<p>DS calls M and informs her that he thinks that he could have gone to a OOS or local university instead of his undergrad education at an ranked engineering, private school.</p>
<p>Background:
DS did very well in public HS, NMS. His M tells him that he should try for the top schools, for which he does. I tell him when he was a hs junior, that he should not let money be an issue for his undergrad education. We had initially funded an UGMA and its investment did very well up to 9/11. He applies to top engineering schools and gets in to a few of them. Our assets and his UGMA puts us at full pay and his education is eventually funded by loans and the UGMA. He finishes undergrad with a slight net positive balance. The UGMA functions as envisioned 21 years prior. DS does very well as an undergrad and gets into a funded, MS program at a ranked, world university. He obtains multiple global internships from big company. He finds employment at a ranked, nearby OOS, as Staff, assisting grad students and postdocs complete their projects besides doing special gofer work for the PI. </p>
<p>The message he gives us.
DS tells W and says that after his undergrad, the grad school, the internships, and the university where he is works, have smart students who are from not so well known, state, and private universities. He rarely comes across people who have his educational pedigree. He says that perhaps he could’ve gone to a less expensive undergrad university and saved his educational trust fund for other stuff.</p>
<p>Well duh that’s not news, but M just should smile and say “but honey you went where we thought was best for you so I am proud and happy. You should never look back, only forward and you should never second guess what things might have happened or not happened because of where you were.”</p>
<p>I see this a lot on CC. It seems that many feel that top rated schools mean better jobs and that is a reason to attend such a school. I never looked at it that way, nor did my kids. First, I think you can get a good job no matter where you went to college, as it is the person, not the pedigree, that earns the job. The reason one might choose a very competitive college, however, is not seen by all as to what kind of job such a school will help you attain. Rather, many who seek such college environments, do so for the educational experience itself. They desire a certain atmosphere for college and level of challenge and seek a school that fits that desire. College is about more than getting a job. In any case, a better college may not mean a better job. Opportunities sometimes arise due to where you went to school and who you meet and connect with, but that is true anywhere. </p>
<p>Does it really matter that your son could attain the same job had he gone to a cheaper school? If it were me, it would be besides the point. If he loved his school and it was a good fit and he got a good education there, it was wroth it. The value of my kids’ education is not measured by what job they attain after they graduate.</p>
<p>We already know people who have gone to various schools that have ended up with good jobs–some from flagship U, some from podunk U and some from name-brand U. We were fortunate that we were able to allow our kids to choose schools where they thought they could thrive and be happy. So far, both are happy they had the opportunity and we have no regrets. We expect that they will continue to meet people who have travelled different routes to get where they needed to go, including many that cost a lot less. We do NOT expect to have regrets or 2nd guess ourselves or our kids.</p>
<p>By necessity, any time we choose one path, we will never know exactly where another would have led or how the journey or destination may have changed. You, your W & kiddo should all be proud and happy that he had the great experiences and range of choices and has a job he enjoys! We are a composite of all the experiences we have in our lives–the good AND the bad and the mediocre. :)</p>
<p>Did you and your son choose his undergrad university for a job or an education? No one can ever take away the education experience, it becomes a part of you. Would the money already spent on an education be better spent on something else? I doubt it. Presumably he will eventually have that amount of money again someday and be able to choose how to spend it. I’m sure many of the smart students in his grad program wished they could have had his education for their undergrad experience, but couldn’t afford it. Life isn’t about money spent in the most financially beneficial way. Allow yourselves to have enjoyed the luxury of the more expensive education.</p>
<p>An analogy. The cheap car will get you to the same destination as the luxury car, but the journey may be far more enjoyable in the high priced vehicle.</p>
<p>Not to read too much into this, but it makes me wonder why OP’s son is making these observations to his mother. Since it sounded like mother was the one who encouraged him to go to the best school, is he “blaming” her for the “loss” of his trust fund money, which he could now presumably be using for other purposes? On the other hand, is son feeling resentful of these students from “lesser” schools, who appear to be successful regardless of their cheaper school? Or is son just musing, and finding the whole thing mildly interesting, whereas OP is actually the one second-guessing the expenditures on top-flight university?</p>
Well said S!</p>