<p>But it doesn’t sound like he’s actually interested in working a budget. If he was, he’d be happy with, “Here is the amount of money, live with it.” Sounds like he wants to peruse every single purchase, to deem if each specific one is acceptable. The daughter bringing home stacks of receipts for him to look at.</p>
<p>As far as monthly costs, my kids meal plan can cost as much as $450 per month. Books and school supplies could be $100-$200. Thankfully he is able to get plenty of used books and online material, but not everyone is so lucky. I think that money adds up quickly. I don’t think her H’s goal is to teach the D how to budget, that sounds like Mom’s goal.</p>
<p>One thing that is not clear to me, is why Mom wants the daughter to have a credit card at all. How is that teaching her how to budget, if she is getting a monthly allowance put into her checking account AND the credit card. Shouldn’t expenses be paid out of the monthly allowance, isn’t that the point of getting the allowance? Seems like the credit card should only be for emergency use, and then can be reconciled afterwards. Perhaps that is Dad’s objection, that now she is getting the cash, AND use of the credit card, so he wants to discourage her from using it?</p>
<p>I totally agree. I think the credit card should be for emergency use…or for a big ticket item like a plane ticket to fly home. Other than that…put an amount in the account…and let her budget it.</p>
<p>Yes, a meal plan can cost $450 a month. But when my kids lived off campus, they spent far less than $450 a mint on their food, toiletries and cleaning supplies. Far less. But then, my kids cooked, and used leftovers for lunch. And packed snacks, and had commuter coffee cups which they filled at their apartments, not at Starbucks.</p>
<p>Mine cooks and eat mostly fresh fruits and vegetables. She spends more money on zipcar or rather cool zipcar. But she is working on 2 jobs, but told me she will drop one when it becomes too much.</p>
<p>I’d just have those incidentals be part of the in-the-bank budget and reserve the credit card for emergencies, or doctor visit.</p>
<p>My kids have their own checking accounts with their own Visa check cards. The accounts are linked to mine, though, so in an emergency I can immediately transfer money from my account to theirs via online banking. </p>
<p>I just want to comment that the OP seems to want feedback about how others handle providing their college kids with money for approved expenses (for those parents that do) and also perhaps suggestions as to how to handle her dh or feedback about whether his approach is reasonable. I didn’t see anything her about asking if the amount of money she and her husband appear to have deeemed acceptable was, in fact, a reasonable amount.</p>
<p>Like others, it sounds to me like this is about control and her husband wants an unreasonable amount of control over his 21 year old. I haven’t heard anything about the husband thinking the daughter is spending too much money. Very tough situation as, while it’s tempting to say ‘yes, dear’ and then tell the daughter she doesn’t need to call before using the charge card for something the parents have approved in the past, I know that kind of deception would not fly in my house. </p>
<p>I’d try, yet again, to convince my husband to agree to an amount and just deposit it in the daughters account either monthly or per semester and allow her the opportunity to budget her own money. If that didn’t work, I’d try to convince my husband to come up with a pre-approved list of expenses for which dd didn’t need to call…after all, if all three parties know the answer will be ‘yes’, why does the daughter have to call (i.e. a medical expense)? If dh still didn’t agree, I guess I’d just do my best to live with the pre-authorization until May when, hopefully, dd will have a job and be on her own (and feel very annoyed with my husband in the meantime!). </p>
<p>One other thought–if I really found that my dh could not be swayed, I’d see if we could move to a notification rather than prior authorization system where dd would send an email or text. My daughters notify me electronically when they use my credit card – it’s always been for something they know I’ll pay for, like textbooks, but they text or email to let me know.</p>
<p>I do agree that a 21 year old needs a credit card in her own name for all the reasons that have already been mentioned.</p>
<p>“I just want to comment that the OP seems to want feedback about how others handle providing their college kids with money for approved expenses (for those parents that do) and also perhaps suggestions as to how to handle her dh or feedback about whether his approach is reasonable.”</p>
<p>I’m not sure if the OP actually wants feedback. She hasn’t responded to a single one of the many good suggestions that people have posted on here. Perhaps she hasn’t had time to read the posts, or maybe this is more of a ranting/validation thread.</p>
<p>I don’t want to know what my son spends the money on. He is in an apartment this year, No meal plan.We give him $80 a week which he uses for Food, Toiletries and entertainment. He has a debit/credit card that I deposit money into every 2 weeks. At first he was charging everything and I would see every charge on the statement. Ugh. So I asked him to take the $80 out every week and spend it that way. I mean really who wants to see every little detail?</p>
<p>I would just give her the money and let her manage it. I would think $800 is plenty. If she runs out she could call and you could let her borrow from next months $800.</p>