<p>What to do. It was a husband and wife in their 60’s and retired. We were just back and had a nice visit with them on Friday. Monday we get word that the husband died suddenly leaving just the wife in a large house. We know he had the larger income from a nice pension. Don’t know if she will get anything out of that.<br>
They have 6 mos to go the lease and we are inclined to let her out of the lease with no penalty is she needs to move to cheaper/smaller place. We sent flowers but did not discuss the future. Should we offer up anything or just wait and see if she asks? My wife is quite shaken by the whole thing/timing.</p>
<p>Sending flowers was very thoughtful. I would call or send a note in a couple weeks (after the funeral and all are over with) and ask how she is doing, and let her know you are thinking of her and for her to let you know if there’s anything you can do.</p>
<p>I think that is all you can do.</p>
<p>She probably can’t think about next steps right now; she will have to get through the funeral and all that immediate stuff. I would guess she will get widow’s benefits/life insurance payout of some sort, I sure hope so, if they were retired. </p>
<p>It does make you think, doesn’t it? Life often turns on a dime.</p>
<p>On the one hand, she is still in the very early shock of grief. On the other hand, among her many worries will be how she is going to pay her rent, so you might be able to take that away from her. I’d send the note paperplane recommends right away, and explicitly say that you would let her out of the lease with no penalty if she feels she wants to move, making it very clear that you are not throwing her out but merely trying to make it as easy for her as possible in this awful time.</p>
<p>I’d also follow up in two or three weeks, just to make sure that your offer didn’t get lost in all the confusion.</p>
<p>barrons, are there children who will be getting involved in seeing to her affairs? I agree with Cardinal Fang - contact her immediately, be supportive, offer condolences, and let her know you would not be worrying about the lease if her circumstances dictate that she should move. You don’t need to suggest that it’s just about $$, as she might want to move nearer to or in with one of the children or something if she doesn’t wish to remain there alone. Or maybe she will feel that the house is too large to have to deal with cleaning, etc. If she does have financial problems such that she can no longer pay the rent, you don’t want that to start dragging on.</p>
<p>As a landlord these are just things that happen. We have had tenants die in their apartments where they were later found either by us or by their families. At least he had a wife to deal with things there. :(</p>
<p>I would just stick with the condolences for now. Telling her that you would let her out of the lease could be interpreted, I feel, as you primarily being concerned about getting the rent. I think paperplane’s approach is perfect:</p>
<p>“Sending flowers was very thoughtful. I would call or send a note in a couple weeks (after the funeral and all are over with) and ask how she is doing, and let her know you are thinking of her and for her to let you know if there’s anything you can do…”</p>
<p>Emotionally, it will be best for her if she knows her situation is stable. That will also reinforce the good will between you. She should understand that you will work with her, but these pragmatic details can be handled in two or three weeks.</p>
<p>It’s almost the end of the month. Why don’t you wait and see if you get your rent on time, and whether anything gets said in connection with that? If the rent is late (and I would give her a few days’ leeway in any event), that’s a perfectly good excuse to contact her in a compassionate, but businesslike way and ask her what she wants, and what you can do to help. If she does pay on time, and doesn’t open the conversation herself, I think it would be appropriate to wait until mid/late October to talk to her about it.</p>
<p>We’ve had that happen with a tenant. We sent condolences and just waited it out. The rent was slow but came. It took about 3 months but then the kids came to us and asked if we would let her out of the lease. We did.</p>
<p>I agree with paperplane that you should wait for now - you have to assume she is overwhelmed with grief and the funeral arrangements. She shouldn’t have to worry about the rent right now, even for a moment. Flowers and condolences will let her know that you are thinking of her. Wait a few weeks and see how she is doing - if she brings it up, then tell her your thoughts about the house.</p>
<p>While we we meeting they got our acct info to do direct deposit for the rent. I know they got it set-up before he died. I have no idea what will happen or how fast those go into effect.<br>
Some good ideas here. Thanks. They have a son who lived with them a bit shortly after his divorce. He is now in Raleigh and close to her but I have no idea how much room he has, etc. I have met him and he’s a very good guy with a young daughter and custody I think.</p>
<p>Unless the account is a joint account, I believe automatic payment instructions do not survive the account holder’s death.</p>
<p>Right after a death is no time to think about moving. I think the condolences and “what can we do to help?” would be better than suggesting anything about the lease. But I’ve never been a landlord.</p>
<p>I agree with the suggestions of condolences and asking if she needs anything. Suggesting she can get out of the lease if she desires could easily be misinterpreted. If she wants to do that, let her be the one to make the suggestion. The last thing you want her to feel is that you are trying to push her out of the home she shared with her recently deceased husband.</p>
<p>FWIW, I have twice been in the position of people suggesting things when I have been in an unfortunate situation. When my husband was laid off some neighbors contacted us saying they were interested in buying our house, and when my daughter broke her ankle in three places on our trampoline and had to have surgery and pins, our church secretary called and asked if we were selling the trampoline. Both approaches were very offensive to us (in retrospect, wish we had said yes to both - but the timing was just really bad).</p>
<p>Usual case is the surviving spouse of a pensioner will continue to receive 1/2 of the previous monthly amount and with health benefits (if supplied) continued. But not true of Social Security.</p>
<p>barrons, I think if you can manage to talk with one of the children, that might be the best way to set her mind at ease without having to talk directly to her. “If you think it’s appropriate, please let your mom know not to worry about this, and we’ll talk later whenever she’s feeling up to it.”</p>
<p>I like LasMa’s idea, but I think it might be even better if you were more explicit.</p>
<p>If I understand you correctly, you do want the rent to get paid. But you are willing to modify the length of the lease without penalty to help out your bereaved tenant. </p>
<p>She might want to leave before the lease is up, or she might want to stay – but not necessarily for a full year after her current lease ends. </p>
<p>Maybe saying something to one of the children like “If you think it’s appropriate, please let your mom know that if she wants to change the ending date of her lease, I would be willing to do that. I know this is a difficult time, and I would be happy to talk to her about any changes she might want to make.”</p>
<p>^ Sounds very appropriate, Marian: caring yet business-focussed.</p>
<p>That is what we had in mind. We don’t have contact info for the son so we are just sending her a note with a soft general “don’t worry about the lease if your plans change indication”.</p>
<p>I think Marian’s words are <em>perfect</em> …</p>
<p>Changing the ending date of the lease is precisely what is meant and so much softer than “getting out of the lease.”</p>
<p>Just dropping in to say you’re kind to do this, barrons.</p>
<p>I also like animals. Thanks. I am all for giving people a break who are not at fault for their situtation. We can find another tenant if we have to.</p>