etc. For some it could be very superficial things, for someone else, greasy hair or the appearance of a hygiene deficit could be the issue, for the next tattoos and piercings could actually lead to a mistaken GOOD assessment of the person’s character or values. We also have biologically based judgments that we make, particularly as it relates to sexual attraction. Some people are turned on by obese partners, while others are completely repulsed by it. It’s a “judgment,” make no mistake.</p>
<p>Oh, please. Sure tattoos have been around for thousands of years. But until recently, in western society, they were very uncommon except among certain bottom-feeder professions. They’ve long had had a disreputable quality to them. The current fad for ordinary people and even some educated people to get tattoos is indeed a fad or fashion - a fashion that almost certainly will fade away long before the tattoos themselves do.</p>
<p>Look, bell-bottom pants have been around for generations. They come and go in and out of style. But imagine deciding in your teens or twenties, during one of the bell-bottom madness spells, that bell-bottoms are cool and that you are going to wear bell-bottom pants, in fact the very same pair of bell-bottom pants, *every day for the rest of your life<a href=“unless%20you%20later%20undergo%20a%20painful,%20lengthy,%20and%20expensive%20bell-bottom%20removal%20process%20that%20still%20leaves%20you%20with%20visible%20scars”>/I</a>. That’s what getting a tattoo means. You are embracing the fad of the moment for the rest of your life.</p>
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<p>Yeah, and looking at an old, sagging tattoos is one of the best arguments for NOT getting one.</p>
<p>I’m not sure about the old and sagging part. I got mine when I was 48 and now I’m over 59. The tattoos look just the same- vivid color and not sagging or wrinkled. I guess I was lucky in where I chose to put them, and maybe when I’m 80 they won’t look as good. I AM glad I did mine as an older adult. I was always too afraid of needles to do it at a younger age.</p>
<p>Give me a break. Clothes are to be worn on the exterior of one’s person. As a result, other people see them. If you chose to pierce your labia, that would presumably be between you and your sexual partners. Akin to choosing to purchase provocative underwear. It’s not normally on view to the general public. Piercings on the face and ears will be seen unless you choose to go about in a burqa or the equivalent.</p>
<p>I also form first impressions of people’s education and class from their accent and their grammar. Don’t you? I know people who have engaged in internet dating services who have told me that grammatical errors in emails and posts by prospective dates are a total turnoff for them. </p>
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<p>Well, duh. No one ever said it was factually-based. That is the POINT, dear. We are talking about visceral reactions, often based on certain societal markers. (And btw, YOU added the “menace to society” language. I, for one, certainly did not say that.) Of course one’s first impressions are modified by further acquaintance. But frankly, no matter how nice someone is, I do not want to have to look at their tongue stud and nasal/eyebrow piercing. It grosses me out and it just looks painful.</p>
<p>Gee, isn’t it funny that many in charge today, our buss leaders, politicians, community leaders, most of them are of the age that they were hippies, or young in the hippie era, yet CPU wants us to think parents just don’t understand. Does CPU know she’s singing a song from the mid-80’s, that many of us on the verge of adulthood sang? Yes, CPU, we get it. We know how you feel, we were there, our parents were there, and on farther back. While you could have a point that your generation of high schoolers feel differently than 40 yr olds, what we understand as older more experienced adults is that high schoolers are generally not the H.R. Director. Some day they will become that, and maybe some will think at 40 as they do now at 17, although most of the hippie generation changed. Someday it may be odd for an adult not to have face tatts. I can’t predict the future. But I have a pretty good understanding of how things are now.</p>
<p>I don’t think of youth as immature because they may feel differently How silly is that? My wife thinks differently on some things, so does my Dad. I think of youth as immature because they are young, and generally have far fewer life experiences first-hand, to learn and grow from. Children forget adults have the advantage that comes with a broader experience of having grown up while a child AND having lived as an adult. Children can only guess about adulthood based on what they’ve seen.</p>
<p>"Maybe the “reality” is changing, and adults are having a hard time dealing with the new generation. All adults go through it when the new generation gets older. "</p>
<p>I don’t know how many between 18 and 30 have tattoos now, but let’s say it’s half or even more. I am not comparing the two, but lots of kids drop out of college, too or never go - doesn’t mean a choice is wise just because it’s common. Within my circles, plenty of younger people express a distaste for tattoos. My kids and the vast majority of their friends do not sport tattoos or unusual facial piercings.</p>
<p>LOL, cartera. I don not think that a Southern accent=dumb, although I know some Southerners who complain about it. </p>
<p>There are certain regional northeastern accents that carry a strong message, though. Perhaps not to people who are not familiar with them. Ever heard former Governor Tom Keane of New Jersey, for example? William F. Buckley? Just a couple of very obvious examples. I’m certain that there are variations in the regional accent in other parts of the US that will catch the ear of people who are familiar with them.</p>
<p>We could go on and on about the pros and cons of this issue, but it seems to me that this is one of those rare instances where the liberal intelligentsia on CC are having their dearly held dictum that ‘nothing is absolute and everything is relative’ severely tested and are wishing --just this once – that SOMETHING were absolute! But, alas… reminds me of “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”.</p>