<p>No, but we will feel better if we throw money in their direction without evaluating whether or not it makes a difference.</p>
<p>How truly sad. Thanks for posting. I will be thinking about this all day long.</p>
<p>Where do we draw the line in removing children from dysfunctional parents?</p>
<p>I heard an interview on the radio with the reporter. She did feel the mother, while uneducated had innate intelligence. When pressed, her opinion as the best option to help Desani break the cycle would be boarding school. I immediately thought of the A Better Chance program.
[A</a> Better Chance](<a href=“http://www.abetterchance.org/]A”>http://www.abetterchance.org/)</p>
<p>We have two ABC houses in our small town (one for males, one for females) with live in house parents, attending our local public high school. It’s an option that does not remove children from their families. There are boarding, private day and community public schools that participate. However, spots are limited and I think the application cycle starts in 7th grade to start in high school. A child would need an informed and involved mentor to even know about and begin the process.</p>
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<p>Totally agree. The step father already receives around $1k in food stamps a month. I am sure the couple is not married and mother receives food stamps too. Yet, they don’t spend food stamps appropriately and they know it. Throwing more money at this family is not going to help.</p>
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<p>Apparently we do not.</p>
<p>I was reading the article and thinking why are these kids still with their parents? The children will have a much better chance in life if they are removed from the home.</p>
<p>How can you discuss this without getting political? Umpteen years ago, when I was studying Government in college, one course had required reading which included a book called “A Welfare Mother”. The problems are no better now.</p>
<p>It’s not about politics, it’s about making the decision to remove the child from the parents, because there is simply no amount of money that could make such a family truly functional. The only alternative is to provide housing in which the entire family is in a boarding situation with a professional in the home every day paying the bills, preparing the meals, supervising the kids and the parents. It’s just an incredibly hard thing to say that adults can’t be trusted to parent their children and live their lives without total oversight. We don’t want to do that, so the kids suffer. THere is no shortage of money spent to help such families and there are entire networks in place to help them, but it’s not enough if the parents still have custody.</p>
<p>I can easily discuss this without getting political. Politics do not need to be a part in everything and have no place in this thread. </p>
<p>They do not need more money. They need education and a lot of mentoring. Im unsure if the parents are teachable. If they aren’t, this cycle will be doomed to repeat itself under their care. The kids could go to boarding school…but that still leaves the parents looming about in the background.</p>
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They already have food stamps. They had housing services and lost them repeatedly. Could you really read that article and think there was anything more the school and the DOE could possibly have done for those children, other than adopt them? There was plenty of money and plenty of chances given to the parents. They still couldn’t take care of their children (and clearly they know that). How many chances should they get to destroy their children’s lives? Their rent was paid, they had food stamps, they had the best possible education and it still didn’t work. What next?</p>
<p>They get food stamps and social security benefits. There is no amount of money that will cure what ails this family. But when does someone step in and save these children? What solution is best for the kids. I’m sure they don’t want to be separated from their family, but they are doomed there.</p>
<p>Today appears the second installment of this series:
<a href=“Invisible Child: Dasani’s Homeless Life - The New York Times”>Invisible Child: Dasani’s Homeless Life - The New York Times;
<p>I saw the article, but haven’t read it yet. Just wanted to say that, for those recommending removing the kids, foster homes are notoriously problematic. Apparently, many foster parents do it only for the money. There is a lot of abuse in these homes.</p>
<p>Good people signing up to foster parent is one thing we as individuals can do. It’s not easy, but it can actually make a difference.</p>
<p>It was mentioned upthread that it would be good to bring these children out of their environments for a brief time: Big Brothers & Big Sisters does exactly that. Also, many cities have programs anchored in local nonprofits.</p>
<p>I do think throwing money at this problem is highly desireable. By that I mean excellent educational daycare from birth through 12th grade after-school programs. Excellent food, instruction, medical care, dental care, tutoring, and so on. Essentially, this would be removing them from the family environment for as much as possible during the day, and replacing it with positive attention and care.</p>
<p>A nation could spend huge amounts of money on a comprehensive program like this, but it’s probably the best solution in the long run for our desperately disadvantaged children. It comes down to priorities. I understand that this will probably never happen.</p>
<p>An argument for public boarding schools for at-risk youth
<a href=“http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3231133/[/url]”>http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3231133/</a>
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<p>In GA, our Department of Family and Children Services is a mess. While I am certain that many, many children have been saved because of DFACS their errors have been horrible. Just in the last two months, there have been several child deaths that could have been avoided had someone done their job better.</p>
<p>And this is where money comes in – at least in GA and other southern states. Our DFACS employees are paid very poorly and while many have good intentions, we probably get what we pay for. Additionally, in general, the department is underfunded and understaffed. </p>
<p>I like the idea of public boarding schools – SEED in DC is an example.</p>
<p>[The</a> SEED School of Washington, DC ~A Public Charter School](<a href=“http://www.seedschooldc.org/podium/default.aspx?t=141237]The”>http://www.seedschooldc.org/podium/default.aspx?t=141237)</p>
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<p>Lerkin, I believe they mention that they are married, and the fact that the mom is married is a great source of pride to her.</p>
<p>Third installment today: <a href=“Invisible Child: Dasani’s Homeless Life - The New York Times”>Invisible Child: Dasani’s Homeless Life - The New York Times; (and you can read parts 4 and 5 here as well). This series will definitely be in the running for a Pulitzer.</p>
<p>While being a foster parent is a huge commitment, there is another way you can help.</p>
<p>Have any of you considered being a CASA volunteer? I think this program, or one like it, exists in many states and I know that there are many children in need of an advocate.</p>
<p>[Home</a> - National CASA - CASA for Children](<a href=“http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.5301295/k.BE9A/Home.htm]Home”>Home - National CASA/GAL Association for Children)</p>
<p>The sad thing about this is how difficult it is to actually make a difference in a child’s life. When my kids were young, we had two different friends, one in elementary grades and another in middle school, who stayed more with our family than ours. Both were bright, attractive, athletic kids with tons of potential. Both had serious family issues, alcohol, money, bad housing decisions, etc. We tried to give them a safe place when things were unstable in their home, a place to just focus on being a kid. One stayed with us for several months, casually, just one week at a time until months had elapsed and continued to spend many weeknights and weekends with us for about a year. The other was around “all the time” for a couple of years.</p>
<p>Sadly, in neither case did we make much difference in their lives long term. Each went down the predicted path and squandered their potential. Perhaps if we had been able to keep them involved all through HS, but that didn’t happen.</p>
<p>It still makes me sad that I could not make it better for them.</p>
<p>Exactly. This case sounds extreme when you read all the gory details very well-written in a manner as to evoke precisely that reaction but the truth is this is not an unusual scenario, at all.</p>
<p>That’s very sad, somemom. Good for you for trying so hard. It must be so disappointing that it did not seem to make a difference.</p>
<p>I’ve read the first three parts of the series. The writer deserves a Pulitzer. It is profoundly sad that so many children (and adults) live in such abominable conditions. The interactive display of wealth disparity in different areas of NYC was striking. </p>
<p>I was staggered by the amount of money being spent on the shelter. Where is it all going? Horrible conditions, abusive staff. Can’t anyone competent be found to manage the place?</p>