<p>While I agree that parents have rights and a vested interest in knowing everything about their child, I still agree with Marite’s clarification above. It was not the principal’s write to divulge this to the parents. You could say that the child openly chose to display her orientation and risked her parents finding out before she told them herself but I still do not believe her sexual orientation was something the principal had a right to tell the parents before the child chose to do so herself. If he truly was caring and was calling the parents about her disciplinary action for simply breaking the rule of public displays of affection, he could have just called them about that OR asked the child, “do your parents already know that you are dating girls?” and if the girl had said no, I have not chosen to come out to them yet, the principal could have respected that and made sure to not have brought that to the parents’ attention because that was not a broken rule or not even a “concern” but just his own bias perhaps but if he was truly concerned about her, he’d make sure he was not the one to break that to her parents. If she said they did not know yet, he could have even offered if she wanted to talk to a counselor at all about the issue of coming out since she was “out” publicly at the school and her parents might find out inadvertantly and she may want to tell them herself. But it was not his right to disclose that information to her parents. His role was to disclose that she was breaking school rules. He should have been cognizant and wary of the disclosure of the fact that she is gay and made sure he was not the first to tell them because he had no inkling if this would cause the child great difficulty. He could have counseled her about her thoughts on coming out. But his role was not to share that with the parents himself. </p>
<p>Yes parents want to know. Who wouldn’t? But as I said in an earlier post, if the principal overhears that my D is having sex or went to get birth control, should he call us up to divulge it? Parents want to know so they can help their child but I don’t think that school personnel need to divulge things of this sort about the child to the parents and in fact, loose the trust of students when they do so. If a teacher is having problems with a child or concerns about a child, then of course talk to the parents. The fact that this girl is gay is NOT a concern or problem in itself. The concern was that she was breaking school rules, not her sexual orienation. </p>
<p>What if the girl was dating a Black boy but did not want her parents to know. Should the principal call up and tell the parents? I don’t think so. That is not his business and is a value judgement as to whether that is a “concern”. If the girl has been cutting classes to make out in the woods day after day, yes, call the parents! They don’t need to know that the partner was gay or Black or whatever! That’s not the concern of the principal. The other stuff is and is something to communicate to parents. </p>
the school system is in the wrong - with no PDA policy in place - which would have established an appropriate set of rules to manage PDA equally and consistently across the board
the principal is in the wrong - and insensitive - by his actions - he needs sensitivity training - in fact all teachers should have this type of training
the actions of the principal were wrong - gee was there any counseling of these students or progressive action taken prior to the suspensions and parental notification??
the students right were violated - all kids do have rights irregardless of what us parents may think
the student has the right to file a suite - her goal is also to have her record expunged
the outcome of this suit will hopefully result in policy being established and hopefuly applied consistantly across the board regarding the equal/fair treatment of all students relating to PDA.</p>
<p>This girl also had the right to remain in the school she was in - by changing schools it had an obvious effect on many things - and when a kiddo WALKS 4 blocks vs RIDING a bike to school for 4.5 miles - or is made to feel seperated from ones peers - it can have a detrimental effect as well should all be aware of. It certainly makes me wonder how much effort/counseling was utilized in this situation in the process of trying to find an acceptable solution.</p>
<p>Since we do not have all the minute details - it is very difficult to pass judgement on this girl or the whole situation. There are many things that we do not know about our kids - this is a situation that should have been managed very differently and could have had a much better outcome.</p>
<p>For sure we don’t have enough information to really “pass judgement” but we are just talking of the various angles or ways of dealing with this without knowing the whole picture. </p>
