<p>I really hope some of the things I say/ask on this thread doesn’t offend anyone, but should it do just that I apologize in advance. So here goes…</p>
<p>I specifically said daughters because I’m generalizing that girls are more neurotic in this situation…
About your daughters in college who play DI sports: </p>
<p>-Do they ever tell you that they feel their social life is limited because they play sports?
-If so, do they enjoy/dislike the fact that their only friends are athletes?
-Do they wish they weren’t athletes sometimes so they could be “normal?” </p>
<p>I may expand on the topic later on… but please give your feedback esp. if your daughter plays DI college sports. </p>
<p>Yes, sometimes the sport is limiting. The only friends one has time for can be the other athletes, so does your kid like that team and that group of girls? My DD did two teams (one abroad) and in one case the culture was not a good fit for her, in the other case it fit fine. But that was to work on more obsessive things like med school prep.</p>
<p>My daughter, who’s still in high school, comments on these issues frequently, so I’m also interested in the answers you get. D will be going D1 next year and we’re hoping there will be some improvement on all fronts. </p>
<p>For one thing, D did not select a school where it seemed that the team was insular and only hung with or knew each other. Secondly, her future university claims to have a lot of dorm-entered activities, and therefore people seem to develop close relationships with those living in the same residence hall. In addition, she chose a school with a strong athletic culture, so hopefully being “normal” and being a D1 athlete aren’t contradictory concepts. And finally, one issue she had in high school was that most of her teammates were not taking AP and advanced classes, and had much more leisure time than she did. This caused her to have to miss a lot of social happenings because she had homework or studying to do and they didn’t. For this reason she picked an academically selective school with high standards for their athletes. The idea is that maybe now her teammates will frequently be in the same boat as she is!</p>
<p>Well just for the record, I’m not a parent; I’m a college freshman who’s just interested in some feedback about this issue. But this is some good feedback I’m getting here from you guys… I still hope someone answers and emphasizes this question:</p>
<p>-Do they wish they weren’t athletes sometimes so they could be “normal?”</p>
<p>OK…I have two Ds who play college sports. D2 is a freshman who played a fall DI sport. The recruiting process was a breeze but red flags were raised quickly when captains’ practices started in the summer and it became evident the team partied hard. It is VERY important to understand the team and school culture. At this university 99% of the teammates are housed together. The housing is beautiful but it is almost impossible to have a social life with anyone other than your team. One athlete was housed with girls from another sport. That was a terrible mistake due to conflicting schedules. You have 6:00am lifting, classes, practice, late dinner and then mandatory study tables. You can’t travel on a game day so add another day to miss class and then be gone most weekends. At this particular university coaches had to sign off on your academic schedule and you were limited to how many credits you could take in season which would result in summer school or an extra year being required. Academics were not emphasized except to make sure athletes weren’t on academic probation and even then there was some wiggle room. I am sure there are other universities not like this one. And yes, many athletes wish they were “normal” students who can attend football games, basketball games or other college functions but there are also those who love what they are doing. You have to have the desire and passion to continue to play at the DI level. It is a job…your scholarship is the pay. It is not for everyone but there are those who embrace and enjoy the ride and those who decide they want a different college experience.</p>
<p>I’m the parent of a son who is a DI athlete; however, in talking with him and the parents of his friends who are female DI athletes, I think it really varies depending on the school. </p>
<p>He has one female friend at another DI program who dropped off the team because she didn’t have enough of a life outside of the sport - e.g. as described above, athletes on the team were housed together (coach chose the freshman roommates on the team), course selections were limited by practice times, etc. On the other hand, S is at an Ivy where the atmosphere is quite different. Members of the team live wherever they want, academics are clearly the priority and team practices etc. do not influence course selection. Much less likely that the athletes feel limited by their sport. Having said that, you have to really, really love the sport in order to commit to it at the DI level, just because of the time commitment - whether that’s at a sports dominated DI program or a more academically focused school such as an Ivy.</p>
<p>While there was a kernel of inspiration in that article, I found it to be mostly depressing! Would your kid commit to that if s/he knew in advance that was the way it was going to be?</p>
<p>I guess it depends on your definition of “normal”.</p>
<p>Or your perceived idea of “normal”. Grass is always greener.</p>
<p>As a D1 athlete much is expected, even demanded. There is some variance due to the specific sport, univerisity and of course, the coaches’ expectations. Hopefully some of that was addressed/discussed/observed during recruiting visits.</p>
<p>Middle daughter was a D1 athlete with a coach who liked to collect olympic gold medals for himself and his athletes. Neat guy.</p>
<p>Daughter stuck it out for years and her last year switched sports. still D1, but more “perceived” fun for her. Really a less intense coach. She had such a great time, made it to nationals and took third, in her “new” sport. Best senior year ever.</p>
<p>Daughter’s normal since the age of 8 was that of a full-time athlete scholar. All she ever knew. So what was normal for her was not necessarily what other college students know to be “normal”. But she found her way and realized happiness was loving what she had, not wishing for something else.</p>
<p>D1 athlete’s have full-time jobs with their sport, and have to prove themselves academically over and over. But their skills acquired for time management will serve them a lifetime. </p>
<p>Daughter graduated in May, on time, magna cum laude. She is now well-educated, well-read and has a college degree. And she knows her participation in her sport helped her get there. </p>
<p>TheGFG – It certainly convinced my S that D-III was the way to go for him, not that he was going to have great prospects at a higher level. He was already convinced that his academics were the top priority wherever he went.</p>
<p>My daughter was a D 1 athlete for her first 2 years. Major contributor at her small college during those 2 years. Complicated reasons for quitting and the whole process still does not feel good. Thank goodness we stressed love that school with or without the sport!</p>
<p>Yes, her social life was definitely compromised by her sport, but I do not think she cared those first 2 years. She loved (and still loves) her teammates. Most everything revolved around the girls on the team. It’s hard to be otherwise considering the amount of time they spent together. I don’t care what the NCAA says about how much time they are supposedly limited to - that was a joke in our experience. The sport, the season and the coach probably influence the degree of that abuse.</p>
<p>Post #4 is pretty accurate. It is hard to participate in all three areas; I think it’s the rare athlete who can pull it off, so I applaud Katwkittens D for her academic success. My D suffered a bit in that area because she (and her teammates) sought out a social life. None of them were making the Dean’s List. But again, she was socializing with her teammates outside of the sport commitment. Teammates almost 24/7.</p>
<p>The transition to “traditional” student has been challenging. But academics are vastly improved. She is finding a new social group, but it’s been an interesting process.</p>
<p>The article about the “bench player” is an interesting view. It was quite an eye opener to watch my D’s experiences and that of her teammates those first 2 years. Those that played, those that didn’t so much; those on scholarship, those not on scholarship. Just go into the process with your eyes wide open - and be aware that there are NO guarantees.</p>
<p>As I mentioned before it is VERY important that your D like her teammates. My D had a great athletic season,starting more than half the games as a freshie, a great academic first semester (Dean’s List) but really struggled with the social culture of the team and the university as a whole. She is transferring to another university next year. Really make sure the fit is right. It is hard to assess before you get there especially if you are heading out of state. In our case D made several visits but everyone she had stayed with transferred out at the end of their freshman year!</p>
<p>Some seem to thrive and some have a hard time. A book on female CC runners had some of both. (Silence of Long Distance). The focus of the book was in the hard time camp and ended up quittting despite being an NCAA champ. Her replacement did not have any problems and was always laughing and having fun. </p>