<p>NOT THIS THREAD AGAIAN!</p>
<p>and, yes, he will.</p>
<p>Do you think we made the right decision? What would you have done? And did you have to break up with your bf/gf when you went off to college?</p>
<p>Personally, the idea of an “open relationship” simply doesn’t work for me. It seems to take the entire point of a relationship away. But that’s just me, maybe.
I’m at college and no I hadn’t been with anyone before I started. That has to do with the fact that i also purposely stayed away from relationships because I realized that it wouldn’t work since I’d leave for college really far off.
Anyhow, considering that you both really do love each other maybe you should just think it all over. If it was me, and I was truly in love with someone then I’d probably try to keep the relationship going even if it was long distance.
Nonetheless, I’d say its definitly important to remain realistic about what your situations can make you feel like. I thought of that and thats why i stayed away from getting into a relationship before I started college.</p>
<p>Hooray for supporting necroposting…</p>
<p>Anywho…</p>
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<p>I’ve always held this opinion in disdain. Not only because I know many guys who’ve done it, but I’ve done it. I’ve stayed faithful to my girlfriend while in a long-distance relationship three times. Twice while in Japan.</p>
<p>It’s not unrealistic. It’s expected.</p>
<p>true. you can’t just say its expected. If a guy or girl says they’ll be faithful and their not then that is their fault. There is no way they can justify it. If you don’t think you can remain faithful then that obviously means your emotions aren’t as strong as you claim them to be and that you should just end your relationship instead of trying to drag it along.</p>
<p>this thread just won’t die!!
anyway, if they are truly in “love” with one another then there would be no need to discuss this because you can’t (or won’t cheat on a person you love.)</p>
<p>Seriously, Stuck-on-whatever. Bes. Magelt shay la ma3na. So stop it.</p>
<p>We broke up, you all would be happy to know. It’s more like a break than anything, we’re staying this way until we’re at the same place at the same time. Long distance does not ****ing work (not for us). We’re trying to save the relationship before it goes downhil. We still talk everyday. It’s all good.</p>
<p>life goes on for me… never actually been in a relationship as such…</p>
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<p>I’m assuming that’s Arabic. I’m also assuming that it’s in Kuwaiti dialect, which must be why I don’t understand a word of it.
I think it means this: “mat2oulsh 7aga malhash ma3na”…but I’m also assuming I’m wrong because what I just said makes no sense.</p>
<p>sorry to hear about your break up btw</p>
<p>We’re back together. ;]</p>
<p>But we’re not labeling it - it’s so much better. No one’s suffocating, but we’re still there for each other in every way. </p>
<p>We’re happy. =]</p>
<p>Just be careful not to get stuck in an endless cycle of breaking up and getting back together. It’ll be a roller coaster.</p>
<p>Yeah, that’s the truth.</p>
<p>In reading your posts, I realized how similar your situation is to mine. I might have a good idea of what your bf must be thinking.</p>
<p>I had been with my (ex)gf a year before I went away to college. We were as in love as any couple could be. I had been with other girls before that, so I knew I shouldn’t be taking these relationships seriously, but I truly thought that she might be my soulmate. She was 2 years younger than me, and we decided to do the whole long distance thing (I went down to VA, she was in MA). I can honestly say that it is extremely difficult starting college with a girlfriend. You’re always wishing you were somewhere else with someone else and can never really focus on making friends and social connections at your school. </p>
<p>I’ll be honest. While we were dating, I made out with 2 girls first semester. Nothing more, just kissing during drinking, but I still felt awful afterwards. I still loved this girl back home. I went home for winter break, and we sorta broke up before I went back, but after I was at school 2nd semester we started going again. 2nd semester was better, but I was having a miserable time in school, which the stress of the LDR may have added to, and even considered transferring.</p>
<p>Then I came home for the summer, and everything was like it was before, only better. Somehow we fell deeper in love. But as school loomed closer and closer towards the end of the summer, I started asking myself “Do I want to feel miserable for the rest of my college experience?” After a lot of tears and heartbreak, we broke up at the end of the summer. It was like tearing a part of you off your body. </p>
<p>Well I got back to school, and low and behold at the end of september we got back together, but then two weeks later I ended it for good. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. During Thanksgiving break I came home and we hung out and ended up making out. Awhile later I met a really great girl at school and began dating her, and my gf got really jealous. I came home for winter break and my gf and I still hang out, but there’s still that feeling of attraction for each other. It’s like no matter what I do I can’t stop wanting to be with this girl!</p>
<p>But anyways, in summation, I think a lot of my troubles could have been avoided if my gf and I had just broken up before I went to school. Even if people have the perfect relationship before college, things can get really messed up (take us for example). LDRs suck. The most confusing time of my life has been the last 2 years…</p>
<p>I’m sorry, Mightymeals. That sounds awful. But, um…
“Awhile later I met a really great girl at school and began dating her, and my gf got really jealous.”
