<p>
And thus it begins…</p>
<p>Alrighty. I think this topic has gone beyond the realm where it’s anyone’s business anymore.</p>
<p>Thank you all so much for your advice though - it did help. =]</p>
<p>Don’t take the harassment from these narrow minded folks who are most likely Christian fundamentalists.</p>
<p>“if it was honest, you wouldn’t have considered cheating on him”</p>
<p>*** does this mean? Speaka da english? You can be honest about an open relationship; your sentence is not remotely rational.</p>
<p>citygirlsmom “if you really cared about this person, you wouldn’t be attracted to anyone else” LOL… LOL… How naive!</p>
<p>ANY heterosexual male, no matter how long married or committed to his wife, will get turned on by looking at a Playboy or a naked woman. Now, he will probably stop himself from acting on his physical attraction, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. It doesn’t mean the guy loves his wife any less, or that he would even remotely consider having a relationship with another woman. But a man is wired to be attracted to a woman.</p>
<p>Now, some people believe that open relationships are fine, some feel that exclusive relationships were the only form that were “meant to be.” It’s the same choice as whether you believe taxes should be raised or not. There is no objective answer, only your opinion. Are open relationships as strong as exclusive ones? I don’t know. Are open relationships as strong as long distance relationships? Again, I don’t know, some things you have to discover for yourself. People do have biological desires though, people, and there’s no reasons to make excuses for them.</p>
<p>CGM, your hs daughters laughed at the screen? I bet they would, they have the expertise of, well, high school girls. Which hilariously seems identical to your own.</p>
<p>Your choice is your own, Enn.</p>
<p>peter: CGM may be insane, but she’s right this time. I’m an atheist, by the way.</p>
<p>i am not a born again Christian, and maybe am a little crazy, but Enn asked about the chances of a relationship lasting if cheating occurs, and I said probably not, sure people mess up, but when they really care for someone, they don’t mess up again and again…she didn’t like my answers, cause she thinks animal urges are okay to act on, because that is what mature people in caring relationships should be able to do</p>
<p>and considering that Enn is a HIGHSCHOOL girl, guess their opinons might be a bit on target, eh?</p>
<p>okay, clarification- attaraction does not mean following through and hooking up, I should have been clearer, and peter-parker, when and if you are ever in love, you will understand, but seeing your attitude toward relationships</p>
<p>taking a quick look at a hot male or female, of course is natural, but okaying hooking up and thinking it won’t effect a loving caring honest relationship is naive</p>
<p>Enn can do whatever the heck she wants, I really don’t care, he “BF” can mess around with whomever he wants, I don’t much care, so long as they are “safe”, what do I care, but to come on a forum and ask for advice, and give posts that lead one to believe certain things because of what the poster says, and then get all huffy when that person doesn’t hear what she wants, well she deserves what she gets</p>
<p>Do you really think, if her BF heard, Enn is hooking up and is getting cozy with Ben, that he, if he really cared about her, would say, yeah, its cool with me, she can do as she likes? Or if she hears, Johnny was getting hot and heavy with Beth at the party, she will go, oh sure, its just peachy, cause we have an understanding that, even though we are in love and care deeply for each other, we don’t have to control our physical urges, because we trust each other that much</p>
<p>and yes, my D laughed, to think a girl would really be understanding if the love of her life was making out with other girls, and if she was okay with it, they wouldn’t believe her, nor would they think there was much of a relationship</p>
<p>If he agreed to an open relationship, it means he’s the type of guy who CAN handle her seeing other guys. If he can’t handle an open relationship, or wants the open relationship to benefit him only, then obviously it’s not going to work.</p>
<p>Haven’t decided if I’m commenting on the replies or not.</p>
<p>But for the fiftieth time – I AM IN MY SECOND YEAR OF UNIVERSITY.</p>
<p>Long term relationships are tough, no matter what “rules” you make to try to make things more palatable for the parties. Not sure what “messing around” is w/o sex, but as long as it’s what both of you want & agree upon, hope things work out.</p>
<p>For me, I have not been able to sustain a long distance relationship–every time I tried (3x with 3 different men), everyone moved on to new relationships & was happier for it. My brother & sister tho were both able to sustain their long distance relationships & married their distant sweethearts & both couples are very happy. </p>
<p>It takes more fortitude than I or my sweethearts ever had tho.</p>
<p>imo a relationship is best started towards the end of college. a highschool/early collge relationship won’t last long.</p>
<p>At the risk of being controversial - many women (subconciously) consider men that don’t cheat or don’t want to cheat (i.e “committed” males) as BORING</p>
<p>This is no doubt related to evolution and genetic survival where the seed spreading males had a major advantage in moving their genes forward</p>
<p>Correspondingly females would typically (subconciously) desire to mate with males having increased odds of genetic survival</p>
<p>Some may doubt this, but can anyone really deny that the “chemistry” most women crave like cocaine addicts - has any logic to it, other than perhaps the deep (survival) logic of evolution?</p>
<p>CHEATING MALES excite women because they offer the illusive promise of genetic immortality - something non-cheaters simply cannot offer - at least in evolutionary terms</p>
<p>Women do not really want cheating, dishonest males for that characteristic in itself. They want males that are adventurous, unpredictable, have other social connections, are liked by other women (if these women are attracted to him, why shouldn’t I be?), and are a <em>challenge</em> (being a challenge psychologically makes it seem the man has value; if it’s hard to get it must be good). A man can be all these things without being unfaithful or dishonest. In fact being honest shows even more confidence and masculinity. So there you go.</p>
<p>Agreed. Applies to me anyway.Took me a while to ‘get’ him and I rarely have trouble being with someone I want.</p>
<p><em>And Vail, don’t become a women-hater. Yes, they act and think differently but don’t take it too seriously. Don’t use women for self-validation or to fill some void, either. Only you can do that.</em></p>
<p>You again, peter_parker? iloveagoodbrew is the one who said that “females lie”. I don’t agree with that statement (that ‘females lie’) and I’m just giving him some advice I learned from people in the marriage strike and you call ME a woman-hater? I don’t blame women, I blame laws that make it so easy for women to get away with just about anything they want, especially in marriage.</p>
<p>no judicial system is perfect…</p>
<p>lol at this thread still going</p>
<p>yeah. How’d it get to marriage…</p>
<p>Lol .</p>
<p>What a thought provoking comment. :P</p>
<p>I was bored. I had nothing to say, what were you expecting?</p>
<p>Yeeeah. He’s going to cheat on you.</p>