One of my Ds friends, a girl, is Eddie Haskel...

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Do your kids have friends that try and “play” you, think you are as naive as they come, and such?</p>

<p>My youngest has such a friend- during a party, she left the party with some boy, and took a cab back to my house thinking no one was going to be home…thank goodness for grandma</p>

<p>can you imagine, then the boy says, well you never said we couldn’t go into the bedroom!!! </p>

<p>And the girl says, looking me straight in the face, I wasn’t feeling well, so I left the party, and opps guess I forgot to tell anyone…</p>

<p>My H never wants her in the house again</p>

2

<p>

No.</p>

<p>I’m a bit confused. This girl left a party being held somewhere else, and snuck over to your house, hoping to use your bedroom as a free hotel room? Is that the scenario?</p>

3

<p>What? She took a cab to your house? How was she planning on getting in? Was this also going to be a B&E :eek:</p>

4

<p>She was going to spend the night, but snuck out of the party that several girls were at together, planning to come back to my house later (H and I were at a dinner and grandma is in a downstairs apartment) so she thought she would sneak back, saying she didn’t feel well</p>

<p>But she told no one, and my mom goes upstairs after hearing them come in, and finds them in Ds bedroom with door closed…</p>

<p>And the dogs went bonkers,hehehe, wished they bit that snarky boy in the…</p>

5

<p>OMG, this girl could be guilty of breaking and entering.
This is serious stuff. My friends’ daughter has a friend who plays nice to your face but then spreads vicious rumors. The other girls just take it because she is from a well to do family. When she did that to my daughter because she felt threatened by her SAT score, my d confronted her in public and she cowered like the little mouse she is…good news, she never did this again to my d but continues to torture the other girls…why?! because they let her. Advice. Use this as a wake up call. Let the parents know this is a crime to enter your house without permission especially knowing you were out for teh evening.</p>

6

<p>No, I would have to say that my kids don’t have friends that try to “play” me. They also wouldn’t have access to our house if we were away.</p>

7

<p>she didn’thave access, though she thought she did, and yeah , this was a big wakeup call</p>

<p>my H was so angry, we rushed home (were home within about 10 minutes), kicked the snooty boy out, chewed out the girl, called the mom to come get her as the girl “wasn’t feeling well”</p>

<p>And my H told her he didn’t trust her, she may not be welcome back, and my D is furious and chewed her out</p>

<p>It did amaze me though that this girl pulled such a stunt</p>

<p>I have told my Ds friends that they are welcome in my home, and if there was ever a true emergency, they could come over, guess she thought being alone with this boy (who she said was just a close friend) was more important than keeping anybody’s trust</p>

<p>It also scared me and her mom that she would leave a party with a guy, friend or not, without telling anyone, and only calling my D after getting busted by my mother</p>

8

<p>Just curious - How did she gain access to your house?</p>

9

<p>we have 4 dogs, so usually the front door isn’t locked…so when they came to the door, the girl came in alone, and mom saw her, expecting my D to be right behind, as girl indicated she would be, then girl snuck boy in, my mom waited a few minutes and went upstairs, discoverd boy, and then called me imediately, and we left dinner and came home</p>

<p>They left party abour 45 minutes early, telling no one, and were planning on saying that my D was just waiting for her ride and were coming shortly</p>

<p>Then girl said that she thought we, the adults, weren’t going to be home until midnight (this was at 11ish)…</p>

<p>I have told my both my Ds friends, the girls, that if was an emergency, (many live far away) that they could come to my home, my mom is always there</p>

<p>Say, an earthquake, a really bad date, a car accident, etc, to wait for their parents to come get them, etc, my house was a safe place to go</p>

<p>No one has ever done anything like this girl has</p>

<p>The most that has ever happened is kids coming over in seperate cars and maybe being 5 to 10 minutes apart, but my D always calls to ask if they could come over, etc</p>

<p>This was just so bad…and the boy was so rude to my mother…I called his mom to make sure he got home okay, his excuse was he was locked out…</p>

10

<p>If the girl really wasn’t feeling well, she had many other options- find my D and tell her, have her mom pick her up, call me, and I would have gotten her, take a cab to my house after telling everyone what she was doing, go sit with my mom, or lay on the sofa, etc…</p>

<p>the fact she thought I would believe her lies still galls me</p>

11

<p>Just be glad she’s such a bad liar!</p>

12

<p>Well, My D2 sometimes things I’m slow. She is 15, has a new first BF, and now his friend (boy) is also dating her friend (girl). Her girlfriend’s parents don’t “let” the other two see each other much, and the two boys go one one local HS, the two girls to another. So one day D2 asks to bring home GF to hang out. Suddenly the two boys call and are on their way over. D2 has to call the fron gate to let them in, and says…mom, I didn’t know they were coming, really. They surprised us!. Funny that they BOTH were coming over and D2. just happened to have her friend over. I smiled and instantly mentioned that I was on to the "un"planned visit. That is the kind of things D2 might try to pull. (do they really think we are that stupid?)</p>