<p>As JeepMom also discusses, the whole issue as to whether the PDA rules were consistently applied is a big one since the girl was quoted that in her view it was not. And while this is speculation, I’m led to wonder if the reason the principal really went after this behavior to the tune of calling up parents, suspensions and all, was because she was publicly displaying affection with someone of the same sex which was more of an “issue” at school…whether it caused lots of talk at school, lots of notice about it because it was different or not comfortable for others. I wonder if all this would have happened to a girl and boy kissing or holding one another or whatever they did. While the latter may have simply been told to stop and separate in the hall, the gay couple may have been causing “disruption” in the principal’s view because maybe a big deal was being made by others about it and so it was a “problem”. If gay behavior is not acceptable in that school community and there is little tolerance (conjecture but IF), then this became more of an issue than just two kids in the hall kissing or being “affectionate”. It may be that the PDA rule was not evenly applied (as the girl accuses). The fact that it was gay behavior really may have made an administrator take notice who MAY have an issue with such behavior. </p>
<p>If he was totally accepting or tolerant of gay behavior, he may have taken a caring attitude to when he went to report the breaking of the PDA rule to the parents and even checked with the girl to ask if her parents were aware that she was dating a girl, knowing full well that if they were not, that the breaking of that news might cause a problem. (I can’t imagine him assuming the parents knew…as coming out to parents is a major issue for gay teens). Upon finding out that they did not know, he may have pointed out that that the cat was out of the bag at school and that word could get back to her family by others who have observed and she may want counsel on how to deal with this possibility. I tend to wonder if he truly was sensitive or caring about this or if the fact that she is gay was itself a problem at school. Any educator who works with teens would be aware that coming out with their families is a big issue. I’d think he might have been sensitive to that. But perhaps the gay behavior being shown openly at school was itself an issue for him, and not simply the breaking of a PDA rule.
Susan</p>
<p>Invoking a right to privacy after continiously breaking the rules via PUBLIC displays.</p>
<p>Wow, just wow. I mean, wow. Just…speachless.</p>
<p>If they found a note or something it wouldn’t be appropriate to call home, but if she continuously flaunted the rules by making out in the hallways, what recourse does a school have other than to call home?</p>
<ol>
<li>Which rules were broken? One of the issues is that there is no stated rule against PDA nor is there any history of students being suspended for PDA.</li>
<li>It was not just calling about rule breaking, it was disclosing information about the student’s sexual orientation.</li>
</ol>
<p>Don’t misunderstand me. Holding hand in public is as far as I was willing to go in college. But that is a matter of (good) taste, as opposed to a matter of rules. The principal may object to PDAs. Fine. He should have written rules in the Students’ Code of Conduct. He did not.</p>
<p>Marite, I did not realize that they didn’t even have written rules about PDA in the student handbook/policies. That makes this matter even worse because how was THAT consistently applied then? It seems even MORE so that this particular “instance” or “couple” were focused on for discipline. My curiousity is even more leaned toward that perhaps it was because they were displaying gay behavior that made it an offense or a problem at school. I can’t help but to be drawn to think that the fact that it was homosexual displays of affection that was a “problem” or “concern” and then of course, there is the issue of bringing her sexual orientation to the parents as well. I think there is not much leg to stand on when there is no policy here so what rule did they break? </p>
<p>What a bizarre idea. A civil rights suit on behalf of students who want to obnoxiously suck face in the hallway. Nothing in the posted articles suggests that hetero “get a freakin’ room” behavior is knowingly allowed at this school. What we have here is, I think, a “McGreevey defense.” That is, as in former NJ Governor James McGreevey, who, when confronted with an irrefutable charge of gross corruption, chose to “come out” as a gay man. This is a smoke screen.</p>
<p>Look, the girls were previously suspended twice, and I find it amazing that their parents didn’t want to know the details of their suspensions back then! Give me a break. If my daughter had been twice suspended for gratuitous making out in the hallway, I’d want to know the name of the darn guy. What if it had been two different guys? Should the school be prohibited from telling me that information as well? After all, that would imply that she was a floozy! Too judgemental! Can’t let the parents know! </p>
<p>Cheryl’s parents finally were told that their daugher’s accomplice in misbehavior was named Nancy, not Bob. After a year, and two suspensions–one for an entire week! This lawsuit is a farce.</p>