If you child got into their dream school, expectation can be extremely heavy, leading to heady experiences as well as terrible disappointments. What was your experience?
My daughter got into U Cambridge, her absolute dream school. She did not expect to be the best and the smartest, just to meet people who were also totally devoted to their disciplines. Her college was also one of the down to earth ones, not full of posh snobs but with plenty of friendly people who did not strut around like you might expect at Oxbridge. She was active is an excellent chorus and acted in plays and musicals. As the years progressed, the work load was brutal, with the most stress ending in exams. She was always tired, even got a diagnosis of depression in her 2nd year - we were shocked to learn that up to 25% of Cantabrigians were similarly diagnosed yet few received adequate treatment. This led to a crisis that year, but she returned for her final year more determined than ever to get through it, which was a growth experience for her but a great anxiety for us, the parents. She did very well and went straight into an excellent graduate program. Overall, Cam met her expectations and she was glad to go there but also relieved it was over. Her social life was good, but there was not enough time for friends or relationships.
I would very much like to hear from other parents and students. What was Harvard like? Yale? Stanford? Please, please, no trolls - this is not meant for boasting, but for exchange.
You’ll get a wide spectrum of answers I’m sure. I attended Yale and loved my time there. It fully met my expectations of what a residential program at an intellectually vibrant community would be. Yale excelled in making the undergrad experience fantastic – lots of culture & events, visiting speakers, etc. Students really bonded and created lots of friendships & memories. Its proximity to other cities and colleges was a big plus, too. I mean, you could decide to have dinner in Manhattan any night if it struck your fancy.
Great classes and the “shopping period” allowed you to fill your schedule with very interesting lecturers. Frankly, four of the best years of my life. I give back by doing lots of volunteer work for it (just don’t have the $$$$$ to throw back right now, having to get my own kids through their tuition needs! hahaha)
T26E4, thanks for the perspective. I think Yale and Cam resemble each other to an extent, though the colleges are very different and more than dormitories as they appeared to me at Yale. Cam really taught her to think and write.
Yale’s residential colleges were planned to mimic the Oxbridge colleges. They had their distinct flavors with its own enclosed quad, dining hall, and other spaces – much more than dorms. They had their own deans and Heads of College – and their families who lived in the quads with us. We competed against the other colleges in everything (think Hogwarts) and this competition infused a lot of loyalty and esprit de corps. Indeed, at alumni gatherings, we introduce ourselves not by name and grad year – we say name, COLLEGE and grad year. Which college we belonged to becomes the lingua franca among alums sparking conversations like:“Our women’s basketball team lost to yours in the championship my senior year” or “my roommate’s boyfriend was in your college. Do you remember X?” or “Your annual XX ball was always spectacular. I loved getting dressed up and attending.”
Indeed, my avatar is my college crest, Jonathan Edwards college and its rampant lion.
My sense was that Yale was indeed mimicking Oxbridge yet not going the full extent with all the rituals and (rather obscure) traditions. While I idolize Yale for all the reasons you stated, my son was put off by its appearance: he said it was pseudo-British and kind of laughed at it. (He also didn’t like Cam and had no interest in applying there.) His attitude shocked me. But then, it is their time, ours is past.