<p>This, however, takes the cake. And yeah, I would be scared as well. To have a friend SO BOLD as to come over and SNEAK a boy over and up the stairs. OMG.</p>

13

<p>When our kids were around 6 and 8 we went out for the evening and left them with the lovely sixteen yo D of a good friend and neighbor. I had known this girl from the time she was little - she was a terrific, responsible kid all around. She sat regularly for my close friend, got rave reviews, even went away on vacations with them to act as a “mother’s helper.” Nevertheless, this was a big deal to me, because we had only ever used grown women as babysitters before. But one night no one else was available and I really needed a sitter. </p>

<p>She must have forgotten that we told her we had a house alarm which we set when we left (or she didn’t realize what that meant). Anyway, we got a phone call from the police that our alarm had gone off and they were on the scene. It turned out the babysitter tried to sneak her BF in through a back door after our kids were asleep, setting off the alarm and summoning the police! The temptation and the pressure from the BF was too great, I guess. She wasn’t a “bad” kid in this case - but she did display some very poor judgment. Afterwards, the kids apologized profusely.</p>

<p>That’s not what it sounds like in your case, though - rather than take responsibility and owning up to what they had done, it sounds like these kids were still lying about it and had an attitude even after they were caught. I wouldn’t let the girl back into my house under those conditions, either.</p>

14

<p>Yes, it was the attitude of these twits after getting caught, “you didn’t tell us we couldn’t go into the bedroom”…omg is right</p>

<p>oh yeah, after my mom went upstairs and caught them in the room, she went back dowstairs to call me, and then went back upstairs, and volia, in the room again!!!</p>

15

<p>There’s an Eddie Haskell is S’s class. When I describe him that way, people look at me as if they don’t know who that it. Then I realise that they’re that much younger than I am that they didn’t watch “The Beave” growing up!</p>

16

<p>Unbelievable nerve! Oh, and my kids would have flipped and been so embarrassed that I chewed out one of their friends, peers or whatever! Your D sounds very mature.</p>

17

<p>You don’t seem to have much respect for your D’s friends, cgm. On two other threads I remember, you pretty much dissed a bunch of them. I can’t imagine calling my kids’ friends “twits.”</p>

<p>Maybe your D should examine why she seems to choose these kinds of girls as friends?</p>

18

<p>So funny that you mention the reference. I was thinking to myself that you would have to be of a certain age to know who Eddie Haskell was!</p>

<p>I was talking to a friend the other day about some crazy goings on and refered to it being like a “real Peyton Place around here.” She said to me, Peg, you and I are probably the only ones around here who would know what that means!!</p>

19

<p>What is your D’s take on this? Is she ready to drop this friend for so violating the sanctity of her family home? If she’s quiet, I’d wonder if she described who was home and somehow enabled the friend to go home early with the boyfriend. I would be more engaged at this point with my own D,to make sure she understands what messages to take from all of this. Maybe a family meeting that includes just your family including grandma.
Smart grandma, btw, to return upstairs and check whether they were following her instructions or dissing her by ignoring her.
I’d want my D to make some statements or decisions as to what she’ll now do about her friendship with the girl.
You could prompt her by saying she shows immaturity if she defends her friend or thinks H was nasty; but she shows maturity if she’s now thinknig about what that girl’s friendship means to her.
Actually your D is now “in a bind” with at least one of her friends, and might want to talk it all out with you adults, non-accusing, just to take some meaning from all this. Very upsetting. I am warm in my own home but fierce about not having place abused. On top of that, to be rude to a grandmother…as the boy was…intolerable.</p>

20

<p>well, the girl is not welcome in my home, and my D was furious with her, and chewed her out, as did the other girls she left at the party, and currently have little to do with her</p>

<p>My D respects my home and loves that we are the house everyone can hang out in, because I am home, and it is an easy house to chill in, she does not want to lose that</p>

<p>This girl goes through phases, where she is just fine, then she gradually sliides into snarkiness…at this point my D said she needs a lot of distance and space, and will not do anything to hold onto the relationship</p>

<p>I know my D did not enable her to come back to my house, as she wouldn’t do that and she knows her Grandma is there anyway</p>

<p>HH, my D is 16, in highschool, she is exploring how relationships work, the true ones, and she has a core group of friends who are just amazing, and others come and go, sometimes it takes some time to get to know a person’s true self, often there is a facade, or the person, gasp, changes and that’s when friendships are questioned</p>

<p>Those girls my Ds had issues with before are no longer in their circle of friends, guess I should have reported that to you</p>

<p>I posted this thread because as a parent, we do our best to show our kids proper behavior, and what to look for in friends and acquantinances, and to make a call when the friendship might need to be made a bit less close</p>

<p>As well, my D has friends who she hangs with who are not the best friend type, each relationship has different levels of depth, and those girls and guys that my Ds have seen as not worth holding onto for a variety of reasons, well, those relationships ebb, as they should</p>

<p>And my Ds response to this was what I hoped it would be, she told my mom that she was sorry her friend was so rude, that she never said she could do what she did, and that she is very disappointed about the whole incident</p>

<p>My D was angry that this girl took this boy into our home, and chewed him out as well</p>