One Last Essay..please some criticism..

<p>Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>The heroes of society are able to voice the concerns of the unheard. They are the maverick of society that are willing to go against the status quo in order to achieve the greater good. These are the men and women who are able to create an impact on history due to their valor and steadfastness. Although these heroes are rare, they are often found in literature and history.</p>

<pre><code> The ability to remain determined and unwavering while opposing established institutions and common belief is is the attribute of a hero. This trait can be found in the honorable and venerable Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird. Living in a society imbedded with racial prejudice and pure hatred of blacks. Atticus Finch must face the wrath of his neighbors when he chooses to defend a black man accused of rape. The thought of defending a black man, let alone actually prove his innocence, was unheard of in this narrow-minded community. Nevertheless, Atticus Finch remained brave and courageious. he would be the voice of reason and righteousness in a time and place filled with ignorance and hate. His courage to speak of what was unaccepted denotes him and others of his kind as heros.

This unwavering rejection of the norms of society is also show in history. The heros of history are the mavericks who go against the acceptable dogmas. This is epitomized in martin Luther, the man who opposed a whole empire. Luther, a German monk, was deeply concerned with Christianity and salvation. He made many pilgramages to the Cathic Roman empire as well as studied the ancient scriptures diligently. However, he never felt completely satisfied until he realized that only fath is necessary salvation. This novel idealogy went against all previously accepted beliefs such as good works, indulgances and the Pope's authority. At the Diet of Worms, Lutehr was demanded to recant his radical views. Nevertheless, his determination to do and say what he knew was right prevendted him. This man, who was willing to go against hundreds of years of accepted practices and beliefs, is truly a hero for remaining steadfast and unrelenting in his assertion of truth.

The heroes of society are not the man and women who remain silent and reticent. On the contrary, the people who do not conform and try to change what they beleive is wrong are the heroes that will be remebered and venerated forever.

<p>advice please? i got 2 getting desperate..</p>

<p>Although I have minimal experience with the grading of the SAT essay, I hope this feedback will still be valuable. Out of 6, I would give your essay a 4 or 5. Structurally, there are two possible areas for improvement that I see. Firstly, try not to make your thesis the first sentence of your introduction. Secondly, do no use phrases like "examples of this can be seen in history/literature," just go straight to your particular examples, in this case Atticus Finch and Martin Luther. The diction and incorporation of vocabulary was very good. Here are some extra statistics (I didn't take into account the spelling mistakes when I gave you a score, since I heard they aren't important):
Spelling errors (possibly typographical): 9
Grammatical errors: 11.</p>

<p>ii thought this was at least a 5, i doubt that it would go anywhere below that. it has detail, good examples, and it's succinct.</p>

<p>i'd give it 4 or 5 as well. although there's no written rule that you best not use the same word 3 times in an essay....i noticed how the first line of each of your body paragraphs contains the word "unwavering."</p>

<p>i'm not sure whether it's a good idea to do can insert the word elsewhere and get away with it.
i agree with arjun. just directly state which examples you are going to use in your intro. good luck tomorrow as i will need the same.</p>

<p>Again, I don't have much experience with the essay section. Your essay is pretty much a 5 as I look at it, and you can definitely get a 6 tomorrow if you carefully check your grammar and put the topic sentences in the same prose as the rest of your writing.</p>