On Yeardley Love, From a Current UVa Student

Parent Cafe
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<p>I felt a need to bring this to the front page given the current discussions going on.</p>

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<p>From a current UVA student, and active member on the UVA board:</p>

<p>Please respect our school, our student body, and everyone who calls themselves a Hoo. There apparently has been some blatant disrespect for our school here, and while I’m not going to go through here and find examples, we had another respected UVA board member say that this is going on. The Virginia community is built on trust and despite common belief right now, when one Hoo feels that they are in trouble or something wrong is going on, another Hoo will stand up and say something. </p>

<p>This kind of act could have happened at any school, UVa is not the only school with top-notch sports teams, a pressure cooker atmosphere, and binge drinking. It’s college, no one is immune. Being 18-22 in this current world is overwhelmingly difficult and many upcoming graduates are scared out of their wits about what the future holds for them. I feel that this young man felt the same way, but snapped in a terrible way.</p>

<p>Thus, I ask everyone on this board to be mature about this and focus less on UVa and what goes on here. Instead, focus on a solution for the problem of our young adults today: the silent fears, anger, depression, and pains we endure, but no one seems to notice until it’s too late. A solution needs to be found for all young adults, not just UVa. </p>

<p>The way we govern our student body and how various infractions are handled are the responsibility of the students. If the media turns the spotlight to focusing on the problems with these laws and incriminates all UVa students as binge-drinkers who go nuts, the student population is going to be severely hurt. Let us deal with these incidents ourselves. UVa graduates many, many top members of society. Many of us went through college with no altercations with the law and will become very successful, fulfilling, positive members of society. Let us all focus on those, as many are about to graduate in two and a half weeks. For those of us who are fourth years, this is an extremely difficult time. But, we all feel that graduating and moving on with our bright futures is the way to honor Yeardley. </p>

<p>The UVa community thanks you all, in advance, for keeping this discussion a positive one so that the graduating class can move forward in life and demonstrate the true nature of our beloved UVa. This is not a problem or evidence of a problem at UVa. This is evidence of a growing problem within today’s college society. It’s a shame that this beautiful, well-loved young woman had to fall away from the successful graduating class. UVa will award her a posthumous degree, as she deserves everything life could, and would, have given her.</p>

<p>Wahoo-wah,
A proud UVa Graduating Class of 2010 member</p>

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<p>Too bad none of the other male lacrosse players stood up and said something when Huguely attacked Love at a party. Too bad they didn’t stand up and say something when he was arrested for being drunk, and he was violent and abusive toward the police. I don’t see that the other male students did anything to protect Love, the one who needed protection.</p>

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Life would have given her a heckuva lot more than that. Your thread title was interesting insofar as Yeardley Love was an afterthought to your post.</p>

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<p>Shoe, thank you. Thank you for representing UVA.</p>

<p>zoosermom, the post originally appeared on another thread. Yeardley is anything but an afterthought.</p>

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<p>Why is shoebox’s post in two threads? Why did he start another thread (this one) with a post he already posted in the other thread?</p>

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She certainly is on the referenced post. In both places. Otherwise, it’s about the poster and how difficult it is for him/her, and especially about UVA.</p>

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<p>That is certainly your opinion and you are more than entitled to it. </p>

<p>Thanks for trying, Shoe. Don’t think you’re going to get a real receptive audience over here and that’s too bad.</p>

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<p>Zoosersmom, I tend to agree and I am not anti shoebox but she really has no authority to post on behalf of UVa. This post and her one on the UVa board were more about her issues, how tough it is to be graduating,etc. Shoebox, all the best but we really don’t need another new thread on this very distressing issue. Perhaps a moderator could merge this? And Sabaray, I’m a UVa parent too but do feel that shoebox’s post could have just been posted in the existing thread. Just don’t see where a new thread has added or will add anything to the discussion. All the best.</p>

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<p>“Instead, focus on a solution for the problem of our young adults today: the silent fears, anger, depression, and pains we endure, but no one seems to notice until it’s too late. A solution needs to be found for all young adults, not just UVa.”</p>

<p>Most young adults manage to face those problems without murdering someone.</p>

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Look at the post. Yeardley isn’t mentioned until line 25 and then only in the context of others moving on with their own bright futures. Yeardley, herself, isn’t discussed until the very last two sentences. Really re-read the post with an open mind. It’s not pretty.</p>

<p>I’m a mom of two daughters. Yeardley’s mother will be burying her daughter in the cold, hard ground. That’s where my sympathy lies. Not with the fourth years you referenced and their bright futures.</p>

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<p>Thanks, but I’m going to pass. I prefer to keep a closed mind as I’ve done all along, it seems. </p>

<p>I’m the mom of a UVA daughter. I can guarantee that if my daughter saw anything like this going on, she’d report it. So would Shoe. My sister is a UVA graduate. She’d report it too. </p>

<p>Why people chose not to is on their conscience. But it seems to me there’s been a lot of painting UVA students with one brush.</p>

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<p>I agree with you zoosermom. That post was not about Yeardley Love.</p>

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<p>If you are a student and not yet a parent, you won’t understand.</p>

<p>But every mother who read about Yeardley (or any other dead child) for just a moment walks in that mother’s shoes and a scream wells up in her throat. It’s a primal thing. That maternal wail: Not my child. Not ever my child.</p>

<p>That’s why it’s a little offensive to read how difficult this is for students graduating from a wonderful university and going on to bright futures.</p>

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<p>Shoebox doesn’t even mention the real problem here: violence against women by men (young and otherwise) who view them as possessions, who have an overweening sense of entitlement, and are apparently unable to (or don’t even want to) control either their anger or their drinking.</p>

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<p>Not to mention trying to equate the motivations of a murderer with the admittedly real challenges that all college students face.</p>

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The OP is just darn obnoxious and has brought that on itself.</p>

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<p>Sabaray, As a fellow UVa parent, I really haven’t seen many people bashing UVa. This is bringing out so much concern because I think we are all rocked and confused by how this could have happened, anywhere. And the older I get, the more I realize there are no guarantees. Yes, hopefully your daughter would say something but doubt there is any guarantee of it.</p>

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<p>Well, maybe I’m just overly sensitive. Or just frustrated with the dissemination of incomplete or inaccurate information and speculation.</p>

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<p>I stopped reading the other thread because it seemed some of the comments were way out there and assuming way too much. Just my opinion. I personally don’t see the need to attack shoebox who is a young adult trying to deal with a difficult situation. It doesn’t seem like the right place or time to be mean.</p>

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<p>I love all the editing that goes on after I post. </p>

<p>Sevmom, of course there are no guarantees in life. But my daughter knows to do the right thing and has on many prior occasions done the right thing, even when it is unpleasant to do so. </p>

<p>I don’t see that trend changing.</p>