You refer to her as your girlfriend throughout the whole thing. You think maybe you still view her as such?</p>
<p>Listen, don’t give up on something just because it’s difficult. Try to stay friends, at the very least. Be supportive of each other, but don’t try to make each other jealous. Let her know someone loves her without being IN love with her (even though you might be, and I have a feeling you still are).</p>
<p>Update on the whole thing… </p>
<p>So he went off to college in a whole different part of the world, I go to college here. We were okay then I sort of messed up, even though we had an open relationship, **** went downhill in sort of insane way (could be a movie, it’s that crazy) and then we “broke up.” Then we got back together after literally two weeks… the most horrible two weeks of my life, honestly. And I’ve been through bad *<strong><em>. Barely ate, felt insanely bad. Then he decided it wasn’t worth it and we got back together, but he was still mad and it wasn’t working at all. He was always angry and *</em></strong><em>y, I was mopey and *</em><strong><em>y. Then we ended it again after a week… ouch. That majorly sucked too, but we realized we needed time apart to see if we’re worth it to each other. Fast forward about two months later and we’re sorta talking again; like it was friendly without being too friendly or warm. Then we started talking more again, like before we started dating… and next thing you know it was winter break and we decided to just “go with the flow.” When we saw each other again I think it’s then that we both really *knew</em>, you know? We just knew. We hugged, kissed, cried a little… anyway, it was my happiest moment in months.
Now he’s gone and although we’re not “officially” together in the traditional sense, it’s working for us, because you don’t feel like you’re bound by anything and you willingly don’t **</strong> around because just honest-to-god don’t want to. Although we both have free reign to do whatever, I’m confident about us.
We’re just being very honest with each other and being very supportive. We both love each other and know it.
In the back of our heads, we both kind of know that we’re ending up together eventually, so no matter what, we both still feel… safe… sort of.
I think we just grew up and realized what was important; sometimes it takes a crisis to help you come to that conclusion. </p>
<p>Note to people that are abstaining from sex when their darling’s away: throw yourself at work. Yeah, I’m studying full-time at a uni., working full time, too, as a copy-editor, editor and head of web design at a daily newspaper… yeah. AND I have two businesses on the side.</p>
<p>Seriously; lots of pent up energy.</p>
<p>Honey, having an open relationship isn’t cheating. Cheating implies that there is a relationship to deviate from. Open relationships don’t exist, just like dry water doesn’t exist. And this:</p>
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<p>Don’t let this line of thinking prevail, because it’s not true. Trust me. Girls like yourself do that whole “I know how he feels” bit to make yourselves feel better when he’ll let you believe whatever you want to believe to make it easier on him. Guys don’t operate well in gray area very well. I don’t think girls operate well, either, but I wouldn’t bet a dime that he’s going to just not move on to justify your notion that one day you’ll get back together. I’m not trying to be hurtful, just honest.</p>
<p>I agree that long distance relationships are really tough–both people grow when they’re apart & tend to form new friendships. It’s not that anyone really MEANS to fall in or out of love, it’s just that life keeps moving on & can’t/won’t just be frozen, no matter how much either or both parties wish it were otherwise.
I’d say enjoy where you are & what your school & surroundings have to offer. If when you’re both done with college, somehow you & your sweetie re-connect, that’s wonderful, but not really something to plan on. I’ve been through several committed long distance relationships, none of which lasted the many years. We’re all still friends but found loves while apart.</p>
<p>Long distance relationships can work, if they’re built on a solid foundation. My parents had a long distance relationship while my dad was in law school on the other side of the country. And communication was A LOT more difficult then than it is now, techonology-wise. They never cheated on each other, and it’s really sweet to read some of their letters and hear their stories.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I’m learning that what they had is not common, and it gets even less common when you go to younger college students (undergraduate age or so). I’m not in a relationship, but I’ve been watching my peers. This is our freshman year of college, and while some people’s relationships with their boyfriend in another college (a few hours car-ride away or half a country away) are going strong and look like they’ll last for awhile at least, others have fallen apart or are falling apart. Some of these relationships died in just a couple of months; others have taken longer. The reasons for the breakups vary widely.</p>
<p>It’s just important to know that people change, and when you’re not together physically, you aren’t changing in the same ways. You’re meeting different people, and are growing as a person. I don’t think it’s hopeless to try to make it work out. After all, my parents relationship was better for it, I think (“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”) On the other hand, just know that nothing is set in stone…</p>
<p>BUMP</p>
<p>so how’s the relationship going?</p>
<p>Honestly, I think open relationships can work. Who says being in love with someone means that you can’t get physical pleasure with someone else? Or just enjoy their company?</p>
<p>I have several friends who have either been in long term polyamorous relationships which is a whole different ballgame than open relationships, but it can work. Doesn’t mean openness will work for you, but I’ve seen it done. IMO, it’s really the only way to make a long distance relationship work. One of my friends in college was in an open relationship all throughout his 4 years. He’s getting married to the girl next month and it hasn’t hurt their relationship in the least. That’s probably not the norm, but it can work.</p>
<p>If he could stomach the thought of touching somebody else that isn’t you then do you really think he is the best thing for you? I mean, if it is just a slip up then there are always going to be variables to consider like if alcohol was involved, etc… but it kind of sounds like to me that he is the one who would be slipping up instead of you. Don’t you want to find somebody who could only imagine being with you no matter what girl came his way?</p>