<p>It is not always easy letting our kids know how we really feel. And we always want them to let us in on what is going on in their lives but sometimes it hard to have a real conversation with our kids. </p>
<p>If there is one thing you would like your kids to know what would that be?(Perhaps something that you have never fully expressed to them before.)</p>
<p>Adults don’t really have their acts together. We just know how to make it look that way.</p>
<p>I think that young adults need to know this and not think that they have somehow failed when they find themselves making mistakes and changing directions in life. We did (and often still do) the same sorts of things. Being an adult doesn’t mean that you have to handle every situation perfectly.</p>
<p>The decisions you make at age 17-18 really have little relevance to the person you end up being as an adult; It is not as crucial where you attend college as you think it is…My high school friends who were complete slackers are the most successful people in their respecive communities…</p>
<p>I would like them to know in their souls that life is fragile, that no one promises you another day and that the life you have today can be gone in an instant and no one will have asked your permission.</p>
<p>I’d like them to know that and act accordingly.</p>
<p>Life is too short, and too precious to waste! (ditto on Zoosermom)</p>
<p>I’d like them to know how much I love them and what fantastic people I think they are. I try to convey that but . . . you know. I don’t know if they get it.</p>
<p>I’d like them to know (but there is no way for them to understand!) that the things that seem like life or death to them now will mostly fade away into insignificance in 10 years. I’d like them to know that so they wouldn’t worry so much about little things in life! (or even big ones!)</p>
<p>I’d like them to know how much they will love their children.</p>
<p>That as much as I talk about how much I love empty nest (I really do) I’m really proud of them and the fact that they have become independent and productive members of society.</p>
<p>Also, even though they don’t live here anymore this is still their home and they’re always welcome to stop by anytime they want. I hope the mood strikes them often.</p>
<p>I hope no one minds…I copied all of these (without the name of the author) into an e-mail to my D, who’s having an “interesting” time right now (read: almost 20, convinced she needs to have it all together, and know what she’s supposed to do all the time)</p>
<p>Your statements made my day (I could have said all of them)</p>
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p>To: “just” a mom,</p>
<p>I’m glad you took the liberty to do that, as this is a good discussion we are having and I would like to see us building a stronger relationship with our children by truely understanding each other. And sharing the things that are really on our hearts.</p>
<p>I hope your D will find some comfort.</p>
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<p>From Marian, above.</p>
<p>I’ve always let them know that. I kinda couldn’t avoid it, since I really don’t know what I’m doing. They’ve always seen my uncertainty and internal debate, followed by action toward the least-bad choice. So I think they know that life is just a series of “do the best you can,” not “there is only one right answer and you’d better figure it out.”</p>
<p>When I was a child, I thought that by the time I turned 21, I’d have it all figured out. I was sorely disappointed, and thought there was something wrong with me.</p>
<p>How much I love them, and that everything I do is because I think its best for them in the long run (even if they don’t see that now). It’s not that I don’t “trust” them; I know that a teen’s reasoning ability is not fully formed and the impulsive part of the brain is still in control more often than it will be when they are older. I want them to be around long enough to be able to look back at themselves and laugh; and I want them to have many options open to them as an adult - not be limited by consequences of a poor decision when they were teens.</p>
<p>But mostly that their dad and I love them more than anything in the world.</p>
<p>Sometimes “success” is not really about the big dramatic accomplishments, it’s more about the ability to keep doing what you have to do, to get up each morning, go to class/work on time, do your homework, pay your bills, avoid drama. It may not feel like you are doing some big, important thing, but when you look back from the perspective of a few months or years, you will realise that what you did was important and you did change and grow along the way.</p>
<p>It doesn’t have to feel special and amazing and frequently won’t 
but it is success (spoken to the drama queen daughter) sometimes more critical than the crazy-amazing things you’ve done.</p>
<p>That my love is truely unconditional. That everyone makes mistakes, it is how we learn. That while I might be disappointed in some of their actions, I am NEVER disappointed in them. And, yes, some of what happens in high school will really be meaningless later. And finally, be happy and please don’t sweat the small stuff, 'cus most of it really is the small stuff!!</p>
<p>Everybody is different and all people do not want the same things. Some kids may want a helicopter parent, other kids may want boarding school at age six. Having desires that the majority considers extreme, or that the majority doesn’t comprehend, makes you different, not wrong or bad.</p>
<p>I’d like them to know that although we have always been a very academically-oriented family, the most important choice, more so than college, will be the person with whom they choose to spend the rest of their lives. Having love, a supportive spouse and a close knit family will always stand above all the rest.</p>
<p>That they were wanted, more than anything else in the world.</p>
<p>These are incredible posts. CC’ers really are something!</p>
<p>SomeMom said:</p>
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<p>I wish my DH knew this. He’s still looking for the Big Splash that will make him Famous and Rich. (And in the meantime, life is happening.)</p>