<p>OP, I would second the advice about checking in with the counseling services at your school. My nephew is a psychiatrist at a well known LAC, and we just spent a weekend staying with him while doing some final college visits for my youngest. I was struck by how much he liked and wanted to help the students at his school. I think he saw himself a lot in their struggles, and really empathized with the issues many of them had. It really isn’t all people with serious mental health issues, he also does a lot of meetings with kids who are strugging socially, or finding the college does not meet their expectations, or finding that they are not meeting their own expectations at college. If Knox has anyone like him on the staff, you will find it really beneficial to go chat with them about your issues. Talking with a dean or advisor or your high school friends is not the same. You should give it a try.</p>
<p>Regarding Survivor… it seems like that is your version of the Powerball ticket. 
A dream that gets you away from everyday life and the hassles. Nothing wrong with having made a video and sent it in (more power to you if you make it), but it is true that it does not make a great impression on anyone who Googles you. Time to take it down, as you really would not want a potential employer to see it. Taking it down from where everyone can see it does not mean the same as not trying to make it on the show.</p>