<p>I was watching “What Not To Wear” and I was thinking about how important clothes hair and make-up are for first impressions. Well, since I won’t be on the show any time soon (although, truly, I should be), and I can’t afford new clothes just now, I started thinking about other first impression markers. </p>
<p>What does it take your a first impression to get off on the wrong foot? For me, it’s this: </p>
<p>1) If I hear ‘often’ with the T pronounced, “irregardless” or “nucular”, I have a hard time getting over it. These are is my possible deal-breakers, especially if it’s a paid speaker.</p>
<p>2) I can put up with ‘vahs’ for vase and ‘balsaahmic’ for balsamic, and ‘Awnt’ for Aunt, but I don’t like it. </p>
<p>3) I like ''a whole 'nother". Reminds me of home. It’s handy, like, “y’all”</p>
<p>4) Weak floppy handshake</p>
<p>5) Gum chewing</p>
<p>6) Being ignored (maybe that would change if I was on “What Not to Wear”!)</p>
<p>I think the most compelling first impression (in a positive sense) is when a person is clearly full of genuine love and acceptance. A welcoming, friendly, open-hearted person. Someone with whom anyone would feel instantly at ease.</p>
<p>“Between you and I. . .” bugs me. (This always seems to be used by a certain “type” of person–somewhat educated, overconfident, etc. who thinks she’s/he’s correct–that annoys me. ) </p>
<p>Other turnoffs:</p>
<p>fat, drunk/high, loud in public, tattoos/piercings/weird hair, overly revealing clothes, bad plastic surgery, F-bombs and other crude talk, texting while pretending to pay attention to something else, slouching, mumbling, lack of eye contact, rude/impatient driver. . .</p>
<p>and anyone who wants to date my D is guaranteed to make a bad impression.</p>
<p>Wow! I/and/or my husband and daughter do/have many of the above. Most of them in private. Though I have been known to drop the f-bomb in public.</p>
<p>Lucky for me that “balsamic” isn’t likely to turn up in a first-impression situation. I thought it was supposed to be pronounced “balsaamic.” </p>
<p>Major turn-offs for me when meeting someone - newcomers who assume that I’m safe to patronize, condescend to, or vent at because one of my (many) responsibilities is greeting people. I usually find a way to get even, though. :D</p>
<p>Loud, indiscreet people bother me. Especially if they’re sitting next to me at a restaurant. I know it’s unfair, but they come across as kind of… dumb.
I will give a pass to anyone under 18 though.</p>
<p>Re: Often. American audiences are often confused by the word-play in The Pirates of Penzance because in the late 19th century, it was pronounced ‘orphan’. Many words change their stresses and syllable breaks over the passage of time. Nowdays, “of-ten” is just as correct as ‘off-en’. </p>
<p>I happen to have very precise pronunciation…and have been told variously over the years a) you must be British, b) you must be an actress, c) you must be from California (?). People’s preconceptions are bizarre.</p>
<p>Ditto the wimpy handshake…and people who won’t look directly at you when they speak. I think those are pretty universal turn-offs.</p>
<p>Also, the TMI people…often (of-ten?!) you get this even in the first conversation…no internal filter.</p>
<p>Hate to say it, because I know I am starting to be in the minority by NOT having this, but I still make a snap judgement about tatoos and piercings (luckily many times I am wrong!) </p>
<p>Hey…how do you pronounce balsamic? Balsahmic, balzahmic, bal-sam-ic? Help a girl out! :)</p>
<p>1) When saying the word “often”, I pronounce the “t”.<br>
2) I say “vase” (base), “balsamic” (ball-saw-mic) and “aunt” (ant).<br>
3) I regularly uses the word “y’all”. I was born in the south, live in the south, and will die in the south … proudly!
4) Handshakes? I don’t do that … I chest bump. Kidding!!! I don’t like a weak, floppy handshake, either.
5) If there’s gum to be had, I’m going to chew it.
6) I don’t like to be ignored, either, except on the occasion it would benefit me, like say, speeding through town.</p>
<p>When I say the word “comfortable”, I pronounce every syllable; for this, my friends and family tease me.</p>
<p>They don’t have to be. Everyone makes quick short hand assessments, whether they realize it or not (such is the nature of cognitive processing and the need for heuristics in a resource rich but time-short environment). </p>
<p>But there is a world of difference in what they are based upon. Judging someone on the basis of witnessing them being verbally abusive to the waiter or providing intelligent responses to awkward questions at a cocktail party is quite unlike judging someone on the basis of their nail polish color or how they hang their toilet paper. </p>
<p>And while first impressions of the shallow kind might be inevitable, it is one thing to make some quick calculations of those silly things (knowing they are meaningless), and quite another to actually take them seriously. Regional accents and getting off on the wrong foot? unable to get over it? deal-breakers? </p>
<p>No doubt you are joking so you probably think I’m just a stick in the mud. But the sad thing is, too many people do take such things seriously. And we wonder why we can’t get along and have so many ‘isms’.</p>
<p>^ THANK GOD you agree with me on this Novelisto. I recall that running debate, and it is beyond me how there could ever be two sides on this very important issue!</p>